AIBU? Newly pregnant and so alone and scared

[wehavetwogorgeouscats]

I am pregnant, due in January.

I am having an awful time. I feel so ill all the time and exhausted and I don't feel ready for a baby in any way at all. Husband is delighted. So delighted it's making me feel I don't count for anything. I feel like an awful person but I've been googling abortion clinics. I feel so alone.

Do you want this baby?

The ill feeling is normal, as is being scared. This is obviously made worse by your husbands excitement. Take some time to think about what you need and speak to your husband.

I don't know, I honestly feel like I just hate being pregnant, and I don't think I feel I want a baby, but my husband does.

I'm guessing you weren't TTC? I really think you need to talk to your husband. If you can't talk to him, maybe a friend or even your GP? I think you need to get some support to really understand how you're feeling and make an informed choice.

It's totally normal to feel scared. I was terrified!
Hope you get the support you need OP!! You are not an awful person!!! You can't help the way you feel!! x

Thank you, I couldn't talk to him, I just can't. But I feel like I have to have this baby.

Is communication a real problem between you two? You really need to speak about this if you don't want the baby. Were you ttc? It is totally normal to feel terrible in the first trimester btw! I was so tired I felt like a zombie.

This is so sad 😔
I was 19 when I fell pregnant and a single mum. I felt very much like you did. I did have the baby and Ds is now 6. I wouldn't change him for the world now but I fully and I mean fully understand how you are feeling. Please pm if you need to xx

You need to be honest with yourself and husband. You may even find he's scared too.

Were you ttc? Even if you were these feelings are not unusual. I felt similarly when first pregnant with dd even though she was very much planned and wanted (previous mc's).

At the second scan when she was starting to look more recognisably 'a baby' I had a little freak out then nearer the end I had a 'I know I'm pregnant I hadn't realised I was going to be a mum' moment (which sounds insane and I actually phoned my mum that night she assured me lots of mums feel that way especially with the first and that its kind of natures deliberate trick as it makes you focus on taking care of yourself. That your focus changes once baby is here)

But it's a huge change, you know it's going to affect you more than him (let's be honest that's true, you're the one that's pregnant), but actually the mothers that have concerned me over the years are the ones that have been quite blasé over their first pregnancy and right enough they were the ones that struggled to adjust once baby was born.

Talk to your husband, dr, mum, friends that are mums, you will honestly find its really normal.

Good luck

I wish my mum was here to talk too

You have any aunts or other mothers to talk to? I'm more than happy to help here but real life can be more reassuring