Cant stop emotionally cheating

[Needakicking]

I really need a kicking, I can't stop emotionally cheating. I haven't been faithful to anybody I've been with and to be honest I don't know how to be. I'm also 3 months post partum but not using that as an excuse but I'm so just confused and I don't know how to stop. I get a thrill. I need help don't I?

Who are you 'emotionally cheating' with?

A guy I've known for a few years and a guy who lives in my home town.
I have a boyfriend of a year. We have a kid together and I have a 3 year old.
The guy who I had my first child with, I cheated on 3 times. With this guy it's only emotionally, like I've been messaging the two guys and we talk of meeting up, having a baby etc. Basically the pipe line dream. I fear my boyfriend may have gone through my phone and seen these conversations though and I know I need it to end

Watching this thread with interest

You're clearly not happy, so i think you need to do your OH a favour and end it, and seek counselling to establish why you do this

If your boyfriend has gone through your phone, ending the cheating may not be an option. You can only cheat if you have a relationship.

I don't want this to turn into a bun fight or get it shut down I really am looking for sensible advice

You're talking about having a baby with these Other men?
Grow up and look after the children you've already got.

You are talking about having a baby with someone while only having someone else's 3 months ago?!

The memory of labour can't have left you already ffs.

Seriously though

Of course I look after the children I've already got, but in talking to other people I get something that I don't get from my partner

So split up with him then.

You can talk to people without cheating with them you know?!
If you can't get what you need from your partner then end it and be on your own until you find someone who gives you what you need.

Let your boyfriend go so he can find someone who actually loves him, and then be single until you've grown up a lot.

And FWIW i hope you're boyfriend has found the messages