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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

...about my DF trying to "Protect" my feelings?

3 replies

SendintheArdwolves · 20/05/2017 16:55

I've namechanged, not because this is outing or anything, just because it was time for a change. But I've been on here for years -- cutted up pear, SolidGoldBrass, pom bears, washing getting darked on, etc.

I suspect I am being U, but my DF has a habit of leaving out information/little white lies if he thinks I am going to be "upset" by something.

Recently an extended family member died -- it was not unexpected, and the person was very elderly, although still sad. My DF went into great detail about how peaceful her end was (he was not present) and how she had been given greater and greater amounts of painkillers until 'she just drifted off'. I have since found out that her end was nothing like that. I can see why he might not have gone into the more upsetting bits, but why supply these wholly fake and totally unnecessary details? He does it with other stuff too, but it's especially prevalent around health issues, to the point where I don't really trust what he says - for example, he told me a few years ago that an uncle had "a bit of a dodgy ticker" and that could have meant anything from "mild angina when climbing stairs" to "is having a quadruple bypass".

I find it really patronising and enraging - I guess he treats me like a child and I react like a teenager! WIBU for me to say something to him like "Dad, I know that you think you are doing it for the best, but I would rather you told me the truth about things like this. Why do you feel like you need to control the information I receive?"

Or do I just let it go?

OP posts:
DoloresTheRunawayTrain · 20/05/2017 17:03

It's possible he can't actually handle passing on bad news so edits it so he doesn't have to think about anything too difficult. Yanbu and at least now you know if you want an unedited version of events you are going to have to contact someone else for it.

PeaFaceMcgee · 20/05/2017 17:05

Ywnbu.

pipsqueak25 · 20/05/2017 17:11

may be he can't give the facts but fabricating a lot of crap doesn't help either. yanbu. but some like to know things that others do not it can be a bit of a power trip to some people.

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