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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask for a refund for a school trip?

63 replies

libertyboy · 24/05/2017 22:48

I have paid £130 for a two night school trip for my year 5 son.
He's had some problems with behaviour this year and last week was excluded for a day as he got angry with a teacher and kicked a chair. They said he couldn't go on the trip either which started today. I also said he couldn't go as the behaviour is at home too. It's been a week since the exclusion and nothing has been mentioned about a refund by me or the school as we have obviously been concentrating on tackling the problems he is having.
Do I ask about it? What's the etiquette?

OP posts:
Original poster
libertyboy · 24/05/2017 23:42

No I'd definitely accept their decision and it's a fair one if they say no. There was just that niggle that if I could get it back I'd obviously take it but didn't know how it works.

Thanks for the mixed bag of opinions!
I make a point of saying they haven't done much to help so far as all I hear from anyone I have spoken to about it (professionals, independent family and children's centres, friends) is 'how is the school helping?' 'Speak to the school' 'we've sent the school questionnaires to fill out' so they're well aware.

OP posts:
melj1213 · 25/05/2017 00:36

I'm going to go against the grain a bit here - you say your DS's behavioural issues are a long standing issue so the school were well aware of things before the trip was organised.

In this case, I think they should have made it clear when you signed DS up for the trip that his place was dependant on his behaviour and if he was excluded, you would not be refunded. That way you could make the informed decision as to whether to risk the money.

It would be one thing if you chose not to send him, because you are choosing to lose the money, but the school have taken the decision out of your hands and banned him from the trip, knowing you have paid for it. I know the school will have paid for all the places etc but the OP paid for her child to attend, she didn't pay to subsidise everyone else. If she had been told at the time of booking then she could have chosen not to send her DS and then either another child could have had the place or everyone else would have been charged a bit more.

Also I'd want to know what process they went through - was it made clear that your son could be potentially excluded from the trip as a consequence of his behaviour with a chance for him to still go? Again, if there had been a progression of other consequences and this was the final straw, it would be understandable, but if there was no warning then YANBU to want them to reimburse some money.

FlapAttack88 · 25/05/2017 01:22

I agree with melj since the 2nd poat with more info on behaviour ... they should have made a plan for it and maybe agreed ti come ti a decision 2 weeks before trip or sonething ti allow time for someone else to take the place so you could be refunded

Definitely worth asking and if thynsay no then express your concern that du to the known nature of behaviour etc it would have been good ti have a more formal plan in place with refund or no refund agreement made very clear . My school does this and we aim to refund where we can . The exception would be a last minute bad behaviour incident Whixh is what I thought you were saying this was

It's a lot of money

Toysaurus · 25/05/2017 06:35

I would ask for a refund. The school knew your son had behavioural difficulties and needs extra support. They've excluded him on that basis and set him up to fail with regards to the school trip. Infact, considering that ODD has been mentioned, I would be interested in seeing the school's risk assessment for your child for both day to day schooling and the trip you paid for but they excluded him from.

jarhead123 · 25/05/2017 06:54

You could try your luck and ask, but don't think you'll get far.

It's your sons fault and no one elses, so why would school refund? Thats just my opinion

exLtEveDallas · 25/05/2017 06:54

You wouldn't get a refund from our school unless we could persuade the parents of the other children attending to pay more to cover your DC's place. As harsh as that sounds, that is the reality for many (if not all) schools these days - there just isn't any 'spare' money to cover extras like this. Our 6 year residential is only going ahead because the students have fundraised themselves, doing non/uniform, cake sales and Tesco bag packs to cover the cost of the coaches and teacher cover - how ridiculous is that?

NormaSmuff · 25/05/2017 07:06

what an expensive trip!
will they definitely exclude him?
i think you should ask for a refund.

NormaSmuff · 25/05/2017 07:08

i dont see why other parents will be out of pocket? the price is the price regardless of who goes. therefore a refund should be forthcoming.

