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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To basically ask no one to speak to me at work today?

34 replies

VelvetSpoon · 25/05/2017 08:13

Because I am so on edge it feels like one more thing will tip me over the brink..

In the past fortnight, my bf has suffered a bereavement. I can't go into the circumstances but it has been very traumatic. He is in a terrible state and I am trying to urge him to go to his GP because I am so worried about his MH. His family are 100s of miles away and he has no close friends so it's all down to me.

As well as this I have a DC going through GCSES who needs a lot of my time, and another DC who is currently doing job interviews and struggling, so ditto. Oh and my car's now off the road possibly for good so I have no transport, and my journey to work is trebled as a result...

And then there's work. I've been out of my 'home' office this week travelling to other offices. I have a work phone but it has limited functionality and can only do email. So I have the joy of seeing emails piling in from various people either chasing me for stuff or giving me additional tasks to do.

I know when I get in today (traffic on the bus route is horrendous so even though I set off at 7.30 I won't be in before 9) that I will get instantly bombarded with people demanding this that and the other. And in my current frame of mind. I am very likely to tell them to fuck off.

So wibu to ask people just not to say anything to me? I'll go in and do what I can, but I can't deal with anyone's shit today.

OP posts:
Boulshired · 25/05/2017 09:25

I would probably (if I wanted to keep things private) say I had a bad headache and whilst I felt able to work could I please be left alone and not disturbed for the rest of the day.

Original poster
VelvetSpoon · 25/05/2017 09:25

He is a long term bf of over 3 years. We plan to live together in future, as far as we both are concerned it's a relationship for life (we won't be getting married, my choice) but I suspect if we were, or I referred to him as my partner you wouldn't be questioning why I'm concerned about him.

I can try and delegate, but DC doing GCSES is at school till 4 daily (no study leave) and other DC has all day assessment type interviews today and tomorrow. Plus no shops really in walking distance, and of course no car which means i cant sen them to shop for me, and that i have another 1-1.5 hour slog home from work later.

However I have put on my out of office with a suitable msg, and gradually clearing stuff. Have said to a couple of colleagues who know some of what's going on that I'm at a low ebb today and can't be dealing with nonsense from others. So far, so good.

OP posts:
HelsinkiLights · 25/05/2017 09:25

YANBU
Open plan offices can be the pits when you really need to get on with things.
I would suggest finding the quietest corner you can or try & get a meeting room.
Send an email to colleagues (like pps have suggested) about having a great amount of work to get through & you do not want disturbing unless it's extremely urgent.
A previous boss of mine would also put do not disturb signs on her desk in similar situations (I've borrowed them myself a few times.)

gandalf456 · 25/05/2017 09:33

I know exactly what you mean but I think if you feel that bad, you really need to be at home Flowers

StrangeLookingParasite · 25/05/2017 11:36

Open plan so no escape, and very informal

I'd like to find the person who pushed the idea of open-plan offices and kick them in the bum until their teeth rattle. They're bloody horrible.

Remember to drop your shoulders and breathe ('smell the flower, blow out the candle', which sounds both ridiculous and twee, but has got me through some horrible bouts of both stress and nausea). Hope things improve soon.

Original poster
VelvetSpoon · 25/05/2017 12:26

Thanks everyone.

Would I actually have said fuck off? No of course not, though I'd have been saying it in my head and my face probably would have said it for me...

Feeling much calmer now. I've escaped all queries today so far, got a lot done and a big meeting involving travel tomorrow is now cancelled so that is a massive relief. Feel like I can breathe now.

Still leaving my out of office/ don't disturb msg on for rest of the day though.

OP posts:
puddingpen · 25/05/2017 12:45

I cannot believe some of the responses on here. I am fortunate enough to work in a very understanding workplace and we would never be unsympathetic to a colleague in those circumstances. It's a shame questions are coming at you from all angles and you don't have a line manager you can go to. I agree with the rehearsed script. You can only do what you can do.

DeadGood · 25/05/2017 13:10

So pleased your day wasn't as bad as you feared. Hang in there x

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 25/05/2017 18:46

Glad your day has been ok. Friday tomorrow!

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