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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Husband moaning

20 replies

ballerinabelle · 22/05/2017 19:02

I've been working all day (work FT) and my DH was working later than normal. I picked my DS (2.9) up after work gave him dinner and bathed him. DH comes in and goes straight into the shower. While he was in the shower my DS asked to go to bed...never happens! Straight into bed and fell asleep in minutes. DH comes out the shower and starts moaning that he hasn't seen him all day and why did I put him to bed?! Hmm BECAUSE HE'S FUCKING TIRED!! sorry I just wanted a moan!

OP posts:
esmaesmomma · 22/05/2017 19:37

DH could of waiting until your child had gone to bed YANBU. My DP does this when he works on lates he gets up late and moans he hasn't seen dd I always wake him up an hour before he needs to get ready so he can play with her then he moans he doesn't get a lie in. Cannot win! Lol x

Believeitornot · 22/05/2017 19:38

Why didn't he come and see him when he got straight in? Hmm
If he wanted to see him that much then he could have!

I always greet my dcs when I come home if they're awake?!

RunRabbitRunRabbit · 22/05/2017 19:41

Was it more a moan accusing you of actual wrong-doing or more a general moan of disappointment at missing out on time with child?

RedSkyAtNight · 22/05/2017 19:43

Unless your DH spends hours in the shower it does seem a bit mean not to even let him say good night to DS. Surely a minute or 2 of keeping him up would make no difference?

Original poster
ballerinabelle · 22/05/2017 19:44

"Why did you have to put him to bed so early?" I could have knocked his block off!

OP posts:
NapQueen · 22/05/2017 19:44

Why couldnt you just pop your head in with ds "give daddy a kiss night night"

Original poster
ballerinabelle · 22/05/2017 19:44

redsky he could be in there for 25 min. I'm not keeping an exhausted toddler up for that length of time!

OP posts:
Believeitornot · 22/05/2017 19:49

Why couldnt you just pop your head in with ds "give daddy a kiss night night"

Why didn't the dh come and say hello? I took the OP to read that she got home first then dh got home and popped in the shower?

NapQueen · 22/05/2017 20:00

Maybe her dh does a manual or dirty job? My dad works for a drainage company and the first thing he does when he walks in the door is shower as he is minging.

wowbutter · 22/05/2017 20:06

He de a choice- going in the shower.
You made a choice- putting a tired child to bed.

One person made choices for their own good, one made choices for another's. Who s in the right depends in your perspective, but if your husband really wanted to see the kid, he would come straight in and see him. Smelly, dirty, covered in fish... he will have seen the child.

He made a choice, now he has consequences.

Original poster
ballerinabelle · 22/05/2017 20:06

He did come in and say a quick hello. Sorry I should have made that clearer but he was surprised that in the 20 min he was away my son had taken himself off to bed and was asleep in two seconds! Almost never happens. I'm just annoyed that he seems to be blaming me!

OP posts:
Chloe84 · 22/05/2017 20:09

He's a twat. Does he do his share of childcare and housework? Nursery pick-ups?

ScarlettFreestone · 22/05/2017 20:12

He's unreasonable to moan at you but but unreasonable to feel sad he didn't get to say goodnight.

In that situation I'd have carried him in to get a kiss from Daddy in the shower.

NapQueen · 22/05/2017 20:13

Tbf if the kid never asks to go to bed early then it would have come as quite a surprise that this randomly happened one time.

I still dont understand why you wouldnt take ds to say a quick nite nite and for a kiss. Dh may have said "ill take him to bed, let me just grab a towel".

Original poster
ballerinabelle · 22/05/2017 20:31

napqueen he walked up the stairs ahead of me and straight into bed. I've literally never known him to do it before tonight

OP posts:
NapQueen · 22/05/2017 20:41

Yep and neither will your dh so no wonder he was disappointed. Everyone giving him jip on here that he didnt come spend time with ds first when every single other day ever dd has been there when he got out the shower.

DoomGloomAndKaboom · 22/05/2017 20:49

Your son wanted his bed more than he wanted to see his dad.

This means he is secure in the knowledge that daddy is around, and there when he needs him.

Neither of these things is your fault, in fact the second thing is to dh's credit.

OR

your ds finds his dad really dull - this also is not your fault Grin Wink

Believeitornot · 22/05/2017 21:23

Yep and neither will your dh so no wonder he was disappointed. Everyone giving him jip on here that he didnt come spend time with ds first when every single other day ever dd has been there when he got out the shower

Well yes because surely you come and say hello to your wife and child as soon as you get in? Why run straight to the shower Hmm

NapQueen · 22/05/2017 21:40

"He did come in and say a quick hello. Sorry I should have made that clearer"

From the OP Beleive

Believeitornot · 23/05/2017 18:49

Missed that NapQueen - I was going just by the OP that'll teach me not to read the whole thing

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