To feel sorry for this grandma?

[RebelRogue]

Kid in DD's class. Her parents don't work weekends but only grandma(who lives with them) takes kid to parties. Thing is she doesn't speak english at all, so spends 2-3 hours sitting by herself,not talking to anybody. Plus the awkwardness of attempted conversation from others where she just smiles and nods. All requests or info get passed through the child if she can be separated from her friends. The woman can't even ask for a glass of water or whatever.
I know it's none of my business, but IABU to feel a bit sad for her?

yanbu, it will always be difficult if someone doesn't speak english, perhaps you could offer a drink via the dc, but then a smile costs nothing and you sound like a caring person.

Presumably the kid and the grandma can communicate. Get the child to translate

There is a family in my dc school where the non English speaking grandmother does all of the drop offs/pick-ups even though the mother (who is fluent in english) is a SAHM. Apparently grandma loves getting out, seeing the different faces, going for a walk etc and if needs be asks one of the dgc to translate. She seems quiet but if you smile at her she often starts chatting away in her own language I don't feel sorry for her at all, she seems happy enough.

Any chance you could learn a few words? She's probably quite happy but might appreciate a kind word.

Oh I do say hi,point at things and smile like a lunatic as a way of communication.
I just think the kid's parents could take her sometimes. Dunno... we had parties for 3 kids last weekend,one of them 3 hours. Me and OH took it in turns to avoid just one of us going through the madness of them all.

Maybe Grandma would rather sit and listen to other people chatting than sit at home all the time.

Maybe try to learn a couple of phrases in her language, or use google translate if you want to ask her if she would like something to eat/ drink?

Scooz will do,well will try at least. Dunno she seems a bit lonely and sad on the day even if she's always smiling when making eye contact. Kinda like the odd kid on the outside looking in.
I might be overthinking it though.

Do you know what language she speaks?

This happened when my youngest was at school, he became friends with a lovely Chinese boy who had perfect English but his grandma didn't. I felt so sorry for her she was always smiling and bowing at me, so I got my soon to ask his friend how to say hello to her in her language, we spent ages on google and got a few words together. She appreciated it so much she smiled and bowed even more, I felt under pressure to learn the whole language. She even had me round for tea while the boys played, she stumbled over a few words of English, me of Mandarin , while it was a bit awkward at times it felt very friendly and happy. The family moved away at the end of term, his dad worked at the uni and the family were used to travelling a lot. I thinking learning a few words will help, neither you nor her will get the words right, both will smile and laugh but she will appreciate you trying.

Yes i know what language she speaks. So fas i only recognise yes and no in her language.

Mozart that sounds really lovely.

I wondered whether it was a language that someone else might speak? I know its a long shot but it's if it's a fairly common language then there's a chance.

Sadly no. No one else in the class. I also speak (well I understand more than I manage to mumble) a couple but it's neither of those,and while we both are from the same region in Europe,our native languages are completely different.

Ooh, can you tell us? I'm sure we can cobble together a few pleasantaries for you!

Bulgarian. I will have a nose on Google translate when the next party invite arrives.

I wouldn't use that - it's often a bit off and we had a polish cleaner at work (she came in about 4am) in stitches when we tried to leave a note to ask her to stop unplugging some piece of kit (which had a big note saying 'dont unplug' and piece of masking tape over the plug) to do the hoovering.

I'm not sure I'd feel terribly sorry for her I'm afraid. Presumably she lives here (and again presumably, we are talking about the UK?) but it doesn't sound like she's making any effort to learn English if she can't even ask for a glass of water. If it bothered her that much, she'd be at least trying to learn the language, so maybe she's quite happy on her own.

I'm awful at languages and very shy. I'd be terrible in her situation.

Perhaps she came over with the family (I know families who have moved over and dragged along poor widowed mum or grandma who haven't really wanted to be uprooted).

I find www.dict.cc/ quite good for words and phrases - you can't put whole sentences in, but it's usually right. I've communicated with a Bulgarian speaker using it to warn her about the ticks in the long grass at the playground... But I also use it for a language I speak fairly well and work in but have to check things quite often, and it's usually fairly reliable.

I like bablefish better than Google translate for longer texts, but it's still a bit mad.

If it bothered her that much then she'd try and learn a little surely? I don't see the issue if she isn't bothered enough to do that? Smiling and translating through the child is enough really.

Maybe she could learn the language of the country she lives in? I come across this all the time at work - people who have been in the uk for 10 or more years and communicate by gesture. It must be horribly isolating but not learning the language is a choice they have made.

She came here to look after the kid,as her daughter and son in law both work. Must be hard to learn a new language when you're quite older,not particularly tech savvy I assume (old nokia phone,not a smartphone),a small child to look after (including weekends) and they only speak bulgarian at home

Well you can't make her learn English or punish her for not doing so!

We used to know lots of expats in France with very basic 'ooone ba-gette por fa-vor' linguistic skills.

I'm a language teacher: there are a minority of people who simply aren't capable of learning a language. Also, the older you get the harder it is. For someone who finds it very difficult and is also old, it's REALLY not as simple as saying they should just learn the language".

I'm crap at languages. I can read them ok but speaking is torture!

Dh is the opposite and I swear he has a babel fish as he just picks up languages when he goes abroad. He says it's easy.