I know IABU but please hand me a grip (relationship/children/marriage)-related

[WhereDoAllTheWildThingsGo]

I've NC.

The short story:

My ex and I were together for 6 years. Around 4 years in I was ready for marriage and children. He said he was unsure. He said he didn't believe in marriage and was unsure if he ever wanted children. I said OK, have some time to work it out. I gave him time to 'figure it out'. In this period of time we went on some sort of break. He then came back saying he found he didn't want kids and marriage as that was my deal breaker at that point.

I said ok. We broke up.

12 months later: he is engaged and his girlfriend is pregnant.

WTF? Why not me? I still love him and even so why did he do this?

I could have saved myself so much time and emotion had I known!

grip<

Same thing happened to me and I think it makes it harder to move on when you spent so long with someone and can't figure out completely why it ended.

But relationships and life decisions aren't always logical. It was not the right time or person for him at the time - that's all you can know I'm afraid x

In my experience (not personal) this is bafflingly common.

It does seem to be the other person who changes the Reluctant Partner, rather than RP having a spontaneous change of heart. So the likelihood is he would never have changed his mind with you, and it's not like you missed out and should've clung on when it was clear you wanted different things.

Again, based on very unscientific evidence from what I see in couples around me.

I am sorry Op . I agree with Dailymail that's how it happens and that it is not uncommon sadly. You did well to leave and you deserve the happiness he could not give you.

OR did his girlfriend get pregnant unexpectedly and he felt compelled to propose?

You'll never know how content or not he is with his new situation.