AIBU? Can't tell what new neighbour is saying

[nutterbutsquashed]

I can't work out a word he's saying.

I actually find it quite annoying. If I'm in the garden he shuffles over and mumbles something at me. I just end up saying "oh, really ... right ... yes ... oh?"

How do you deal with it? AIBU to wish he'd bugger off!

The guy could have a medical issue and you're ranting on AIBU about the fact that he doesn't speak clearly enough for you. You sound delightful.

Spelling and grammar are important.

You have already proved how rude you are by correcting someones spelling so I don't think asking him to bugger off will be a problem for you.

nutterbutsquashed if you're going to pull people up on their grammar you might want to ensure you haven't made any basic mistakes. The final sentence of your OP should have a question mark, not an exclamation mark.

nina2b

They are, but not in this context.

Just nod and smile it works a treat.

Not sure what to suggest, but I once did the smile and polite nod to a mumbling neighbour, and came home to find a pile of home grown veg on the doorstep.....

The guy could have a medical issue and you're ranting on AIBU about the fact that he doesn't speak clearly enough for you. You sound delightful.

Indeed.

This:

Slim, you're spot on. Because of this danger I once replied "maybe" to a keen young man I was dancing with... I hadn't quite heard what he'd asked me but didn't want to accidentally agree to anything sexual, nor did I want to appear rude if he was suggesting something like another drink.

Then a few seconds later I re-processed the mumbling and de-coded it. What he had said was "Am I stepping on your feet?". To which, of course, "maybe" was not actually a good answer.

Moral of the story, if you haven't quite heard, then there is no fail-proof hedge. Just say "Sorry, I cannot understand you even when you repeat yourself".

I work with a mumbler. It is really annoying. You have my sympathies.

1. ask him to write it down.

1. Learn to lip read.

1. get a hearing aid and tell him the battery has gone.

Start speaking Italian to him!

Either you'll have a fantastic exchange in mumbled Italian or he'll bugger off and stop mumbling at you as you're foreign.

Or, you could just smile and wave?

BTW, 'right back atcha' pedantry can be deemed as a teensy bit hostile........

Is he compos mentis?

Maybe he's had a stroke or summat?

Is he elderly? I know some elderly people do seem like they're mumbling but sometimes it's because they haven't got any teeth. My Nan was like this.

I once did the nod and smile thing (and feigned interest) when I didn't hear what a man was saying to me. Next minute he tried to kiss me

I now really try to hear and never nod and smile

Is it that he's got a strong accent and you can't understand that or that he may have had a stroke or similar? My FIL had dementia and a stroke; in the latter months we stopped being able even to pull out key words from what he was saying (and we had more chance than we would have done with a stranger) which was hugely frustrating for him. If it's the latter, I'd just be polite and say something non-comittal. If it's the former, why can't you just say that you don't want to appear rude but are having trouble hearing what he's saying and could he speak a bit more slowly (which of course isn't quite accurate but probably a bit less confrontational).

It surprising how S&L issues are still fair game to take the piss out of and it's ok to isolate people who have them, when if it was other disabilities you would be criticised for doing so.

My neighbour has had a stroke and when we first moved in we couldn't understand him at all. We made the effort to stop and chat when we saw him (maybe for three or four minutes twice a week?!), and now we can understand him easily. It really wasn't that hard!

@Birdsgottaf1y Totally agree.