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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Dh working away

4 replies

Ceebies · 24/05/2017 23:37

First time post, so go easy!

My dh & I have 3 dc (we have 1 dd together), the other 2 are from his previous relationship and live with us FT.

My dh works away a lot. I also work FT in a busy, stressful job. I organise everything and everyone - sort out for school, do all cooking, cleaning, ironing, shopping, make sure all the bills are paid, research car/home insurance, mortgage deals, plan trips, etc. etc.

When dh is at home, whilst he will help out, he does spend a lot of time dozing because of the hours he has put in when he was away, or he will maybe take 1 of the dc out for a "treat". Aibu to think that when he is at home he should be doing a lot more to help me? (Or take all 3 out so I can get a break??) Or am I being to harsh?

OP posts:
Astro55 · 24/05/2017 23:39

Nope not harsh

You should share the job/childcare and free time equally

Time to talk

Astro55 · 24/05/2017 23:41

IF he refuses to help - then you put forward hypothetically 'what would you do if I wasn't here?

How would you manage childcare and shopping etc? How would do the washing?

OR ask him to pay for the ironing to be done or a cleaner twice a week

Ceebies · 24/05/2017 23:54

He will help if I ask him, its just all the thinking that exhausts me. I got him to read this today which sums up how am I feeling pretty well www.google.co.uk/amp/amp.timeinc.net/time/money/4561314/women-work-home-gender-gap/%3Fsource%3Ddam

OP posts:
5foot5 · 24/05/2017 23:59

"When dh is at home, whilst he will help out,"....

"Aibu to think that when he is at home he should be doing a lot more to help me?"

Why do you say "help" you? This implies it is really your job and if he does anything around the house he is helping you with your job.

That's bollocks. You both work FT so all these jobs should be shared. Stop referring to it as him helping and say it like it is, pulling hs weight and doing his fair share of the work.

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