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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to ask for only positive stories on switching to formula

82 replies

Changednamesorry · 26/05/2017 21:03

I have to put my baby on a bottle over the next week. he is 4 months. in short I have been told I have a health condition for which I need to start medication ASAP and said medication is not compatible with breast feeding. I fed my first son for over 2 years and I'm sad about it feel awful have searched for everything to see u there's an alternative and there isn't.
please could people share encouraging stories about how the baby will be fine and won't mind?

OP posts:

BlackeyedSusan · 27/05/2017 00:27

teeth.

razor sharp when they emerge.

and the first thing they clamp on is your nipple.

then they learn to breast feed standing on one leg with one arm and one leg in the air... then try to turn over.

if they are lying down they try to turn over the long way round.

about now they get nosy and pop off to peer around leaving your nipple exposed to the world and his wife.

basically there will be a lot less pain and embarrassment.

BeeThirtythree · 27/05/2017 01:02

I had to switch to bottle feeding for same reason. DD was a bit younger than your DC. As pp has put, slept better, gave me even more time with both DC and DH, meant it was easier to get help feeding.

You have done an amazing job with breast feeding both your DC. Think of all the benefits they have received.
Good luck with the change and hope medication works

Upsy1981 · 27/05/2017 03:07

Switched after 11days due to mental rather than physical health. She is a strapping 10 year old, one of the tallest in her class, and doing well academically, didn't need antibiotics until she was 4 and up to now, has only had the usual kiddie illnesses. Its fine, honestly.

TooGood2BeFalse · 27/05/2017 06:20

DS1 - combination fed for the first 6 weeks, but he seemed to treat breast milk as a snack - it NEVER satisfied him fully.Always needed at least a top up.By 7 weeks he was fully FF and was a much more content baby. Took us a while to find the right formula for him as was colicky but don't regret my choice for a minute. He's 5 now and huge for his age.He stands up to my bust already.

DS1 - Was EBF till 9 weeks.It worked really well for the first 5 weeks, then he started to refuse it and became so miserable ..Gave him a bottle one night and he fell asleep in my arms and slept for 6 hours.Never looked back.He's 10 months old now, 10.5 kilos and is a gorgeous, happy little chunk

catsarenice · 27/05/2017 06:33

It seems like a really big deal now but once they're older it really is never discussed again unless talking to someone with a baby! By changing to ff your health gets sorted and baby still gets fed - exactly what needs to happen.

Whatsername17 · 27/05/2017 07:13

Baby will be fine because he's fed and has a mum who loves him. My dd is 18 weeks and we began combination feeding at 12 weeks. She still bfs at night but has formula in the day. My supply dipped and feeding became a battle where she would get frustrated. I spent so long feeding and trying to feed that my elder daughter told her dad she didn't feel like she had a mummy anymore. I started with a bottle a day and gradually dd2 demanded more and more from the bottle rather than the boob. It was the right decision for us and I've noticed no difference in her health or temperament. The only difference is feeding is easier and dd1 and I get to do things together.

CigarsofthePharoahs · 27/05/2017 07:27

My eldest was on formula from 6 weeks.
My youngest ebf, and then kept going till 11months.
Can you guess which of my children slept very well and wasn't ill at all until over a year old?
My eldest. I thought I was actually doing something wrong, he didn't even have a fever till past 1. All my friends with similar aged children had had at least one hospital dash with an ill baby!
He did get very fat though! Lovely chubby little chap.
Skinny as a rake now, and as has been said above, you'd never know which was which!

affectionincoldclimate · 27/05/2017 07:29

I combo feed DD (8 weeks) as my supply wasn't enough and through my midwives having an extremely militant approach to BFing (the only way) paired with giving me minimal actual support to BF effectively ("put her on the boob" was the only coaching I got despite it being clear my supply was not sufficient as she screamed for 3 days non stop), DD ended up in hospital severely dehydrated with weight loss of 15% after 3 days. It was terrifying and FF was genuinely a life saver. Now BF and top up with formula. She loves both. FF top ups mean that she sleeps better, her Dad and others can feed her and she's gaining in weight and size nicely and I am still BFing rather than abandoning it completely. Also, we use ready made formula which is pricey but worth in my view as it saves the hassle of mixing powder and prep.