NapQueen · 25/05/2017 07:11

How old is he? You could always dock his pocket money until the 150 has been recouped. Might make him think next time.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/05/2017 07:14

Norma

The price is always approximate and fixed once the numbers and plans are firmed up. Op has paid a deposit and now the full cost of the trip. So no, the price is not the price regardless of who attends.

ExConstance · 25/05/2017 07:15

You might get a refund if the trip was over subscribed and another child could go instead, if you don't ask you won't get.

RainbowsAndUnicorn · 25/05/2017 07:16

I don't think they will refund either, they have sanctioned him for bad behaviour and have likely already paid for his place.

With no diagnosis, so no extra funding, the school can only do so much. The majority of help should come from the parents.

NormaSmuff · 25/05/2017 07:18

i dont believe that.
the price is quoted. i have never experienced the price going up or down dependent on the amount who go

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 25/05/2017 07:21

Norma - seriously?! School trips are priced by dividing the cost of the trip between the number of students going. If one student doesn't go and his parents demand a refund, the school can't just magic up the money. The coach is a fixed price, regardless of whether it has one or sixty kids on board; the residential centre will have charged based on the number of kids going...

TheOnlyLivingBoyInNewCross · 25/05/2017 07:23

Hold on, Norma - you are talking based on your years of experience organising school trips, aren't you?

NormaSmuff · 25/05/2017 07:24

unless it is a compulsory trip?
if the trip is offered to students it is offered at X price, and that price does not vary.
there must be leeway for those who cannot afford it/dont want to go. thereby there must be leeway for the excluded boy.

NormaSmuff · 25/05/2017 07:25

i am talking based on my experience as a parent, i receive letters saying this trip is planned and this is the price. Here is how you pay.
never a tentative request saying the cost varies, we will let you know how much when we know how many are going

Whosthemummynow · 25/05/2017 07:28

Is it relevant that you consider the school hasn't done much to help his anger issues, op? What help would you expect them to provide

What help does she expect them to provide?! Are you serious?! Her child has suspected SEN, I would expect the school to come up with some kind of plan to help him on class!
Zones of regulation springs to mind
Tools to help him identify when he's about to explode with. Anger and techniques to help calm down.
Maybe a fidget toy if class is overwhelming.
I could go on.

Some people.....

slkk · 25/05/2017 07:40

No Norma, our pgl trip first letter told parents it would be between 150 and 170 depending on the number of children who took up a place. The price was settled after all deposits collected.

slkk · 25/05/2017 07:41

Day trips are different

TestTubeTeen · 25/05/2017 07:53

I would have expected the school to discuss and implement some sort of behaviour management plan, in liaison with the SENCO.

I would have expected a discussion at booking stage about how he would need to control his behaviour, and possibly use the trip as a carrot.

I would expect all parents to be given an agreement letter setting out procedure for no shows, including behaviour, and that it would say no refund for behaviour issues.

Sorry you are having to deal with this.

Look up all the schools behaviour and Inclusion / SEN policies, and ask for a meeting with the SENCO. Tell them that the other professionals have asked how the school are helping, so you would like to be able to discuss that!

RainbowPastel · 25/05/2017 07:58

At primary and secondary school all our letters say that if a child is excluded from a trip for bad behaviour then you forfeit your money.

Floggingmolly · 25/05/2017 08:02

Whosethemummynow. The op says her son has seen a specialist who didn't diagnose, unless you know him better??
Always a member of the "but he has special needs " brigade waiting in the wings...

OneInEight · 25/05/2017 08:04

I do think it makes a difference if there were known issues and SEN. We were refunded money for a day trip when the ds's could not go due to concerns about their behaviour although obviously this was a lot less than a residential. If issues were known support should have been put in place so this scenario could have been avoided.

IfYouGoDownToTheWoodsToday · 25/05/2017 08:10

Why the heck are 5 year olds going away for 2 nights?Confused

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