To feel less excited about second pregnancy than I did with my first?

[Writerwannabe83]

I'm currently 27 weeks pregnant with DC2 and it is a much wanted pregnancy and it took 10 cycles of TTC to get here.

I've had a pretty crappy pregnancy which is too long to go into and although it's been a bit stressful and difficult I'm obviously very happy.

However - my feelings towards this pregnancy are so different compared to when I was pregnant with my first child (who has just turned three) in that I'm happy but I don't feel the same level of excitement.

I'm part of a FB group for women whose babies are due in the same month, there are about 80 of us, and they are excitedly talking about prams, car seats, Moses baskets, going home outfits, how many baby-gros to buy, what toys they have bought, what they're packing in their hospital bags etc etc and it's just lost on me. Sometimes I read the posts and their replies and feel like something is wrong with me because I haven't even started to think about things like that, let alone get excited about it.

They put up photos of their beautifully decorated nurseries and all it does is remind me that it's another thing I haven't sorted so it's more proof I'm not being 'maternal' enough. Same goes when they post photos of outfits they've bought or play mats they've bought because things like this haven't even occurred to me to buy yet.

The only thing I have for this baby is a swinging crib and to be honest I don't particularly have any strong urges to go out and start buying baby things despite the fact that by this point in DS's pregnancy we'd practically bought out Kiddicare and Mothercare.

I did just assume my feelings were because this is my second baby so that novelty and excitement of having your first isn't there and you aren't quite as crazy hyper but when I spoke about it to two of my friend's yesterday (who have both had a second child) they looked at me appalled when I said things just felt "different" this time round in terms of how excited I am.

Like I said, I'm over the moon to be pregnant, I'm lying in bed now and I can feel him kicking away and I love it so I know I'm happy about the pregnancy and to be having a baby and I can't wait for him to arrive but that's where my feelings end at the moment.

I at times have felt like leaving the FB group because it's starting to make me feel like I'm odd or something is wrong.

I'm hoping loads of parents of more than one child will come on and tell me it's completely normal and that you felt the same too?

Completely normal for me and those of my friends who have had 2 children!
I didn't have the energy or enthusiasm 2nd time round, though like you I enjoyed feeling the baby move.

Ditto! I am 27 weeks pregnant and haven't bought anything for this wee one. We were TTC and this baby is very much wanted, but with my first I was all daydreams about what life was going to be like. Now I spend all day chasing after a toddler who loves to bolt, picking up bits of train set, reading the same stories again and again and wondering how long an IKEA plastic fork that I found this evening has been down the back of the sofa. I don't have time for the same daydreams, though right now he's kicking away and it's great. I also know what's coming in terms of night feeds etc, so that is probably dampening the excitement a bit too! I feel a bit guilty too as I feel like I should be treating them the same, but the fact is my life now is very different to when I was pregnant first time round, doesn't mean I will love this one any less.

I've just had my second and was exactly the same. I just didn't have the energy the second time around as was so preoccupied with my toddler. Now he is here it is absolutely no different to when I had my first! Plus second time, I didn't necessarily have the excitement of buying everything as we just re-used what we had for dc1!

Completely normal ! First time it's exciting, you have time to plan, to decorate and shop.
Second time round you're spending most of your day exhausted, running round after a toddler, wondering how you'll manage with two, wondering if you'll ever sleep again!

I spent the whole of my second pregnancy worrying that I couldn't possibly love a second child as much as I loved my first

Completely normal in my experience.

Completely normal, honestly. I don't think I even got that excited about the first one! Facebook can be great but sometimes it just stirs up this unhealthy over-the-topness, like a form of mass hysteria, and then everyone thinks that's how they should be feeling so it becomes self-perpetuating.

Completely normal! I felt exactly the same. I just didn't have the spare mental energy with a bad pregnancy, toddler to look after and a job. It made absolutely no
Difference to how I felt when the baby arrived. He's still very much adored.

I'm 37weeks pregnant and I feel the same way the only time I feel excited is when I think about how my 3year old DD will react when we bring him home she's more excited then me to be honest.

It's good to know I'm not the only one who feels this way about second pregnancy.

Thanks everyone!!

I was in ASDA and contemplated wandering through the baby section to see if I had an urge to buy anything but I couldn't be bothered.

I was far too excited buying stickers, pens and glitter to do some fun stuff with my DS this evening!! I agree with previous posters who said when there's already one child to focus on the bump unfortunately doesn't get as much attention!!

It's totally normal I think.

I had a large ish age gap between dd1 and dd2 so I was excited to be doing it all again. However I now am 36wks with dd3 with a small age gap and to be honest I'm just scared more than anything (the last birth was pretty rough and far too fresh in my mind!) I've got all the stuff sorted that I need to but it hasn't been a fun experience like it was the first two times.

I'm 18w and feel completely the same. As super patronising as this sounds sometimes I peek on the "October 2017" board and see everyone going "omg do I get an ICandy or a Upoababy" and think it's sweet to see the excitement and babble that relates to a first successful pregnancy.

I think it's normal to have less excitement just because you have less mental bandwidth to take up with excitement as you already have a DC to look after and cater for!

Are all the FB mums first time mums?

I haaaaated my second pregnancy. The first time around I took the bad with the good and it was fine because I was so excited. It was an easy pregnancy anyway.

Second time was twins. Don't do that if you can avoid it. From the first three months of throwing up 3 times every day and being constantly exhausted to the last 3 months of being unable to eat or sleep and living with constant hip pain and reflux... urgh.

LOVE the babies; hate the pregnancy.

Right there with you OP. This is my second pregnancy, and I have a DS (2). This pregnancy is just as much wanted as our first pregnancy, and we actively were TTC. Our first took 5 years to conceive, and this baby was 1 month. I think it was more the shock of not expecting it to happen so quickly. The only things I've brought so far as practical things such as the bottles and the steriliser! I'm 24 weeks, and when I was 12 weeks last pregnancy we had everything and the nursery was set up! How times change. Your a busy mummy already, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm so ready for baby to just be here, and not have to deal with pregnancy. I can't get the motivation to buy baby things either, if when I do eventually then il probably do it all online. You love your unborn baby, and that's all that matters . Congratulations on your pregnancy.