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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Stopping breastfeeding

21 replies

fanfrickintastic · 22/05/2017 20:53

I want to stop breastfeeding but if I ask anyone for advice on stopping I get looked at like I'm a child murder or something.

DS is 18months and has been a total bottle refuser. We are down to 2 - 3 feeds a day now, morning, 5pm and bed. 5pm doesn't always happen and bedtime only happens when I do bed time.

We night weaned a few months ago, which was very painful for DS.

People can't understand why if I'd got this far I wouldn't want to natural term wean.

I hate breastfeeding. I've hated it since day one and if DS would take a bottle I'd have ended it ages ago. He now eats really well and drinks plenty of water. It's manly a comfort thing for him, or a sleep thing in the mornings (cuddles in bed with mummy whilst he snoozes a bit). I get really bad nursing aversion, i's better now I'm not nursing as much and it now comes and goes but it is horrible when it's there. And I just want my boobs back. I'm done. I also need to take some medication which isn't safe to use whilst breastfeeding (and I've had that double checked)

I just don't know how to stop - I no longer offer and I don't let him drag feeds out. I'm not bothered about replacing it with anything, he gets plenty of calcium in his diet.

Aibu to want to stop?

OP posts:

WellErrr · 22/05/2017 20:55

Not at all.

I would cut down to one feed a day, then just stop.

Rolypolybabies · 22/05/2017 20:57

I looked at my now 18 month old recently and just thought I don't ever want to feed you again.

I felt drained and loathed it towards the end. I am glad I achieved so long, but I was done. I stopped and just expressed for comfort and let dad settle her more when she was used to feeds.

You have given your child so much and should be very proud. Do what feels right for you

Peachesandcream15 · 22/05/2017 20:57

I feel your pain. I am currently weaning DD 19m. We are on day 3. It is hard going! Dh is currently upstairs with DD whilst I stay out the way with my rock hard boobs for company. Hope tomorrow is a bit better.

JaniceJoplin · 22/05/2017 21:01

Could you go away for a few days and someone else look after him. Anything that will distract - biscuits, tv whatever if it's just you. Basically it is like trying to break the habit of a lifetime for the baby. Mine is the same, my DH did nights alone for a month to get him to sleep, I slept elsewhere, and we only get by in the day not feeding if baby is 100% distracted like out all day or with others, at home I give in. Sweet drinks like apple juice also helps. I just think they can't see mum and boob separately yet.

AnyFarrahFowler · 22/05/2017 21:02

It's a completely understandable way to feel, YANBU to want to stop.

DS was still breastfeeding at 14months and the only thing that stopped him was me getting pregnant! My hormones must have changed the way the milk tasted. It's a bit of a drastic option though...

CeCeBloomer · 22/05/2017 21:05

I managed to stop when we went on holiday / change of routine made dd forget and when we got home I told her that we were going to sing songs instead / she shrugged her shoulders and accepted it, she was a bit older though just over 2

Writerwannabe83 · 22/05/2017 21:06

YANBU

I started to get fed up with it when DS was about two and I slowly started to really resent it until I finally decided to stop when he was 2.5 years old.

I also wanted my boobs back, I was fed up with him constantly grabbing them and wanting to hold them but here we are, 7 months after stopping, and he is still constantly putting his hands down my top and asking if he can hold my "milks". I hate it and sometimes I feel like forcefully pushing him away from me because him trying to grope away at me just feels horrible.

My sister BF her son until he was about 18 months old and didn't fully lose interest in her boobs until he was almost 5.

Good luck OP - be consistent and persistent

BertieBotts · 22/05/2017 21:09

You could reduce the length of feeds by counting the number of "drinks" though DS was a bit older when that worked on him.

Something a friend found helpful was her husband took over the putting to sleep part, she fed in the living room, then her son would go up with Daddy for a story, it made him less dependent on the milk to sleep and then one day she just went out so she wasn't there and he didn't seem to mind at all.

You could also try replacing it with a beaker of warm cow's milk - perhaps try the milk/story order switch first? I know you said you don't need to replace it but for the association.

Jupitar · 22/05/2017 21:11

I weaned my daughter at 6 months to go back to work, I'd had no problems breastfeeding and found it easy but 6 months was enough for me, my son was weaned at about 12 months cos I was sahm and again that was more than enough, so well done for getting this far, no need to feel any guilt at all

followTheyellowbrickRoad · 22/05/2017 21:13

I would stop too. Can your dh do bedtime for the next week or so. And I would just get him up in the morning and do breakfast straight away.

emmyhNL · 22/05/2017 21:14

Well done for getting this far! I'd definitely reduce it down slowly as you could be risking mastitis if you go cold turkey.

Maybe try for a week cutting out the 5pm feed and then either the morning or evening and reducing it that way.

Hornbeamer · 22/05/2017 21:18

I've weaned my son at 3 years and 4 months a month ago and he still cries about not having it. For him, the longer it went on the more of a dependence he developed on it. I kept thinking he would self wean and he never did. He still constantly has his hand down my top. I didn't mind too much, but you must do what's right for you and if you're fed up, then now is the time to stop.

Original poster

fanfrickintastic · 22/05/2017 21:23

The hand down my top thing drives me nuts! As does nipple twiddling. I do try and stop him dong it but he's persistent.

I'm going to cut the 5pm feed and once that's gone get DH to do bedtime until that's done.

The morning one is trickier - he has breakfast at nursery at 8am, if I don't boob him wake up would be 4.30/5am!

OP posts:

Hornbeamer · 22/05/2017 21:30

Yep, my son also used to wake at 4.30am without fail, so I would feed him as at least then we could all stay in bed for a bit longer! Sometimes the nipple twiddling was so unbearable!!! Bear in mind you'll have days where it feels like you are going backwards but it does get easier. You could try a special cup with Thomas on or something to have nighttime milk in

hiimmumma · 22/05/2017 21:35

I don't know why I clicked on this thread really...
No advise, I have a 8MO bottle refusing bad sleeper that will only be nursed to sleep.
I feel like I've just looked into the future. I don't know if I can do another 10months of this!

Jupitertomars · 22/05/2017 21:44

Himumma - im the exact same. Im done at 8 months but my DD wont let me stop. Im not sure what to do as it seems the longer it goes on the harder it is for them to stop.

Jayfee · 22/05/2017 21:49

9 months for each of my two...job done imo!

bananamonkey · 22/05/2017 21:53

Me too himmumma, boobing 8 month old baby back to sleep right now, I hate it!

hiimmumma · 22/05/2017 21:56

@Jayfee
How did you stop at 9months?
Did you replace with anything?
We're your LOs self settling or were you feeding to sleep when you stopped?
I think I have to teach him to self settle before I can stop but don't know how. Or is it one in the same?

So sorry to have hijacked your thread OP!

Original poster

fanfrickintastic · 22/05/2017 22:07

That's fine hiimmumma I stopped feeding to sleep at about 11months. Ended up doing controlled crying, everything else just made him angrier. We might weaned at 14months as I was getting 4-5 hours sleep a night and risking falling asleep at the wheel and I was performing badly at work. But DS only slept 90mins at a time until then! He now sleeps 7-5 3ish nights a week give or take.

The nursing aversion is much worse at night, it's got so bad that I'd rather sit up for 3 hours with an awake DS than nurse him back to sleep!

OP posts:

BertieBotts · 22/05/2017 22:38

hiimumma have a look at the book The No Cry Sleep Solution, I used that to help my son be less dependent on milk for sleeping.

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