To use the disabled loo when I'm with my son?

[RestingBitch]

My sons 9 months and obviously still in his pushchair. The majority of the time it's just me and him when I go into town/visit places. When I need the loo I get an attack of conscious, I normally use the disabled loo so I can bring him in with me.
Can't use a regular loo as I can't get him in the cubicle in his chair. Don't want to take him out of his pushchair and plonk him on the floor as the floors are manky and he will eat whatever is on the floor. He'll also probably try and crawl under the gap and interrupt someone else. Don't really like the idea of leaving him in his pushchair whilst I nip in the cubicle, so providing there isn't someone waiting for the disabled loos, AIBU to use them? I'm usually in and out and so far I've never encountered anyone waiting for one, or the impatient rattle of the door. If I am being unreasonable, short of pissing myself what's the options?

Not a troll, and don't work for any newspapers :).

[Billben]

I think the worst thing I've done is breast feed in one and the baby was taking such a long feed I felt bad when I got out as there was someone who needed it. But then there was no where I felt comfortable to bf.

Utterly selfish behaviour. You not feeling comfortable to BF is your problem, nobody else's.

[MaybeNextWeek]

'Unless I want to piss my pants or have the cubicle open whilst I'm taking a shit, I'm going in the,"accessibility" toilets. They don't actually say disabled.'

What a charming attitude and you sound so proud of yourself too.

[hazeyjane]

Every one saying you are unreasonable clearly don't have tiny babies! Plus not all disabilities are visible so nobody can really judge you.

You are doing nothing wrong.

I've had 3 tiny babies, 3 under 4 at one point. Yes it's a faff, everything with tiny babies is a faff, but it's a short lived faff, and it does compare with disability.

[FastForward2]

No reason you should not use disabled toilets if there is no one waiting.

[hazeyjane]

Oh, and yes you could say you have hidden disabilities, and what a charmer you would be. Honestly, why can't people just gave a go at not being at arseholes.

[Northgate]

I found it useful to check out all the toilet facilities in places I go at least semi-regularly, to see how pushchair friendly they are. This is easiest done with another adult in tow to mind the baby.

So for instance, having done this, I know that nearby big out of town shopping centre has several large family toilets (separate to the disabled ones) that can easily fit a pushchair. Local town, local park and local farm park each have one non-disabled toilet cubicle big enough for my pushchair. And so on.

Helps me to avoid the leaving baby outside the cubicle scenario.

[anon1987]

Purpledaiseys my dd is disabled, and I don't have a problem with it.
My grandmother has crohns and she manages.
There is most likely to be more then one 'eligible' person needing to use the loo anyway.
What do you suppose people should do when they the baby change facilities are In the accessible loo??

What if there is a function for disabled people going on in a hotel for example, they'd have to queue.

[twelly]

There are lots of variables depending upon the needs to both the person with a disability and the mother with young baby, I am not sure it is clear cut. Therefore each situation is different and would vary .

[FeralBeryl]

haven't answered on one of these for a while so...

I had 2 under 2.

I left pram outside the toilets and asked people to keep an eye on it.

I held newborn with one arm.

I stood toddler against cubicle door.

I weed.

It was fine.

It's about preparation, if you know you're somewhere with a great toilet/family room, make everyone wee there before you traipse off and get somewhere inaccessible.
I'm also a fan of the 'potty in a car boot' antics.
Preparation is something a lot of disabled people don't have the luxury of.
It's not about them sitting comfortably in a chair waiting, it's often the difference between them humiliatingly soiling themselves.

[DailyMailReadersAreThick]

There is most likely to be more then one 'eligible' person needing to use the loo anyway.

Yes. And this is an argument for people who can use the non-accessible toilets to use them. I'm not sure why you're using it to argue against that.

[ghostyslovesheets]

Yabu - but I'm guessing this is goady fuckery since you haven't come back

Next time I get an attack of explosive bloody poo I'll think of you!

[anon1987]

Dailymail it's called accessible for a reason and 9/10 the baby change facilities are in them too.

[PurpleDaisies]

What do you suppose people should do when they the baby change facilities are In the accessible loo??

Well, obviously if there are baby change facilities people can use them. I don't think it's ideal that they're put in there and o hope more new buildings will have a different room with them in.

Your example of a function for disabled peolld isn't remotely relevant. We're talking about everyday life here.

