His dad and I recently divorced, though we have been separated for about 3 years.
I struggle with ds's temper at times and he has been known to hit out and swear - though none of this ever emerges at school, where he is the model pupil. I'm not sure how he behaves with his dad as we don't communicate that much, though I would like to rectify this. Both dc claim they are as bad with dad, however 
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The other night we were having our usual conflict over bedtime, the need to do reading / spellings/ have a shower. I was showing my frustration by asking why he makes things so hard sometimes, when he suddenly said, "look, life is hard, mum, that's just how it is." I asked what he meant and he elaborated that he finds it hard to be between two homes, have split parents, that it rains sometimes when he wants to go outside, that his brother annoys him by sitting on him etc etc. He then, with a little prompting, talked about the things that make him happy.
At the end he said, unprompted, that it was all ok anyway as "You need to be sad sometimes otherwise you wouldn't appreciate it when you are happy."
It has played on my mind since. Is he unhappy and have we ruined his life? What can I do to rectify things?