To want to cry? My life is a joke

[user1490817986]

I just want to cry, really. I just got rejected from a potential friendship that I thought was meant to be after being friendless for so long. I have ASD and wasn't diagnosed until 17 so really struggled at school with mh issues, fitting in, and 4 overdoses. I became agoraphobic at 13 until 24ish and I've joined groups where i've made friends, but they are all about 30 years older than me.

I have been seeing a mentor for the past few months, we are close in age, she also has mh issues and we get on really well. Mentor takes me places on the bus as I'm always getting lost when travelling alone. I just mentioned to my mentor that it would be nice to stay and touch and be friends after I no longer need mentoring and she basically said she couldn't because of the charity policies.

I'm really really hurt and upset. I just want 1 friend close to my age (27) to go to the cinema with, to do fun things with. It makes me so sad when out and about to see women my age with their babies and husbands, I know that won't happen for me because of my ASD and mental health.

I have my cat, but i can't talk to him about stuff, I can't take him to the cinema or go for ice cream.

I just feel deflated and have cried on the bus on the way home. I just wish life would be a bit kinder to me and stop hurting me and punishing me

What about volunteering at a local park? Or visitor centre? Do you live near a beach?

Actually you'd be very useful helping with an autistic service.

Hi. Volunteer for something outdoors. The local library usually has notices up and our 'help shop' has volunteer agancies. Look, my son is now working in his second job. He's been in work since he was 19. He's been supported in this by the amazing people at Employability (i think it's called something else now)., his support worker goes with him to interviews and with him on the first few days of work, she works with the employers to get them to see the difficulties and sort of smooths the path. However, to access this we had to have s social services assessment and that paid for his PA, a driving assess,ent at QEC and this. I really recommend that if you are not on SS radar you get on it because you are disabled as in you find it difficult to access that which is everyday things for Peers.

I think you have to decide what you can cope with and go for that level. My son is a very good cook, has a natural affinity for baking and kitchens but decided that catering and cheffing wasn't for him because it is too fast paced and stress inducing. If sensory overload is not great for you then pick something where that overload is lessened but to me it does sound like you are going to have to initiate some of this. I know that is really hard and this is where my son struggles as he has very low levels of initiation unless it is something with which he is comfortable.

Good luck. People who happen to have autism as well are of huge benefit to everyone. You have many talents and abilities and need to find your niche where you can show those. Remember, everyone has to put up with 'something'. I am quite noise phobic and hate busy places, have to have down time just for me to decompress - guess where my son got the A gene from! But you find things that take the pressure away and you learn to live with the level of pressure that you can take. My son has high anxiety so he has what looks like a low pressure job (but he has to do it well) on minimum wage but it suits him and he meets people and isn't so lonely.

How are you OP?

Absolutely do not take it so hard. There must be some clubs in your area. I met a friend at a slimming group for instance and she in turn took me along to her local book club and I am friends with them all now. Of course you may not need a slimming club (and I have noticed when I go again that it gets a bit cliquey).

I am not at all religious but I have some friends who belong to a 'solo' group most of them met at church but they are mainly widowed and divorced. No religion involved though for me (although we do sometimes visit chursches on days out!).

Maybe scout around on facebook/google local groups. There may be some specialising in autism, you never know. Maybe place an ad yourself?