To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

[RestingBitch]

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

[JuicyStrawberry]

When my DS who has an invisible disability needs to use the loo, I take him in to the disabled loo because he has every right to use it. Just because it isn't visible doesn't mean it's not there. People need to remember this when they challenge people coming out of a disabled loo who can walk.

Now I've got that off my chest...

[BeyondStrongAndStable]

Op must have forgotten to disclose her /her child's invisible disability. Silly her.

[MusicToMyEars800]

I have only ever used the disabled toilet when I was on the brink of wetting myself, and was absolutely desperate when my dds were babies, if not I would find the closest mother/baby toilets, it won't hurt for you to hold it in for a few mins to get to the closest one, but saying that where I live there are loads that can be found in the town.

[Sirzy]

I don't think anyone had for a second suggested it shouldn't be used by people with invisible disabilities.

Sadly the entitled "I have a baby so therefore I can use it" type people will make people more suspicious of other users as so many do abuse it.

[QueenArseClangers]

We were at a local farm attraction last month when my DS who is ASD and has sensory issues needed a wee.
Couldn't get to the disabled loo as so many parents were queuing with prams and couldn't be arsed going through explaining whilst DS was on the verge of meltdown.
I have 5 kids: you either piss with the door open and pushchair facing you, put baby on your knee or carry child in a sling.

So many people are fucking oblivious and selfish.

[deliverdaniel]

genuine (non trolling) question for disabled people or anyone who knows a lot about this.

In this situation what counts as a disability? Is it like a blue badge kind of thing, where you need to be registered somehow? Or is it anyone who genuinely needs to get into a toilet quickly eg someone w v weak pelvic floor/ bowel incontinence after childbirth (ie need to use a loo instantly) or a bad episode of gastric flu for eg? MN is the only place that I've really heard strong feelings about this expressed (and almost certainly rightly so) but would like to know what in this situation counts as a disabiity and what doesn't . (I ask this as someone who had terrible problems after childbirth myself.)

[Sirzy]

beyond if they ever come back I am sure that will be drip fed added information

[MumsGoneToYonderLand]

i disagree with the majority. If the accessible toilet is free, use it, if you have a disability or not. Why queue up for 10 minutes (often the case or longer at airports, busy shopping centres etc) when a perfectly good loo is free?
i am often by myself at airports and the accessible loo is the only one i can get my cases in.

if people have a very urgent need what happens when someone else outside has a very urgent need? where does the line end?
for god sake its just some weird militancy. Its very rare indeed that anyone is waiting outside the loo and its usually a mum with a pram.

sorry if it offends i will continue to use them.
ps worked with disabled people for many years (in disability policy), we discussed many aspects of disability but for most disabled people there are seriously bigger issues to worry about. like discrimination in the workplace, accessible streets, benefits, support needs...

by the way i hate the phrase 'disabled loo'. the toilet is not disabled, is it?

[mirime]

But never mind, don't wanna chance your pfb getting nicked, do you.

You don't understand why that might be a worry? It might be rare but if you're the unlucky one the consequences are massive and probably pretty much every parents worst nightmare.

[Sirzy]

Using a disabled toilet for suitcases? Well at least the previous poster who used it to breastfeed is no longer the most unreasonable on the thread!

[wrenika]

But surely if the toilet was occupied by a disabled person...the next disabled person would have to wait two minutes, probably more?

(And I do say this as someone who struggles with digestive issues and has had many 'not quick enough' moments!)

[BeyondStrongAndStable]

Deliver, any long term disabling condition counts as a disability. So yes, severe pelvic floor problems following childbirth, but ideally not gastric flu. IBS would count too, that's one that gets asked a lot on these threads too.

[IDontLoveGlitterGlitterLovesMe]

You have a baby, not a disability.

[BeyondStrongAndStable]

The accessible workplace and accessible streets won't be too fond of sharing the space after I shit myself. So yes, toilets are a high priority, regardless of what "some people" may have said.

[PodgeBod]

But baby changing facilities are almost always in the disabled toilet so what difference does it really make if it's you having a quick wee instead of changing your baby? It's probably quicker if anything.
I would never leave my child outside the cubicle and sorry but I'm not going with the door open! I've never seen anybody else do it either.
And as for the comment about don't want to risk your pfb being nicked that is ridiculous. A child being kidnapped is far worse then somebody having to wait to use the loo or even having an accident ffs even if it is unlikely.

[DJBaggySmalls]

deliverdaniel Incontinence is bad but you wouldn't need a larger cubicle or one with a door thats easy to open. And you'd use pads.
I'm too disabled to use most of the toilets in the local hospital or supermarket as they use heavy fire doors. I cant physically open the door to get out.

[BeyondStrongAndStable]

A thought re an able person with gastric flu. I have a compromised immune system, and that isn't rare amongst disabled people. Is it fair to put someone at risk like that?

[Me624]

Baby change facilities are almost always in disabled toilets anyway. If I've gone in one to change DS and then I need a wee myself, I'm not going to come out and queue separately for the ladies and mess around trying to get an end cubicle with the pushchair outside the door. I wouldn't go out of my way to use one if I didn't need to change DS though. Most of the time I'd be with DH or meeting a friend who could watch the baby, or if I was on my own I'd just hold it in until I got home ... I think if I was really desperate I'd probably ask someone else in the loo to keep an eye on the baby while I nipped for a wee.

[JuicyStrawberry]

but never mind, don't wanna chance your pfb getting nicked, do you.

Have to say I'm a bit shocked by this comment. I don't think anyone wants to risk their baby getting taken do they?

There have been plenty of times where my DS has needed the loo and the disabled one is in use, and someone comes out with a pram. I never think things like the above ^^. Am I supposed to have this sort of attitude?

[Sirzy]

But dj if someone has long term incontincence problems and the closest toilet is the disabled one then they certainly should use that one rather than walk past/have to queue.

Incontinence is a disability which effects toileting so will of course mean at times someone needs to use the disabled toilet.

They may also need the space to change.

[joannegrady90]

TABU

As someone who works with disabled persons I have many times had to wait a long time as someone has changed their baby/small child. This has often resulted in said person soiling themselves and means their day us ruined and often impacts for several days.

Please don't use them unless your disabled.

[Sirzy]

Most disabled toilets are actually pretty rubbish at meeting the needs of the disabled people who actually need them anyway. They are a box ticking exercise with very little thought applied.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

I'm really uncomfortable with all the able-bodied people telling OP (and each other) when it is and isn't okay to use disabled facilities. The opinions of disabled people are the only ones that matter.

[frustratedddd]

I think the worst thing I've done is breast feed in one and the baby was taking such a long feed I felt bad when I got out as there was someone who needed it. But then there was no where I felt comfortable to bf.

Seriously?

That is so unreasonable I don't even know where to start. You don't get to hog the disabled toilet to feed your kid. Never mind a long feed. How unbelievably selfish.

I think it's fine to be very quick, literally in and out in a minute or 2 if you need the space to manage a baby or young child in a pram. But if the child can be removed and taken to stand up in a cubicle then you should do that.

I wouldn't leave a baby unattended outside a cubicle in a pram.

I manage just fine taking my 4 year old in a standard cubicle with me nowadays though. And have done since about 18 months old.