Aibu to wish that someone would actually tell me if I am being crazy?!

[alittlebitofaliedown]

I have always had trouble with anxiety and depression. I have managed ok through life and married have a large Family . I have a history of just slight oddness which I only realise once I feel less odd if that makes any sense.

So for example I went through a year of not leaving the house at all and a few months of basically spending as much time as I could in bed I went through a period of Believing I would hurt myself I I moved around to fast.

Most recently I went through a phase of randomly scratching my arms with my nails (without noticing) until they bled .

Don't get me wrong I was able to basically carry on with life I am ok Day to day I am able to put on a good face and get on. But at the time all of those things seems perfectly rational and normal to me. There are more but are more difficult to talk about!.

Really what I am wondering is - I am married I see members of my family regularly. Why doesn't anyone tell me that I'm being odd? Why doesn't anyone stop me?!

I mean if my husband spent a year indoors I would at least mention it? When I ask him about it he just says he just lets me get on with what I want!

It's got to the point now where I question myself all the time because I have no idea if I am being rational.

Aibu to wonder why no one just asks me if I'm ok? Or mentions it when I am clearly not?

I realise this sounds like an incredibly pathetic needy post I promise in real life I am generally able to have a normal life etc but this bugs me!

Why would they tell you you're odd? They know you are and accept that's just you. I know lots of odd people and some crazy ones, I'd never be rude enough to point it out.

Have you read the book reasons to stay alive?

It's a fantastic book about 1 guys life, dealing with agoraphobia, and other mental problems. I bought it just cos I thought it would be interesting but found myself agreeing with so many of his thought processes, there's also pages of comments from people in the internet about his book and his online blog and it just goes to prove that none of us are "normal" because there's no such thing as normal.

I can relate to this. I have anxiety and depression and for years was left to get on with it. When I'm having a 'weird' episode my husband tends to keep a quiet eye for a while incase it calms down on its own but after a few days or a week depending on how I'm acting will give me an 'I'm worried about you' talk. I actually need that sometimes. Maybe speak to your husband about it and let him know you'd appreciate it if he intervened at times. Maybe he was worried about offending you.

PS I also get the scratching thing. Not trying to self harm I don't even realise I'm doing it. DH will grab my hand (discretely if we are in public) just to stop me and so I realise I'm doing it and it hardly happens now.

Would it if made any difference? my mother rarely left her bed for two years and mentioning it made it worse as a family we just didn't know what to say or do. Doctors and realising herself when she was at the edge helped. He may not know how the best way to approach the situation. Mental health is a subject many would prefer to skirt around. You may need to tell him and your family how to help.