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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Colleague having time off?

16 replies

MasuMara · 22/05/2017 21:17

My colleague is constantly having time off. She even got a full day off to collect her cat from the vets in the morning Hmm

She had a whole day off once for a hospital appointment, which obviously is fine. Except she then meets everyone after work for drinks and to show off having had her nails done earlier that day.

She even commented that it was weird to do a whole week as she hadn't done one in so long.

I have an appointment tomorrow at 10 and I'm expected to come in before and straight after. I'd be fine with that but seems it's one rule for one etc aibu?

OP posts:
StillDrivingMeBonkers · 22/05/2017 21:21

Your AIBU is what?

Do you have any idea what her arrangements are with management?

UrethaFranklin · 22/05/2017 21:23

She could be using her annual leave, do you know for certain that she isn't?

CandleLit · 22/05/2017 21:24

You need to let this go as it can become a morale sucking black hole.

Be thankful for your strong work ethic - you'll be much happier and in a stronger position professionally in the long run.

You don't know what management might be doing about this, nor should you.

If her constant absences are impacting for your work, then you can raise it with your manager in that context, but more to find solutions to minimise impact of her absences, rather than improve her attendance. Other than that, I'd let it go.

Teabagtits · 22/05/2017 21:25

Is she taking the time off as annual leave? If so it's none of your business

Original poster
MasuMara · 22/05/2017 21:32

No she isn't. She's said she isn't

OP posts:
GertyTheGert · 22/05/2017 21:47

I know someone like this and my colleagues & I think she and her Mgr have "arrangements" betwn them. She has been away from the office @ 106 times in the past year - be it whole day, half day, A/L. So we all know it aint A/L. When someone says "its none of yr business" actually it is in a sort-of way as it shows this woman is confidently showing off she has had her nails done etc etc. In case someone says ooh are you charting her time off? No I am not. I realised @ 6 mths ago she never does a full week and hence mathematically worked it out!!! Her boss is rarely seen either - they deal with Promotions!!!!!!!!

Judydreamsofhorses · 22/05/2017 21:51

I've recently had a load of (expensive, painful, necessary) dental appointments, which have had to be in work time because the dentist keeps office hours. I try to arrange them late in the day and outside anything I need to do at work, but I really hope my colleagues aren't bitching about me. (Similarly, I roll with it when my colleague frequently has to dash off to collect one of his DC from nursery in the middle of the day.)

ImNotWhoYouThinkIAmOhNo · 22/05/2017 22:00

Tricky. I have a member of staff who reports back to me on who left at what time. I say, keep your beak out, who cares, as most of them have nothing to do with our team.

But if she's on your team? Ah, that's different. You should only bring this up to your manager in the context of it creating extra work for you, especially if it's stopping you have time off. I mean, actually preventing you, not you just imagining that your line manager wouldn't allow it. There may be confidential reasons for her having so much time off, and the reasons are none of your business.

Pollaidh · 22/05/2017 22:07

Could she be on compressed hours or another flexi arrangement? In this case she may be working late in the evenings etc which you might not see.

Alternatively if she's not part-time, she could have special disability-related arrangements, which can make it awkward to bring it up. On the other hand, unlikely to be showing off nails in this case. Most people with this situation (me included) are very wary of anything that might be perceived badly and tend to work extra hard to make up.

HundredMilesAnHour · 22/05/2017 22:35

It sounded like you were being unreasonable until you mentioned the nails. Now I see your point and YANBU. Very foolish/insensitive of your colleague to do that.

However, as others have said, you don't know her personal circumstances and what agreement she may have in place with management. Or she could just be shagging the boss. Wink

Alternatively she could well be taking the p*ss and management are being lax or are distracted with other things.

I inherited a direct report when I took over a dept who massively took the pss. Apart from annoying the hell out of me, it set a really bad example to other staff. I knew within a few months that this guy was bad news. He talked a good story though and a lot of people fell for it, including another member of the management team (so same level as me). He fell for the bullsht so badly that we exchanged some pretty strong words and I found out that they were both badmouthing me behind my back as a result. I was very much being touted as the evil devil bitch. My "troublemaker" seemed to always have luck on his side and got away with things that other staff would have been in serious trouble for. HR were also terrified that he might accuse the company of racism if he didn't get his own way. It took me almost a year but I compiled so much evidence that finally my UK head and even HR agreed to fire him. What I'm trying to say (in a very long winded way, sorry) is that just because your colleague appears to be getting away with things right now doesn't mean that there isn't someone like me, keeping records and building a case against her. Luck always runs out in the end. Wink

LallanasInPyjamas · 22/05/2017 22:38

This is your business why? if it's not annual leave then she isn't being paid for it, so what does it matter.

Chloe84 · 22/05/2017 22:40

But she probably is being paid for it.

It's a sucky world where who you know matters and the rules don't apply to everyone.

carjacker1985 · 22/05/2017 22:58

It's annoying, but ultimately unless it's having a direct effect on your workload than it's none of your business.

Goldfishjane · 22/05/2017 22:58

"This is your business why? if it's not annual leave then she isn't being paid for it, so what does it matter."

If it's not paid, then other staff should know how much unpaid time off they are allowed.

TinselTwins · 22/05/2017 23:11

I have a colleague like this. If she doesn't get what she wants she runs to HR accusing the managers of bullying and then takes a load of "stress" sick days.

She gets away with a lot more than the rest of us do. She's also pretty much fucked her career progression because the pattern has been well noted even though she's smart about it and pulls the Bullying card to get out of trouble whenever anyone pulls her up on anything.

She's gone for a few promotions lately and flopped flat on her face. We started at the same level and I'm now ahead of her.

What I'm trying to say OP, is that they may be "Getting away with it" but they might also be shooting themselves in the foot!

TinselTwins · 22/05/2017 23:13

(sorry forgot to say, I'm not going off topic, she takes a whole day off for things that the rest of us would re-arranged or just take a longer lunch break for. If she's pulled up on it she goes to HR with "Stress" from her manager bullying her over her appointment (when all that happened was she was asked if it was possible to do it as a half day etc). She's also gone to union reps etc so they know she'll cause a stink if they fire her but she aint going upwards either!.

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