To complain to school about ruined clothing??

[FloatyCat]

DS is in Y7, Non uniform day at school yesterday. DS wore new ish tshirt.
In a lesson a boy reached out and deliberately (according to my DS) drew 2 lines down the front my DS tshirt in board marker. It's not washed out.
DS said asked the boy why he did that, and he was was understandably angry. The boy denied doing anything, smirking. Teacher told my DS off for talking.
I asked DS why he didn't tell teacher what had happened, he says the boy has ADHD and teacher just says 'he can't help it' whenever anything occurs with the boy.
The upshot we have a ruined tshirt which I'm pretty cross about. What is the best way to approach this?

What punishment do you think would eradicate his ADHD?

So individuals with ADHD should be able to get away with everything?

Thanks for the washing tips, I will try again.

What punishment do you think would eradicate his ADHD? - what a stupid comment- I'm not biting.

I work in a school. You should absolutely let them know about it, not because of the ruined t shirt, as such, but because drawing on someone is low level aggressive and intrusive behaviour that needs dealing with. By 'dealing with' I mean, reassurance and apology to,your child, and whatever is appropriate to the other pupil's level of understanding and individual needs.

IMHE parents of children with extra needs are even more eager than most to help their child make friends and and to develop social skills that will positive for them, so they can be happy and settled at school, so they'd want to know about (via the school, not direct from you), and be able to work on it.

I get incredibly annoyed at teachers that give pupils a row when they are reacting to the bad behaviour of other pupils. I once got lines for trying to jump out of the way of another pupil for trying to stamp on my feet just after the head teacher had said we had to queue properly. This was 32 years ago and am still annoyed at that injustice! That school valued obedience to the headmaster over anything else.

Basically your sons teacher is saying when you are being bullied just shut the fuck up cause she doesnt care.

I would go and complain about that and then through in the issue of the damaged clothing for good measure. If the school isnt going to protect your child from this type of behaviour and also blame him from reacting, you need to raise it.

Napisan can often get stains out, or biological liquid directly on the stain. White spirit is an amazing solvent (got bicycle grease off a silk dress for me!), but obviously you don't know if it'll take the colour out.

Something like this is do or die: he can't wear it drawn all over, so it doesn't matter if getting the stain out changes the colour a bit - because otherwise it's going in the bin.

Personally I'd be pissed off and expect the child in question to be told in no uncertain terms that it was unacceptable and some age appropriate punishment.

He may well have ADHD, but plenty of people with ADHD manage not to damage other people's property.

Really annoying. Alcohol removes board marker, I end up covered in it fairly often and a rub with vodka before washing sorts it.

There is some bloody ignorant comments on here.

ADHD is not a free pass to commit assault.

My ds has ASD and cannot contain his impulsiveness at times but there's no way I'd expect others to accept their personal items being damaged due to his disability.

And I'd be on the side of whichever child wasn't listened to and told off unfairly in the case of teacher not listening.

tshirtsuntan You waste Vodka on the washing

"And you perhaps need to stop being cheeky."

And you will do what, exactly, if I don't "stop being cheeky" ?

Simply pointing out that a scrub of Vanish tends to get most stains out of most things would probably save the OP from going into school and making a fuss.

therollingcrone I work on a system of 2 drops of vodka for the washing =2 shots for me

If this is not happening on a regular basis it is not bullying, unkind and needs dealing with, but not bullying. I find pupils and parents are quick to use the word when it's not accurate, belittling real bullying.
I would approach the school for a discussion. At the end of the day you only have one side of the event, it maybe completely accurate, but it may not. The behaviour needs dealing with but without assumptions.

My heart sank when I started reading the first post, until I saw the ages of the children. I was phoned by school on Friday as DS2 did exactly this to a boy in his class! I was mortified. But - he is only 4 years old.

Clearly our school takes this seriously, and I immediately offered to pay for a replacement. I would expect someone to be dealt with by whatever means the school deemed appropriate for doing this - especially if it was a repeated behaviour. If the boy has ADHD, surely the school should be helping him to manage this so that he doesn't piss other kids off and damage things? I know how horrendously overwhelmed teachers are and how little support is available for kids with SN, but they can't just shrug their shoulders and say 'Oh well, he can't help it', surely?

I wouldn't expect school to replace an item unless it had happened before and they hadn't dealt with it though. I wouldn't expect them to tell my child off for complaining about it either though!