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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Aibu to get rid of all the toys

23 replies

Moomoomango · 21/05/2017 08:06

My two and 5 year old constantly fight about toys.. it's all I hear "I had that first" "he's got my toy" followed by one child hitting the other child with said toy. I end up shouting they end up crying. It's a shit show. Then of course the endless tidying,
Sorting, organising, finding toys all over the house. Would I be unreasonable to get rid of all the toys. Like seriously I'm at a point where toys are making my life miserable. I'm either cleaning them up, refeering and argument, organising them or feeling generally miserable.

Would my children be scarred for life if I took out all the toys and maybe kept a box of favourites in the office for times of emergency and just send them out in the garden to play with sticks?!

OP posts:

barrygetamoveonplease · 21/05/2017 08:08

"He's got my stick!"
"His stick is bigger... I want a big stick!"
"Mummy, he has all the sticks!"

If you're ready for that...

Shelby2010 · 21/05/2017 08:10

It's more soul destroying to have to mediate arguments about sticks. Or leaves. Or who has the biggest handful of mud.

endofthelinefinally · 21/05/2017 08:16

Sort them into a few boxes.
Get out one box at a time.
Rotate the boxes so you only have a limited number of toys out at any one time.
When my Dc were small, any toy that was fought over was removed and put on a high shelf.
The better weather is coming - they will be happier outside.
Unfortunately a 2 year old and a 5 year old is not an easy combination.

PelvicFloorClenchReminder · 21/05/2017 08:17

You can't throw out the toys!! Have you not seen Toy Story 3?

Original poster

Moomoomango · 21/05/2017 08:18

I almost feel like the rotating makes it worse because they get super excited about the new toys and end up fighting over them even more :(

OP posts:

Original poster

Moomoomango · 21/05/2017 08:19

I totally took three boxes of toys to the top last week as I'm generally quite minimalist - but toys good god the sheer volume of toys children amass is crazy!

OP posts:

Original poster

Moomoomango · 21/05/2017 08:19

Tip*

OP posts:

Cagliostro · 21/05/2017 08:34

Having fewer toys won't hurt them. I'd have a weed out of some less favoured/broken ones :)

Ethylred · 21/05/2017 08:37

"I end up shouting"... they learn a lot from that, not much of it good.

thenewaveragebear1983 · 21/05/2017 08:38

I have a 20mth old and a nearly 5 year old.
I feel your pain. It's impossible to separate them, and I want them to play together, that's why we had them! (The kids not the toys)

They each have a small box with 'specials' in, but 5yo is still in the habit of leaving his specials lying around for 20mth to grab. All the rest are fair game. I do like a pp and remove the worst offenders.

Current rage inducers- the left hand seat of the sofa; a brown blanket on the sofa; a small batman figure, and a frog with stretchy legs. Also, even though we have possibly 15 cushions in our lounge, they both want the same one but that changes daily.

It's a magical, magical time.

Cagliostro · 21/05/2017 08:51

My MN crashed again 😡 Sorry I see you have already weeded out some toys. That's good. I would do it again a couple more times but being more selective about what's good enough to keep :)

Must actually take my own advice, ours have built up again quite dramatically 😳 They do just amass so much Stuff!

emesis · 21/05/2017 08:53

"I end up shouting"... they learn a lot from that, not much of it good.

I think she knows that, that's why she's looking for solutions.

booellesmum · 21/05/2017 08:59

I had a 3 year age gap between mine and feel your pain.
I went the route of "Oh dear, if you can't play nicely together with it then I'd better have it." After a while they stop coming to complain as often as they know what the outcome will be and start to cooperate. Note I said as often!
When they were a bit older and it was "She did this" and " But she did that first " my response was always " Oh dear, but I can't really comment as I wasn't there to see it - you'd better go to your separate rooms if you can't get on together." I would then have a quiet afternoon with a cup of tea until they were bored enough to suddenly make up and come down and play together.
I wish you luck though, it isn't easy!

witsender · 21/05/2017 09:01

We only have a selection, always have. There is the odd row but not many considering. They play with sticks a lot too. 😂

Toysaurus · 21/05/2017 09:53

This is one problem I've never had. One child has their own toys, the other has their own toys and there's a few they share like Playmobil. We never cross the streams and it works well.

NorthumbrianGirl · 21/05/2017 09:58

Arf at bear

We have a rule that if the dds (6 and 4 yo) fight over a toy it goes away.

I also spend a lot of time asking them "What would be fair?" Normally they agree to have 5 min turns each (measured by kitchen timer).

NapQueen · 21/05/2017 10:00

Ours still have the odd disagreement but generally whoever had it first has it. The other then has to find something else to play with until the origional toy is free.

If something like Playmobil is being played with then one has the school and the other has the house and they end up "visiting" each other or whatever.

Fragglez · 21/05/2017 10:05

Pfb is only 6m so not a problen here... Yet...

Dm solved arguments like this with 'whose is it?!' that was the end, it went to it's owner.

She did have a sister that systematically wrecked all her stuff though.

BarbarianMum · 21/05/2017 11:25

That's fine if it's six ofone and half a dozen of thevother booelle. But a bit shit if oe of your children is constantly making a grab for the others toys. Then all you teach the less dominant child is to always give in for a quiet life because their feelings are less important than yours or their siblings. Nice.

bojorojo · 21/05/2017 11:46

I think children learn by this type of disagreement. The younger one has to stand up for themselves with a bit of intervention from you and the older one has to respect the younger ine. Also with three years difference their playing needs are totally different. It is too easy for the older one to dominate. You could reduce the toys. Ours fitted into 3 crates housed in the bottom of a cupboard. We had games and colouring books plus reading books on the shelves above. You cannot really expect them to play nicely together as they have different needs. Try and get the older one to be more self sufficient and sit at a table to do colouring or play dough. Make it clear they are individuals and expect good behaviour from both. Any squabbling over a toy, it gets removed. Only one box out at a time. It's tough though, isn't it?

RandomMess · 21/05/2017 11:49

Have you tried being strict with "taking turns" and using a timer?

RandomMess · 21/05/2017 11:51

Ah I was like Northumbrian Girl, we also had very few toys that belonged to a particular child there were nearly all "shared" toys, and toys are for sharing...

Shelby2010 · 21/05/2017 12:00

I also have a 3yr age gap. The problem I find is that it's more often the older one having to give in to the younger ones tantrums. So I make a conscious effort not to expect the older DD to always be the one to compromise just because she's the eldest. And to be fair the younger one is more likely to be the one grabbing the toys off the older one & then screaming blue murder when it gets taken back.

What they haven't realised yet is that because their voices are always so loud, I can get a pretty good idea of what's going on even from the next room!

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