To feel guilty for paying so little?

[ishouldfeelsoluckyinlove]

Hi,

To start the story off, DD has dyspraxia and has taken numerous 1:1 swimming lessons. Some of the instructors she has had in the past haven't been quite good, some didn't have the experience of working with a child with Dyspraxia and many other reasons. However, my DD really enjoys swimming and really wanted to keep at it.

We were recommended a lewisite centre via a friend and the staff there recommended an instructor who is able to do 1:1 and has experienced working with children with Dyspraxia.
Due to this knowledge, the centre informed me that they give 1:1 swimming lessons discounts to children with SEN. I assumed it would be a few quid off but they informed me that each session would cost £6.00 ! .

Moving along, DD had her first lesson with the instructor and the instructor was very very good. At the end of the lesson, I handed my proof of purchase to the swimming instructor and he looked shocked when he saw the receipt.

I now feel really guilty, I'm worried if so little pay would have a big impact on how much the instructor is getting paid. I actually don't mind paying the full rate, I would rather pay for something expensive for something which I know is going to be good ifyswim ?

AIBU ?

Well if the lessons are 30 minutes long he gets £10 per hour, that's ok isn't it? More than NMW and presumably he is happy with his salary or would retrain etc.

£30 for a 30 minute lesson??????

He won't get less because you pay less. It will be subsidised because it is council run. His shock would have been at the price you paid. £10ph is less for a swimming instructor that they get near me but above minimum wage it's not a great wage though is it? I wouldn't pay extra to the centre he won't see that but i don't see any harm in maybe giving him a present or tip at the end of term. If you are worried about it being money could it be vouchers?

How old is the instructor? NMW changes as you get older I think, so if he is young, £5ph could be well within the rate for his age.
I imagine there a quite a lot of hidden fees involved in having a SEN child, extra appointments meaning time off work/travel costs to meetings/parking costs etc. Take the discounted lessons and use the difference in other ways to help your child (which you probably already do, but so you aren't financially losing out each time).

He won't get less because you pay less. It will be subsidised because it is council run.

Sent too soon! Anyway that's the key point. He will get the same amount.

I had a personal trainer at a council run gym for a time. He got paid minimum wage then a percentage of his PT clients on top of that. I think
It was 40%, from memory.

Why don't you ask him? I would if I was worried he was getting a shit deal.

NMW changes as you get older I think, so if he is young, £5ph could be well within the rate for his age. not unless he's under 18 as he's clearly not in an apprentice role.

Maybe he's got a target for how much £ he brings in or something? So it's not that he's paid less an hour but he would need to do more lessons.

Or he might just have not known.

Make a donation to the centre and give him a small gift at the end of a block/every 5 or 6 lessons if you're uncomfortable.

It is very rare, in my experience, that you are offered discounts for SN. Usually I jump through hoops and have to provide proof etc etc.

He may not know of the subsided scheme and may have been surprised by it but as a council run leisure centre he will not receive a different amount.

You seem almost apologetic for receiving this benefit. Please don't be. The subsidies are disappearing all around us, the concessions changing. Grab it with both hands. Life is much harder and more expensive having a kid with SN. You should not feel guilt accepting help. I have had to buy two sets of uniform and countless pairs of shoes because dc can't cope with the feel of clothes and shoes. His socks cost 4 times the price of mine. They don't have seams. (And are so lovely and comfortable to wear)

Don't over think this. You don't need to tip him for every lesson. I think that sets a worrying precedent- parents of SN children should be so grateful and reward anything offered. I used to give the swimming teacher - a teenager who was really patient with my dc) £20 in a card at Christmas to say thank you. He was thrilled.

I had a comment once from someone. I can't remember where I was or what it was for, but when I showed the man the proof of purchase, he was a little incredulous and made a comment of me getting a 'good deal'. It wasn't a supportive comment. I asked him if he would like to swop places with my son and fixed him with a steely glare? (He wasn't in earshot) He was fucking rude and did not grasp any of the realities of having SN.