To be pissed at DH again over DS1

[TooMuchJD]

DS1 is 17, goes college, has Saturday job, does chores daily, generally ok behaviour wise, no drink/drug issues, doesn't stay out every weekend, pays his own bus fares, buys own clothes etc.
He is my DS and DH's stepson.
He's gone to see some bands at under 18's night in town, was happy catch the bus home at 11pm, I was apprehensive in a mum way, he missed the bus but waiting for next one at 11.30pm - no curfew just agreed this is what he would do. (Kept me informed by text).
I expressed concern that he would hanging around town for 30 mins, so ask DH should I go fetch him to put my mind at rest? Massive row for next 20 mins about it resulting in some very nasty comments and DH storming off to bed citing divorce!
I felt it was normal and reasonable to feel concerned, DH disagreed stating if he was old enough to go out he was old enough to get himself home and I shouldn't "mollycoddle" DS?
Bit confused and seriously pissed off at the mo tbh

[DotForShort]

Oh, no. Why in the name of all that's holy are you still with this man? He has been abusive to you and your elder son for years. I feel so sorry for that boy, having to put up with this treatment for so long. I really hope he manages to get away from his stepfather's poisonous presence in the near future, even if you can't/won't.

Of course, I feel for you too. It sounds as though you are caught up in a cycle of abuse and I know how difficult it can be to break free from that. But as an adult you have had choices and options that your son has never had.

[Fishface77]

I sometimes wish people WERE trolls so this kind of shit didn't go on in real life

[Waltermittythesequel]

Toomuch why do you keep posting and disappearing?

Seriously, what is it? Do you think you'll find someone who will agree with your sustained and constant abuse of your children? Because make no mistake, you are as complicit as your husband.

[NotYoda]

I wonder whether it's drink-related. She posts late at night when she's had a few JDs

We had another poster a while back who posted about her awful husband and had the name of an alcoholic beverage in her username

[Squeegle]

I also think that toomuch may be in denial; it's so hard to make the changes you need to in this situation. Don't forget that when you are the victim of abuse you lose any confidence. You honestly think that your own opinions are worthless. To come on here and ask the questions that toomuch did, shows her lack of self esteem. I get it cos I was there. I don't think it helps to harangue the OP and tell her she should be ashamed of herself- for someone whose self esteem is already rock bottom, how is that going to help? It really is a question of helping OP to see the reality i.e. She is not unreasonable; he is deeply unreasonable.

[Queenofthestress]

Why the bloody hell are you with this man?! I've re-read some of your old posts, and he sounds awful, maybe you need to think about seeing someone and finding out why you've stayed with him