BusMum79 · 27/05/2017 07:36

I am on very strong meds for inflammatory bowel disease. I ebf my first son for 12 weeks on medical advice but I really, really struggled. The milk was thin, he vomited a LOT and, as my drugs are immunosuppressants, I ended up being rushed to hospital with severe mastitis. At that point, I switched to formula. I honestly feel it changed my experience of motherhood. He started gaining weight steadily, he slept a little better (still a dreadful sleeper, mind!) and I relaxed. Feeding was no longer this huge stress, massive ordeal for us all. I have my second son colostrum and switched to formula on day three. Breastfeeding is obviously a marvellous thing if you can do it and it's all working out: for me, formula was the game-changer. Nothing - and I mean NOTHING - to feel bad about. Good luck x

BusMum79 · 27/05/2017 07:38

*gave, not have.

Also, my DH did a few of the evening, night feeds for DS2 in the newborn days and I found it easier to spend a little one to one time with DS1 (who was just 2 and struggling with the new arrival!) as a result.

Lostwithinthehills · 27/05/2017 08:05

I discovered I couldn't feed my dd post birth so I had to switch to ff immediately. It left me feeling very sad, a failure and as though I was being judged when I got a bottle out in a public place. However, feeding time was still a very intimate time for us, with my dd always cradled in my arms and I don't believe it had any impact on our bonding. My dd was always a content baby who has no allergies or other health issues. She is growing up tall, slim, sporty and described as clever by her teachers.

Gileswithachainsaw · 27/05/2017 08:10

Switched at 3 weeks.

I could get up off the sofa. Our the baby down.

Eat.

No more feeding for two hour/three hours and having to give a full bottle of formula.

No worrying where the milk was cos no really don't think i had much

Babybthribed smiled was happens slept and I never looked back.

You can do so many other things for your baby that one method of feeding is not the only thing that defines what kind of parent you are.

MrTurtleLikesKisses · 27/05/2017 08:23

I had to switch DS to formula when he was about 9 months. I felt awful, really really didn't want to do it.
He took to bottles exceptionally well and still has one morning/naptime/bedtime at 2.5.
Try not to worry and definitely don't let yourself feel guilty AT ALL! The only thing I would suggest is a vitamin D supplement from 6 months as I don't believe there's enough in formula and I've always given it separately.

Grimbles · 27/05/2017 08:30

I bottle fed from about 3 weeks - those first 3 weeks were hell, DS wouldn't latch, I would literally be sitting there for 3-4 hours at a time trying to get him to feed and he would just scream constantly. I knew something wasn't right but kept being told by the breastfeeding nazi health visitor to keep trying.

Anyway, one night I just cracked, drove to tesco at 3am and brought a few cartons of pre-made milk. He guzzled it down, fell asleep and peace reigned across the land. From then I expressed as much as I could (not much tbh) and combined with formula feeds.

When I went for my 6 week check-up I mentioned it to the doctor who took a look at DS and asked if I knew he had a tongue-tie which looked quite severe and was probably what was stopping him from being able to bf. He was quite shocked that it had been missed as apparently it's quite easy to snip at birth but now I would have to wait for a referral which could mean he would be a few months old and then they may not do it.

Long story short is fed is best and don't let anyone make you feel a failure for not being able, or even wanting, to bf.

windmillasaurus · 27/05/2017 08:44

With my first I had to return to work when he was 3 months old, I had exclusively breast fed up to this point and had great hopes of being able to express vast quantities of breast milk whilst working. This didn't happen. He was a milk guzzler and I couldn't keep up with his demands so we switched to formula. Second child, had a year off and again exclusively breast fed. Didn't do formula as I was too lazy to do all the sterilising!! I look at them both and I see no difference. I really wouldn't worry about this. I would say it's more important that you are getting the medication you need to be healthy.

