Is DH being an arse or am I just oversensitive?

[AnArrowToTheKnee]

Apologies in advance, this might be long.

I don't do well in the heat. I've been having trouble sleeping, I'm so tired I can hardly keep my eyes open. DH, however, has not only manages to sleep well at night, he also falls asleep on the sofa in the evening - this has nothing to do with how tired he is, he just finds a comfy spot and will doze off.

On top of that, I had the kids on my own from Friday to Tuesday because he was on a stag do. He actually came back on Monday, but spent all of Tuesday sleeping it off on the sofa. I don't sleep well when I'm the only adult in the house either, so I've been losing sleep since Friday night. I am bloody exhausted.

So DH is working a later shift today - doesn't have to leave the house until 11AM. I asked him to take DS1 to school because I'm so tired, and his response was that he was tired too. I get that he probably didn't sleep well while he was away, but I'm still not sleeping much and I didn't get to spend an entire day asleep to catch up. I'm so shattered I feel like crying, and he's still asleep upstairs. DS2 (6 months) has been going through a clingy stage so I don't even get to rest during the day.

I'm sick of this. I'm sick of his tiredness being more important than mine. He's actually awake, he's just told me he'll do the school run tomorrow, but that doesn't help me today. He doesn't even sound tired,he sounds like he's had a good night's sleep. I'm bloody exhausted and I ache all over and I feel like shit, but he just says "me too" and apparantly that trumps my problems.

AIBU to just want a decent amount of sleep, and for DH to get his arse out of bed so I can catch up?

Sorry, I was focussing more on the attitude of 'his tiredness trumps yours' because he goes out to work. I muddled the two posts, I do realise driving when tired is dangerous but my point still stands that if someone goes out to work, in the main, they get scheduled breaks and a definite chance to switch off and wind down on the journey home which you don't as a sahm. However It obviously depends on the job and there are always exceptions to the rule. Decent couples will work through it together as you and your partner did.

He's up now, dressed and sorting out the baby. It's not the same as getting some sleep, but at least I can sit down for a little while.

I know I'm just cross with him because I'm tired, he's not a bad person and he doesn't do it on purpose, but he does have an over inflated sense of what he does compared to me. He tends to minimise my work while exaggerating his. He's at work all day, yes, but he's also told me his job is really not that hard - plus he gets an hour lunch break, doesn't have people grabbing at him all day and can go to the toilet whenever he wants. He has to commute on the train, but he reads while he's doing that. And as for housework - he'll run the hoover round and clean the bathroom, but I do literally everything else. And the hoover is only because DS2 is scared of it and clings to me when it's on.

Now it's unlikely that without a break in my day as a sahp I would be a danger to myself and others
Dunno about that. I did all the night feeds and waking with both my kids, along with housework etc as a sahp. I was once so tired I stepped off the pavement into the path of an oncoming car, while pushing dd in the pushchair. Luckily the car wasn't going fast, noone was hurt, but I would never underestimate the effects of sleep deprivation, which isn't self induced for OP, unlike dh staying out socialising.

He is being selfish but then you're not being entirely reasonable either

Would you sleep better with a fan or opening windows? It is warm but it's not ridiculously hot. Why can't you sleep without him in the house? Maybe you should see if you can talk to someone if it's anxiety related.

I do think he could help you but also you can help yourself