to be irritated by son's constant rap/grime music

[NotLikingIt]

He's 15. Been mad about it since he was about 10. Its on nearly all the time, even when he's doing homework. I have made him keep it low in terms of volume, but it seeps through our small flat sometimes, this dirgy, negative monotonous beat, plus the whingey, angry lyrics, the swearing and generalised, for want of a better word, hatred. I've always loved all kinds of music but this is all my son listens to, which I think is sad, it seems to me all so angry and down on life

Can anyone shed any light on this? AIBU?

I have no idea, but a few weeks ago I was walking behind neighbour's son as he sang along to his ipod. Shanking (which I understand is not a dance) hos and britches was the theme.

His parents are evangelical Christians so I am guessing they don't know the contents of his ipod.

What music do you listen to OP?

I think YABU. Music for the next generation is there to be hated by the previous.

Play something you enjoy at the same volume and let it seep into his room.
It might mean he starts to enjoy different types of music.

My 14 yo DGD is here and listening to 'bashment' on her phone. It is driving me mad and I want to offer her some ear phones

Playing music your parents hate is a rite of passage that stretches all the way back to Frank Sinatra and the bobbysoxers in the 1940s. It's an important part of establishing an identity separate from your parents.

The best way to really piss him off is to say you're really into it, nothing makes something loose its appeal like parental approval:

'Oh Stormzy? Yeah, really like him, me and Doreen from next door were listening to him in the car on the way to aqua aerobics last week, not the commercial stuff you listen to, but his early underground material.'

In fairness, it's not always awful music.
My dd is weird and likes Opera and Jazz she'll listen to other music too.
I'm not an opera fan at all, apart from the popular well known ones that are pretty mainstream, used on adverts etc.
Some of the music she plays is not my type of thing at all and not so nice sounding.
You just get used to whatever it is they like and they usually grow out of it, they'll be unlikely to be listening to the same music in their twenties.

Can't beat a bit of rap music now and again. You could always join in with rapping along, you might horrify him enough that he turns it down or off!

Music for the next generation is there to be hated by the previous.

Not always. I'm 17 and can't stand the kind of music the OP refers to. I like quite a bit of the music my parents listen to, and they like some of the bands I like too.

My teenage ds's listen to their music on headphones only so I never get to hear their music which I'm a bit sad about as I was sort of looking forward to this stage, I know I used to annoy my mum when I blasted out my music. But I guess if it was like your experience OP then I wouldn't be keen either.

I think it's OK to flinch visibly and get offended when offensive lyrics are on. Yes he may like that in a way, but he's also your son and your opinion does matter. Talk back to the rappers. Also, can you limit the hours? Times when it's not on/not audible?

We like Stormzy in this house. Not sure I'd be keen on constant grime though.

YABU.
Sit down with your son and ask what it is he likes about grime, what he finds interesting, what he'd recommend to get you started listening. Give it a go. Maybe you'll be surprised. Or maybe you'll still hate it, and that's fine too! But tbh any music sounds shit when you're listening to it through the walls.
Skepta just won an Ivor Novello award for best songwriter so there's got to be something there?!

My brother spent 1 month as a teenager replying to everything my parents asked with "Shabba" in honour of his then idol Shabba Ranks.

So "could you pass the ketchup/ put your shoes away/ do your homework" All answered with "Shabba"

HTH

Can’t he use headphones? I couldn’t stand hearing music I didn’t like all the time (even though I drove my mum mad with loud heavy metal music)!

Buy him some headphones for Christmas?

God my mum hated anything that wasnt classical. Pop music was a bad influence.

Cut him some slack. He likes it.

I dont know how some people can tolerate some opera arias, they are just vowels:

Ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh

Over and over.

God my mum hated anything that wasnt classical. Pop music was a bad influence.

Cut him some slack. He likes it.

I dont know how some people can tolerate some opera arias, they are just vowels:

Ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhhh ahhhhhhhhh

Over and over.

Could you pretend you really like it and every time he puts it on, go in and dance to it, perhaps make up your own raps?

I was going to suggest the same, embrace it. Sing along to some of the tunes. Nothing makes my kids cringe more than a bit of street talk especially my son. I love it.

My brother loved rap, mam used to shout up the stairs"In the name of Jasus turn that dirty disco down"

I remember being a young teen and horrifying my parents by blasting Eminem and sticking posters of him all over my room. I agree with others that it's a right of passage.

Although my DP actually listens to the same music as your son so...