In saying I don't want to talk about the bombing in Manchester?

[yayayahey]

I'm British but live in the States. Since the bombing happened yesterday I've had quite a few texts and messages asking things along the line of 'what do you think?' and everyone I've seen this morning has wanted to talk about it.

I understand that I'll be most people's focus point here as I'm the only Brit around but I don't want to talk about it to every single person i come across.

Partly because I'm obviously upset like everyone else and it really chokes me up talking about it, partly because a lot of the people asking seem to be excited and have some off, gory interest in it, can't quite put my finger on it. And partly because of the anti Muslim sentiment of lot of people have voiced.

I said to probably about the 30th person who asked me today "I'm sorry but I'd rather not talk about it" very nicely and they were clearly offended and put out. And dh said he thought it was a little rude.

I'm worried now that it was rude. Do I have to suck it up and replay the same conversation for the rest of the day or can i decline to talk about it and not look like an ass?

I lost friends in a terror attack
There are people with genuinely macabre vulturish intentions
I think it's fine you don't want to talk, even if not directly or indirectly affected
I'm meant to be off work this week, haven't left th flat today because I know everyone I bump into will want to talk about and I know bleeping everyone round here.
Going for a run at dinner time to avoid them, hopefully. Though might get people assuming I'm Muslim.

So yes YANBU and it hurts when it's your home country and why aren't people more sensitive!!

I was at work not long after the twin towers attack, a man's American daughter was visiting who lived in NYC, one of the first things she said was and don't ask me about the towers I'm sick of you Brits wanting all the gorey details. I had no intention of mentioning it.
I think perspective can be a bit skewed sometimes.

It definitely is macabre and I think the advent of 24-hour news programs is fuelling that. They are all searching for extra little tidbits to eke out the news. I saw a lot of interviews today with people who were at the concert on sky, bbc24 etc which were very intrusive went on for ages and I thought - is this really necessary? Seemed like voyeurism to me

I think your reply is totally fair. I don't know why anyone would be offended by it.

The BBC is dreadful for going over and over a tragedy in far too much detail. My thoughts are with the victims and their families but I refuse to listen to the news.

Perfectly reasonable not to wish to speak about it.

If I was in the US I would be tempted to point out that it would have been worse given their lack of gun control compared with the UK.

I've lived in London for a long time, and it was the same during both 7/7 and Westminster attacks - people from back home desperate to text and talk to me who I hadn't heard from in years. To be honest they had no interest in if I was ok - they just wanted to be able to say 'my friend was there.. sad face' on social media and somehow align themselves with a tragedy in the media. Very ghoulish.

Personally I don't post anything on social media during these events - it doesn't reach the people affected by it and often it comes off as virtue signalling (no offence meant, I'm quite a private person)

Ginger- I lived in London then too and was too busy fending off demands from my family to move out to notice much else. My poor Dad was in a right state.

Yanbu... I couldn't listen to any media reports today... it's too sad

lapin I thought the same seeing an interview with a pair of 16 year olds this morning dragging it out asking for their personal opinion... totally unnecessary

YANBU, OP. Things like this can be overwhelming and I wouldn't blame anyone for wanting to distance themselves from it.

Totally agree with posters here. Watching my newsfeed on FB today and many of the posts extremely irritating, as if people just want to associate themselves with the drama of it in some way. Maybe it's just not hit me yet or maybe I'm just too stoic or private, not sure. I've just done my bit and got on with it today but thoughts have been with those whose loved ones aren't coming back. Such is life.

I think saying you don´t want to talk about it is a good response. I grew up in NI during the Troubles and over the years I have had many, many people come up and want to ask me all kinds of intrusive questions about my experiences. "I don´t like talking about it" seems just about the best response. I don´t think people are being deliberately rude, they just are unthinking.