To cry in front of DD

[callmehannahbaker]

All of the time.

Constantly.

I can't stop, I feel I'm breaking her.

It is ok to cry
How old is she?
Is it just the two of you at home?
Why are you crying?

Do you have anyone you can talk to about things, a family member or a friend?

Have you seen your gp?

Sorry, she's nearly 7, I'm on an array of meds, been in and out of psych units for a while. I have just been discharged from the mental health system and suddenly feel alone.

That sounds tough, do you feel like you could still use some support?

I know MH is stretched to breaking point at the minute but in the past children's services have managed to get me some respite (DD looked after one day a week) when I wasn't "Ill enough" for MH services to take me on.

for you Hannah. Could you talk to your GP about how you're feeling?

Obviously that's going to be tough for you and your dd. Do you have any support?

It's fine to cry but maybe see if you can speak to the school nurse or get her in touch with young carers groups locally just so she has somewhere to take and process it all with others who understand. That, and seeing you working actively on recovery for yourself will help. Good luck

Do you have a telephone number for your local MH crisis team?
If not would you like me to find it for you?

This will pass x

I can imagine it would be quite distressing to see your mother crying all the time. Do you tell her why you're crying?

You need more support, speak to your MH team/GP and family. Probably the school too?

I've spoken to my gp and they've upped my meds.

I've spoken to dd's school who are aware of our my issues.

I tell her it's because of mummy's poorly head. It is so unfair on her.

Does DD fit the criteria as a young career? Might be worth contacting some relevant charities, they may be able to provide support for her and in turn helps you too

Sorry, typo- *carer

Try ringing Samaritans when you feel alone they can be helpful

What are the criteria for a young career?

*carer

My child sees me cry a lot and comforts me but I always feel so awful afterwards
Don't beat yourself up we all have down times
Xx

A couple of links-
www.nhs.uk/Conditions/social-care-and-support-guide/Pages/young-carers-rights.aspx

carers.org/about-us/about-young-carers

You sound like a lovely mum

Are you unreasonable to cry? No. You can't help that.

Will it be difficult and potentially damaging for your DD? Yes, lovely, it could be - as you know.

You say that the GP and school know - what are they doing with that information? It's a situation that should have the school referring you and your daughter to support agencies.

DD wouldn't qualify as a carer from those links-I do everything in the house and fully care for her-she is in no way helping me out at home (she barely agrees to dress herself most of the time).

I think I'll try book an appt with her teacher to make sure she's getting more support at school.

Do you have access to any talking therapies? Does she?

I think it's important that children see us processing our emotions, but it's important that they see us managing our emotions and it doesn't sound like you have the support you both need right now. I think it's admirable that you have both noticed this and are asking about it, particularly on AIBU!

I've been in the system years and have had so much help, it's only since being discharged a few weeks ago I've realised I don't have the immediate go to now and I'm feeling swamped and lost.

Dd's school have been great and she used to have one to one sessions with a nurse there to make sure she was coping-she says she is fine now and it's ok that I cry as I tell her it's just my head and not for any real reason of sadness. I just wish I could not put her in the position for it to be ok or not.

My mum's now had a go at me about the fact DD knows we have no money.

I should just give her up

No you shouldn't. You sound like a lovely and caring mum, honestly.