[Sirzy]

If the only baby change is in them then it's bad planning but of course people need to use them. However that doesn't give people the right to take the piss.

[hazeyjane]

Oh that's ok then anon, if your dd has disabilities and says it's ok, then that's fine, crack on everyone!

Stop saying, well if a disabled person was in there you'd have to wait - yes of course that is the case, but if everyone else uses it too, then there is a never ending bloody queue. It's a ridiculous argument.

[Mustang27]

Sorry I didn't think that I had to list my life long disabilities to any one on fecking mn.

Really couldnt give a shit wether you think I have a disability or not I have to deal with that crap on a daily basis when I'm getting stared at for parking In a disabled space even with my blue badge.

What would you have me do start wearing a permanently disabled badge on my body not to piss other people off.

As a disabled person I do not see the problem, having a baby is not the same as a disability but it can be hard and iv never judged anyone that has been in the loo before me with their wee ones same as the person before that's not been in a wheelchair or the adult carer for someone with mental health issues.

[MaybeNextWeek]

'What about if the disabled toilet is engaged by another disabled person? You, as a disabled person still have to wait.'

Of course they do, statistically though I'd imagine there are less disabled people shopping than mothers who seemingly can't manage to shop without using toilets designed for disabled people. You can't stop people doing it but please stop trying to convince yourself it's ok. It isn't.

[Somersetlady]

Apologies if its already been said up thread but in all scenarios people seem to forget the diasbled toilet could be in use by someone who is also disabled. What happens then?

I have been a blue badge holder and am grateful no longer to be. I would not have been upset if a mother and baby was using the disabled toilet not to breast feed! briefly before me. Its no different than another disabled user although quite frankly op you are likely to be far quicker!

[JuicyStrawberry]

What if I my son (the one with the invisible disability) was waiting for the loo which was occupied, and someone in a wheelchair came along? This hasn't happened yet but I feel like I would be expected to let the person in the wheelchair go ahead but why should DS have to wait just because his disability isn't visible? And if I don't let them go ahead, explain myself 🙄

[BeyondStrongAndStable]

I love that people who think it is fine to take accessible facilities away from disabled people think that I am being abhorrent for suggesting that your belief that someone is going to steal your baby is largely irrational.

[Tonyshep]

YANBU.

Generally, people have mental and physical impairments that gives them a disability within society.

However, many toilets are there for accessibility too. You have an accessibility need (due to keeping your child safe) so it is perfectly reasonable.

[CaptainBrickbeard]

I'm really disturbed by the people saying 'it makes no difference if no one is waiting'. Can you honestly not understand what the consequence would be if everyone was that selfish? What on earth is wrong with people? Changing facilities shouldn't be in the accessible toilets but when they are then yes, use them to change a baby. Don't extrapolate from that scenario to think that somehow justifies you using them whenever you feel like it! You don't know when someone else, who has the right to use it, will need them.

Also, to say 'a disabled person would have to wait if another disabled person was using it' - again, is anyone genuinely so stupid as to not understand the difference? Or so selfish they will just look for any way to convince themselves their behaviour is somehow acceptable? One disabled persons has as much right as another disabled person to use the toilets provided specifically for disabled people. If you aren't disabled, you don't have the right to use them. So disabled people may have to wait for each other; they shouldn't have to wait for you as well!

Having a tiny baby, needing to breastfeed or having a lot of suitcases are not disabilities. How on earth can anyone believe that those things give you the right to take things which belong to disabled people from them??

[BeyondStrongAndStable]

Oh and yes I have had young children. Lucky me, I could justifiably use the accessible toilet when I did. Bet you're all so jealous.

[anon1987]

Hazeyjane use your common sense. They're now called accessible and it's for a good reason.

If someone left their baby outside a toilet to go to the loo, and then the baby was taken, that person would be slammed for it.
Adding to this, when you have several children (as I do) I'm not going to leave all my children (when they were little) outside the toilet including my baby.

[Kalinka16]

If I'm out with the buggy, then I'll use a disabled loo. I can't bring buggy into a regular cubicle, I'm not prepared to leave child in buggy outside my locked cubicle whilst I go in, and also not going to bring child in with me and leave buggy unattended outside.
In all the years I've done this, I've only once found someone waiting outside and never had to claim "priority" entry. And anyway, all the baby changes are in the disabled loos where I come from.
As soon as child is not in buggy anymore, then of course I use the regular ladies loos.