To think this is a bit rude

37 replies

TenYearsLater · 23/05/2017 20:52

My DH works in a sector where he can access free tickets for a certain type of event. So the school ask for freebies for any fund raising event they do to help with the uptake of the raffle. All fine, no problem helping the school out & making a donation of tickets.

The bit that gets me is the fundraising committee is made up of parents & when tickets are required I'll get a text saying can you get x, y or z. No hi how are you or please or thank you. The parent concerned blanks me most other times. Her kid is in my kid's class & they attend some of the same activities so she knows who I am and that its my DH who donates the tickets.

It hacks me off that there is not at least some pretence of manners with a please or thank you. I know its petty but it gets my back up.

aibu to expect some politeness when asking for a favour?

OP posts:

ThePinkOcelot · 23/05/2017 21:54

Manners cost nothing. I would be inclined to ignore the texts. It doesn't matter whether the tickets are free or not. She is rude! Especially blanking you in the street!

Slightlyperturbedowlagain · 23/05/2017 21:58

YANBU it is very rude.
If I'd had a drink I might text back 'Sorry, who is this?' But that would be very childish and your idea of ignoring is much better.

Benedikte2 · 23/05/2017 22:09

If this woman is as blunt as this with other donors I can see some of them getting hacked off and refusing to supply the goods in future!

Scholes34 · 23/05/2017 22:12

Join the PTA committee and you can ask yourself for the tickets!

Cockadoodle · 23/05/2017 22:32

Loving like someone who was raised by a buffalo!!! Brilliant cuss! 😂😂😂

DisorderedAllsorts · 23/05/2017 23:14

I respond to similar requests by texting
'Decided to donate the tickets to different charites on a rotational basis. Unfortunately it's not the PTA's turn this year. I hope you find another suitable donation. DisOrdered x

DirtyDancing · 23/05/2017 23:56

Just don't reply so rude parent has to come and speak to you. Bet it will kill them to have to open their mouth and actually ask you for the tickets

ThePants999 · 24/05/2017 00:07

She's taking you for granted. I'll wager that she and her fundraising efforts get taken for granted too, though. Of course, that should mean she's all the more aware of what she's doing :-)

KeepServingTheDrinks · 24/05/2017 00:24

Agree that there's never an excuse for bad manners, but I do think you should join the PTA at your DCs school and see what the funds they are raising is being spent on before you get prissy about it... It might be some gorgeous play equipment that your DC will adore, for example.

nina2b · 24/05/2017 00:30

The OP is not being "prissy", as you call it. She is quite right to ignore this rude and ungrateful text.

nina2b · 24/05/2017 00:33

I like the idea of responding - in your own good time - with an "I'm fine. How are you?" After all, you have the upper hand, OP.

melj1213 · 24/05/2017 00:43

This happened a few times at DDs school, I am on the PTA but wasn't the one in charge of soliciting donations so I wasn't party to the specific messages getting sent to donors and potential donors, but the first year I was on the committee our "Donation Co-ordinator" was like the one in your OP - apparently she was sending short, demanding messages to parents and they were getting upset/pissed off but felt like they couldn't just ignore them as they didn't want the school to suffer.

What ended up happening was that a couple of parents wrote letters to the head of the PTA and the head teacher that basically stated they felt that a bit of courtesy wouldn't go amiss when the PTA was asking for things and currently people felt underappreciated as there was no recognition, even just a "Thanks for your donation" and so they were starting to feel like they were just donation providers, rather than supporting the school.

The Chair of the PTA and the Head Teacher were both beyond mortified that it had got to that point and at the next PTA meeting the letters were brought up and everyone was reminded that they were representatives of a school committee and should be mindful of how things were worded. The committee also then drew up a new system for donations - there was a standard donation request letter/email/text template drawn up, and we sorted out a better way to record who had donated what so that they could be thanked on the day (whether in a speech, pamphlet or signs on the donation table) and we also arranged for the termly PTA newsletter to have a little note of thanks for anyone who had donated/supported any events from the last term

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