AIBU to be mad at my unfair family!!!

[midnightswirls]

So I've been up since 3am with my 11 month old son. He has a cold and bad athsma and couldn't stop coughing. I finally got him to settle about 5am. I'm also a single parent so it was me on my own. When he woke again he's got a really bad tummy and wouldn't stop crying. I finally got him to nap a moment ago. I told my mum he isn't well and that I've been up and tired. Anyway she text me saying my parents, sister and bf are going to a cafe right near me do I want to come. I said yea when? Her reply was in 10 mins! I said thanks for the notice! There's no way I'll be ready and my son is crying atm. So she was said ok. So I was already upset about being excluded ( this happens often). Then I get him down for a nap and I decided to have one too. Then I get knocks at the door and phone calls off my mum. Saying we are at yours. I said well I've just got him to sleep and I was then napping. Her reply was "well you want us to go then, how rude are you. We were going to do some gardening". How am I rude if I want to nap after a hard night and morning. And she knows I have had a hard time too! They didn't text to say they were coming either. AIBU to be upset/angry?

Not totally unreasonable from you, over reaction from mother. Probably best to text and apologise you we're grateful for offer of the garden but we're just so desperately tired you needed to go to sleep while you could.
You could mention re more notice but I'd save it for face to face Wien all is calmer x

Sounds like they were just trying to include you and give you a hand when you say you've had a tough night

Sounds like bad communication. Your mum could tell you were upset by the short notice and not being able to meet them, so thought they'd come to see you instead. You are both BU.

just sounds like crossed wires at most.

I've text and apologised if I was coming across ungrateful as I weren't. And just explained I'm exhausted. The way my mum is though she probably won't speak to me now.

Sounds like a bit of a blessing if she doesn't tbh. Is she always this much hard work?

Yes she is ohfour I'm having counselling because of her and other issues

Turn your phone off and go to bed! Bugger the rest of them, get your rest when you can, sleep when the baby sleeps is one of the best tips I had!

In that case I'm going to suggest 2 things: 1) limit contact with her/them - you don't need this shit; 2) get thy bum over to the stately homes thread - it sounds like you could do with some support from people who have been through and are going through similar.

It's not you, it's them. You need to remember that

Thanks which topic is that thread in please?

I think this is the latest thread?

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/relationships/2862886-But-we-took-you-to-Stately-Homes-survivors-of-dysfunctional-and-toxic-families

So she phoned to ask if you wanted to go to a cafe ten minutes before the time they were going? She didn't know that you had a bad night, all you had to say was you hadn't slept, baby was grumpy. I think you're overreacting hugely.

siwd she knew I had a bad night and he was very well