CaveMum · 27/05/2017 09:10

I needed to find this thread so much. I stopped BFing 5 week old DS a few days ago and have been feeling so guilty ever since.

I've got a DD (3) who I managed to feed to 8 weeks but had to stop due to a breast abscess and low supply issues. I was a mess then, honestly thought I was on the verge of PND, because feeding was so hard and I dreaded every feed due to cracked nipples and DD's screaming (because she wasn't getting enough). Then she started to lose weight and I felt an utter failure. Switching to formula saved my sanity but I still feel guilty now.

I've switched this time because DS was feeding constantly and I couldn't get off the sofa to play/interact with DD. His weight gain has also been slow despite all the feeding. I know I've found thr right thing for all of us by switching to formula but I still have "the guilt" and have spent a large part of the last few days in tears.

LRDtheFeministDragon · 27/05/2017 09:36

We mix feed. DD was on formula from the second day of her life, mostly through a tube, and she's always had some formula and some breast milk.

Being able to give her a bottle, and let DP get some sleep or go out, is just brilliant. I think it hugely outweighs the possible negatives, TBH.

Plus, it's actually very nice feeding a baby whose entire face you can see smiling at you.

BeesOnTheWing · 27/05/2017 09:44

My first went into formula at 4 months, my second at about 3 weeks. Two fine healthy children with no allergies or other issues.

The first would never take a dummy and also by extension refused a test, so we used Avent soft spouts. They do now say from 6 months though.

I felt noticeably less tired which was a bonus from it.

kaytee87 · 27/05/2017 09:46

I switched about 3 months and he is a perfectly healthy and happy baby. People often comment on how happy he is. He's hardly ever ill.
Plus sides for you, you'll get your body back and might be able to get a full nights sleep every now and then.
It's ok to mourn the loss of the breastfeeding relationship, have a cry even but formula is perfectly healthy baby food so please realise that.
I'm sorry you're not well op.

BeesOnTheWing · 27/05/2017 10:02

Should read " refused a teat"!

mrsdementor · 27/05/2017 10:35

Please, please don't feel bad. I had to give up breastfeeding DS1 when he was 3 1/2 months but I felt just awful about it. He was a terrible feeder and even my breastfeeding counsellor couldn't help. He was positively scrawny and I was beside myself worrying as he slipped down the weight centiles. I felt like a failure.

After a week of formula feeding I returned to my baby group with a happy chubby baby and he thrived. He was the easiest baby I've ever known (would've had 4 if DS2 was that easy!).

He lost the chubbiness as soon as he started to walk and was always healthy, happy and bright. He's all grown up and at uni now and is a delight.

Be kind to yourself x

coconutpie · 27/05/2017 10:43

Are you sure your medication is not compatible with breastfeeding? Too often mothers are told that the medication isn't compatible yet it actually is - check LactMed or the breastfeeding network for their drug factsheets. Sorry to hear you are unwell

Pumperthepumper · 27/05/2017 11:55

I had to put my son on formula at six weeks and he was like a totally different baby. Relaxed, contented and happy rather than screaming morning and night. I think I'll always feel guilty for not doing it sooner. He's three now and totally perfect in every way haha!

Talith · 27/05/2017 12:10

Mine both converted at 4 months and it was a piece of cake. You get in a routine with the bottles in no time.

DeliciouslyHella · 27/05/2017 12:24

I switched DD over at 5 weeks and honestly, I wish I had done it sooner. No matter who I saw, which hold I used, how many latching techniques I tried - breast feeding from my right boob hurt like hell and DD was regularly getting covered in blood. Eventually, I developed PND as I couldn't 'feed through the pain' like I was told to.

DD took to formula like a duck to water. She is a healthy, happy child. Am expecting DD2 now and I think that I will FF after a few days.

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