To not give a gift for family members wedding anniversaries?

[GimbleInTheWabe]

I was out with my DM and DSis yesterday and whilst DM popped to the loo DSis said 'just thought I'd remind you that is it DM and DFs wedding anniversary on Friday, I've texted other 2 siblings to remind them too.' I was a bit because I wasn't sure what she expected from me. It's not a milestone anniversary and I've never given them a card/gift before.
Anyway I saw DM today and she said 'It's our wedding anniversary tomorrow and your two DSis' are taking us out to dinner.' I said that it sounded lovely (fyi I live far away so wouldn't have been involved in the planning or expected to go) but I now wonder if they're expecting something from me. I remember when it was my eldest Dsis' wedding anniversary my other DSis mentioned something about giving them a gift.

So! AIBU to not give a gift for a family members wedding anniversary? Is this a thing I'm supposed to do and didn't realise? If I'm honest I don't really see the point. It's not my husband/wife and I wouldn't expect it if I was married. If it was a milestone anniv I probably would but every year?!

FWIW I always send my DM flowers and a card on mothers day and always try and give her a thoughtful gift for her birthday and Christmas. Also I am not married as DP and I have no interest in getting married, but I have no problem with people who do choose to wed.

I am so glad the consensus is that this is OTT.

SIL is organising a massive, formal party for PIL's 40th anniversary. She keeps ringing DH to discuss menu choices and seating plans, and each time she gets offended when he tells her that he doesn't give a monkey's, and can she please just let him know what his share of the bill will be. He was originally just planning to pop round with flowers and a card.

I wondered if DH and I were strange/unfeeling, so am glad to hear otherwise .

I think they are things that you celebrate as a couple, unless its a biggie.

We get given cards on our anniversary, it's lovely but I always find it a bit strange that people remember.

Yes... I've only ever had one card once and did think... oh hell, do I have to remember yours now.

I didn't BTW!

YANBU

DBro and I sort of tacitly acknowledge DMum and DDad's anniversary, ask them if they've got plans and stuff. Other than that, it's between them.
It's a bit weird when people want to get all up in that.

maybe it's been going on without me knowing whilst I was still studying and generally being poor so not expected to join in

ahbthat would make sense!

I buy my parents a card and flowers every year for their anniversary, and for milestones ones usually vouchers for a restaurant. I also give my cousin and his wife (who I was bridesmaid for) a card every year for theirs. Didn't realise this was so unusual

Everyone does it differently. Our family is big on anniversaries, we always buy gifts and a card. Other people we know barely even notice the date and aren't bothered about it. Each to their own.

I agree that it's each to their own. I think it must either be something your family 'does' or not. However I certainly won't be starting now as I don't really want the added expense and I don't feel like it's my event to celebrate.

Only ever bought for silver or golden anniversaries. Couldn't even tell you the date of DB's wedding anniversary.

We did gifts for my grandparents' 40th, when we all got together for surprise party. That was 30 years ago and nobody has had an anniversary gift since!

I'm actually sick of buying adults gifts for all the many celebrations we seem to mark.

Yanbu.

Does she do something every year? I would probably do something for big ones like silver or golden but that's it.

As myself and dh only have single parents due to the others dying when we were young, we've never had to really think about this.

Our respective parents sent us a card on our first anniversary but I think that's it.

Oh and MIL offers to babysit every year on our anniversary but we've never taken her up on it. We prefer to have a home cooked meal, glass of wine and an early night 😉

Nice of her to think of it though.

I don't for my family either, but I have two friends from different friendship circles who both have sent me cards on my anniversary which has been awkward as I never remember to do the same for them!

Think I might be a bit of a statistical outlier here, I give cards for the first anniversary of everyone's weddings we go to/invited to, then nothing after that, except for siblings we give cards (no presents) each year, for parents it's a card & token bottle of wine - can't wait for the 'big anniversaries' for one set as they've not been married very long but it's still a nice way (IMO) to say we're glad that they're in our lives but then again I do love giving

I buy a card and something small for my parents anniversary because I wouldn't be here if they hadn't got together. Likewise for in-laws because I wouldn't have DH without them getting together.

I don't acknowledge my own anniversary though, it's not really important to us.