So this is about our engagement party.
DP and I live in London but come from different parts, both quite far. My parents and most family come from a place that is far but fairly well connected. However I also have close family in other cities so there would be relatives coming from all over.
DP's family come from a small place, fairly remote and not as easy to get to. His is a large family - lots of brothers and sisters, even immediate family (first aunts/uncles and their families) is some 50 ppl! And they all live there. They don't travel much.
We didn't want to do it in London as we feel it would be quite expensive for everybody and lots of DP's family wouldn't come. To be fair some of mine might not either. So we will do a separate party for our friends and life here. Also thought it might be nice to combine a family party with a mini break somewhere in the county.
DP is keen on doing it at his home town. (I suspect future PIL might be pressuring a bit too)
It is a pretty place but my issue is geography. I worry that most of my family won't be able to come cause it is far, they would need to take time off work and many have small DC so it would be tricky and expensive for them. At the same time all of DP's family would be there so it would effectively become a very one sided affair. (50ppl from his side, 5 from mine. Not that they ever make me feel left out, they are lovely, but WIBU to want to have my family there too??)
I am not too bothered about doing it in my home town as such, but what would the alternative be? Really keen to hear ppl's thoughts. I am worried that since I am too involved I have lost perspective of what is actually fair here.
Now. DP and I get along great and generally don't argue. We have both been avoiding the issue for a while as I sense we just don't want to disagree.
I sincerely want to find a fair way of making this work. It is a joyful occasion and I don't want it to cause upset. WWYD??