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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

WWYD about splitting this bill?

20 replies

INeedABiggerBoat · 20/05/2017 18:19

Would appreciate some MN advice on this one!

Going for a weekend away with a group of friends who I share a hobby with - getting an AirBnb place. Very relaxed, everyone taking turns cooking etc. We've been emailing about our food list, with everyone agreeing to just split the cost between us - no-one has any allergies/ dietary requirements, so we'll more or less be eating the same thing.

Except one person has just asked that we add champagne to the list. I am teetotal (and have just been made redundant so not feeling super-flush).

When I've gone on weekends away with other groups of friends in the past we've all split the food bill then separately brought drinks of choice. Obviously sharing does go on, but by and large I get to drink the non-alcoholic drinks I've bought, and everyone else gets to drink the beer/ wine/ champbers they prefer.

This is the first time I've gone away with this particular group of hobby friends, so I'd naively assumed we'd do a similar thing. I'm not sure if the person who asked is fully aware that I'm teetotal - a few of them do though because they've bought me drinks (and vice versa) in the past.

Can I ask your advice on how to suggest that we either bring our own drinks or ask that I don't have to contribute to the alcohol buying and that I'll bring my own non-alcoholic drinks? Do I try to formulate a light-hearted group email or wait until the weekend and raise it with whoever's doing the calculations then? This is a really lovely group of people but from lurking on MN for years I'm really worried about being seen as cheap. Maybe I am being cheap, but I don't really think it's fair to pay for bottles of wine and champagne that I'm not going to touch!

Gosh, sorry that was long. Didn't want to dripfeed (although undoubtedly I'll have forgotten some crucial bit of info).

OP posts:
LRDtheFeministDragon · 20/05/2017 18:22

I think you're overthinking! Just email everyone back with 'sorry, I'm a non-drinker so count me out of the booze budget'.

dementedpixie · 20/05/2017 18:23

Is there a group chat? Just say you don't drink and that the alcohol bill can either be split between the drinkers or each to pay for their own and you will sort your own drinks out

harderandharder2breathe · 20/05/2017 18:23

It's not cheap to not want to fund other people's drinking!

Yanbu to say let's all sort our own beverages out and everyone pay for their own.

NoSquirrels · 20/05/2017 18:25

Just email back & suggest alcohol is kept on a separate bill?

Ditsy1980 · 20/05/2017 18:25

I go away with a group of friends each year. We all drink but while we split the food bill we don't order alcohol on the joint order and bring our own drinks.
I'd just message back and say prefer to bring own drinks so not to include them on the food order.

harderandharder2breathe · 20/05/2017 18:26

Actually ignore my post, I agree with PP (cross posted) just tell them you're opting out of the booze budget as you don't drink, and let them sort themselves out

You're definitely not being cheap

peekyboo · 20/05/2017 18:27

People don't usually process if you're teetotal - they listen at the time then go back to assuming everyone drinks, so don't assume the other friends remember.
There's no reason for you to pay for any alcohol, let them split it as they'll be drinking it.

FloatyCat · 20/05/2017 18:29

Another yes to emailing the group and saying you'll opt out of the boozing and bring your own stuff. It's fine to say that.
It's a bit cheeky IMO to ask for champagne to be in the budget!

jelliebelly · 20/05/2017 18:29

Definitely not being cheap! Simply breezy group message reminding you are teetotal so don't count you in the drinks budget!

TheWitTank · 20/05/2017 18:30

Agree with the very sensible reply above - just tell them you won't be contributing to booze as you won't be drinking it. Also, champagne tastes like horse piss, so yadnbu to not want to contribute to that!

givemestrengthorgin · 20/05/2017 18:31

I agree with just sending a casual email back. I'm teetotal so won't be chipping in to the alcohol budget. They are two very separate pots of money and you should easily be able to opt out of the drinks one.

PeaFaceMcgee · 20/05/2017 18:32

"I'll opt out of the drinks budget if that's ok, as I'm teetotal :)"

PlaymobilPirate · 20/05/2017 18:33

I'd go with the 'I'm tee total, leave me out of the drinks budget please' so that it alerts them to having a separate one for alcohol

INeedABiggerBoat · 20/05/2017 18:37

Thanks guys. I needed a few calming posts.

I do have a tendency to overthink these things - it's the eager-to-please, wants-everyone-to-like-me side of me coming out. I've sent a very brief, bright email asking to be counted out of the booze budget. Thank you - I'd have sent an overlong, rambling apologetic email without you all talking me down!

OP posts:
Dailystuck71 · 20/05/2017 18:39

Yep, easiest way is to just email everyone back saying as you don't drink, you'll not be contributing to the booze bill.

INeedABiggerBoat · 20/05/2017 18:40

Also TheWitTank - I'm glad you understand! But to me all alcohol tastes like horse piss!

OP posts:
TheManeEvent · 20/05/2017 18:45

Sounds like you've done the right thing. 👍🏻

I wouldn't think you were cheap at all.

mydietstartsmonday · 20/05/2017 18:48

Keep it simple and light hearted.so say, just to let you all know I don't drink, go a head and get the booze between you and I will get the soft drinks I prefer. See you all soon x

TreeTop7 · 20/05/2017 18:53

"Hi all. Count me out of the booze budget. You know me, I'll be on the Ribena all weekend".

ScarlettDarling · 20/05/2017 18:59

Totally reasonable to not want to pay for booze you have no intention of drinking. This is nothing like quibbling over two quid on a restaurant bill. I'm sure your friends won't bat an eyelid at your email.

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