To change DD's nursery due to uncomfortable feelings

[messedupton]

DD goes to nursery 3 days a week whilst I work from home. She goes to a fantastic nursery, she's settled in very well and has been there for 2 years and has progressed so much with her speech. She starts school in September.

The problem is me.

I have inappropriate feelings towards one of the nursery nurses. She's fantastic with DD, very beautiful, we have similar interests. And she's flirty with me as I am with her. Among other things. I have DP and she has a DH.

Posted too soon.

I keep asked DF or DM to take DD to nursery because every time I see this woman, Im thinking of her, and have sexual dreams regarding her.

Aibu to move DD to a different nursery so close to her starting school in September?

I'd never do anything about my feelings towards this woman, I love DP far too much for that. I'm not sure if this is just a stupid crush.

If your dd likes it there, I would continue to put her there. There's nothing wrong with sexual dreams about other people, humans are sexual beings and to try and deny you find her attractive won't change anything. Just enjoy the feelings for what they are....a crush. I think your trying to avoid her is making it into a much bigger thing in your head than it is.

Even nuns have sexy dreams!

You aren't going to act on this crush. And it will pass given time. It would be very unfair for your dd to change nurseries now when she is settled and leaving in 3 months. This would possibly have a negative affect on her emotional wellbeing so I definitely wouldn't do it. You are an adult, she is a child and it is important that you deal with your feelings in an adult way without impacting on a 3/4 yr old.

Don't do it! Think of your little girl.

Tbh I wouldn't move DD anyway. She's come along so much since being there. The staff are fantastic, know what they are doing and you can tell how much they care for the kids.

I think my AIBU is more about this crush. Since getting with my DP I've never had feelings like this towards anyone else. DP has had every affection.

Tbh I feel very guilty and I think I posted in here to get a rollocking about it.

Again, I'd NEVER do anything.

You are doing all the right things. Keep contact to a minimum and whenever you think about her remind yourself of the cost: your marriage, your DC, your home, your self respect.

How exactly are you flirty with each other?

Don't move her. The likelihood is you would move her and develop a crush on someone else. The crush (I would guess) isn't the problem, it's a symptom. What's going on that there is room for a crush in your life?

This situation has a very limited life. It's not long at all until September. Then you will move on.

I very much doubt this woman is being flirty with you. She is being friendly and probably has a warm and open nature, and you are over-interpreting this.

no don't move your daughter just control yourself and avoid her as much as possible. don't flirt!

is your partner a woman, too or are you shocked for fancying a woman?

Stop flirting with her and if she is flirting with you she is being very unprofessional and disrespectful toward the mother of one of her charges. So how about being offended on behalf of your partner for the fuck you she's giving her? You don't love her very much or have any respect if you can flirt with a woman and let her flirt back.

Of course do not move your child now!

As above, are you sure she's flirting? how much do you see that woman? Drop in and pick up, that can litterally take 2 minutes including a quick chat about what your kid has been up to that day.

If you start having crushes, you should start working on your relationship. Nothing wrong with flirting, it means nothing and is harmless fun but it's not on when it's on your kids school ground!

Try to avoid flirting. Keep the relationship professional. I don't think regular flirting with the same person is healthy when you're in a relationship, plus she has a professional role in your daughter's life.

It's a crush. I've had 3 big crushes (in succession, a couple of years back) since I've been with my DH. We're still together, I flipping adore him, and I feel like a goose when I look back on those daft crushes.

It's not long till September - after that your feelings will probably pass pretty quickly.

I say leave her be.

Just to make it clear I'm female, my DP is male but I have made out with women before and obviously fancied women.

The nursery is very small and I have a good relationship with nursery so majority of the time it's not a 2 min drop off/pick up unless I'm really in a rush.

The flirting, I know because I've seen her with other parents (male and female) but she's not like that with them.

I don't have time or patience for a crush. Sex life with DP is good, we are very affectionate so I have no idea where this has come from.

Feel shit because I've been with DP 8 years and not once in that time has this happened before!

there really are only a few months/weeks left.

alternatively try and turn yourself off her

I mean this in a nice way - get a grip.

Adults are able to manage and control a crush.

What @Chloe84 said.
You're not an animal and can control yourself from jumping on her so how about putting your daughter's happiness and wellbeing first, where it should be.