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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think that driving lessons don't teach you how to drive

58 replies

catgirl1976 · 19/05/2017 14:41

I passed my driving test on Tuesday (hurray!) at the ripe old age of 40

But....now I don't think I can drive.

I learned in a nice nippy car, now it's DH's massive Saab

I've driven once to school and back with DH in the car and he was so jittery it put me off

Then I took it out to the corner shop just so I had driven on my own. I couldn't park the fecking thing when I got home and smashed the front licence plate on NDN tow bar

Please tell me everyone is like this and does anyone have any tips for driving?

I learned to park the instructors specific car using a specific set of markers at the test centre to park in a specific bayand parallel parking which was fine because there was never a jeffing car behind us when we did the manoeuvre. I now feel I can only park in the test centre car park or on an empty road. None of which is much use in real life :(

I'm scared to get back in the car in case I stack it.

OP posts:
Viviene · 19/05/2017 15:42

What everyone else said - practice, practice, practice.

I drive a mid sized car and once got a tiny 107 as a courtesy car. I kid you not, I could not park this bloody thing anywhere. I can park my car (twice the size of 107) with my eyes closed but every new car takes time to get used to.

You will get there. I used to be horrible just after I passed my test ;-)

19lottie82 · 19/05/2017 15:42

PS if a second car is an option you can lease a smart car for £99 a month with no deposit....... great wee things!

GoldilocksAndTheThreePears · 19/05/2017 15:44

Driving lessons teach you how to pass the test. When I first passed and got a car it was insanely hard to turn, Fiesta with no power steering and a turning circle larger than a small town. So I never reverse parked ever!

Practice as others have said. Go to a car park you know. Then try sorting a route to a car park further away. I found it very helpful to take an extra lesson before I took the test for actual driving not test passing practice, you can do a lesson in your car if you have the money! Or take the advanced course if that's still a thing.

One odd thing that really helped was going to a drive through mcdonalds. Helped me guess spacing much better, oddly enough, being close enough to order, queing, moving away. Weird I know!

Mrsmadevans · 19/05/2017 15:44

This took me back to my first drive on my own I stalled the car so many times I am lolling about it now. OP you will be fine don't fret just try to take your time to get used to the car and being in sole control of it .....good luck

Mrsmadevans · 19/05/2017 15:48

My darling daughter has just said for you to try Pass Plus lessons, she said they will come with you and talk you through the dual carriageways and how to park better .She says loads of ppl do it because they have no confidence.

Crunchyside · 19/05/2017 15:49

YABU - of course you can drive, there is no way you would have passed your test if you couldn't drive. Think of what you had to do on your driving test - negotiate roundabouts, get from A to B by following road signs or without being given specific directions (the "independent driving" part), concentrate on lots of potential hazards at once, do all your safety checks correctly when turning at a junction or changing lane, etc! You couldn't have done any of that if you hadn't learnt anything from driving lessons.

Having said that, there is still plenty more to learn after passing a driving test. I failed to do the reversing round a corner manoeuvre, I didn't manage to get around the corner at all, way too wide, in fact they told me to just give up after a couple of failed attempts at the manoeuvre, but because I did all my safety checks correctly, it was only a minor and I still passed the test. It's funny when I look back on it because now I reverse absolutely flawlessly around a corner every single day as that's how I park my car next to my house, which is on a street corner! You will learn and improve with practice.

PigletWasPoohsFriend · 19/05/2017 15:51

O'll never forget my driving instructor saying to me when I passed my test many years ago, that now was when my learning to drive really started.

He was right.

You will get there. It just takes time.

Congratulations on passing Flowers

changingmylifecompletely28489 · 19/05/2017 15:52

@catgirl1976 driving lessons teach you basic. The rest is up to yourself.

First of all- this is a completely different car with different reactions and most importantly a different SIZE. Therefore you will need to get a sense of how big this car actually is (parking, etc)

You'll be fine, BUT drive EVERYDAY, as often as you can.

InvisibleKittenAttack · 19/05/2017 16:39

Most people who have a family car also practice between driving lessons in the family car so they are learning in the car they will drive, or they end up buying a car similar to the one their driving instructor had, so you have an unusual situation OP!

You can drive, you just have to get used to the different proportions and quirks of this car, all cars are a bit different. I still have to think about how much longer DHs car is when I drive that so I don't reverse it into a wall when reverse parking, and have to be careful not to speed as it doesn't "cry" like mine does when you go over 60.

(Even if he won't admit it, your DH would take a bit to get used to a new car if you replaced it tomorrow with something dramatically different)

InvisibleKittenAttack · 19/05/2017 16:42

Oh and agree, drive daily for at least 3 weeks until you are used to it.

stayathomegardener · 19/05/2017 16:47

DD 18 passed a few weeks ago and our family car is a truck so she is driving that.
So far she only takes it out with someone as she is getting used to the size.
Re parking yes to empty supermarkets and park and ride is great too in towns.
She is looking at it as she is going to be ace at parking... Eventually.

FinallyHere · 19/05/2017 16:49

Absolutely agree, it takes a while to get used to a different car, especially the first few times that you do it. Practice makes perfect, I love the idea of using the tall water bottles in an empty carpark. An industrial estate might be quiet at the weekend.

I have happy memories of a month in the summer, when my best friend had just got a licence (and a car!) We spent most of our time driving round, looking for parking spaces which could be driven i to and out of again, because she wasn't confident reversing. Happy days.

SomewhatIdiosyncratic · 19/05/2017 17:11

I still get spooked by a different car!

I remember finding the early days of driving hard work. A bigger car wasn't so bad, but I'd just moved and had a PITA commute to adjust to straight from the off. I'd learned in dozy suburbs, not an assertive city!

I've never been a fan of DH's car, it's ergonomics for a short arse are pretty poor! I'd rather get out on to the open roads with it than faffing around locally using the gears (next to my hips Hmm) and finding the bite point on his horribly pivoted accelerator.

Get out there and practice. Get used to a range of environments. Pass plus is WELL worth it for motorway/ dual carriageway experience. (My parallel parking has completely atrophied after years of neglect)

You have a driving licence. You can do it. Smile

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 19/05/2017 18:47

Ah thanks everyone - some great advice on here!

I've got some motorway lessons booked as I will have to drive for work (though they are giving me 3 months to get used to driving)

I will do the pass plus and I'm going to spend the weekend practising!

Thanks everyone :) Toot toot! :)

OP posts:
thethoughtfox · 19/05/2017 19:10

I totally understand, I took so long to learn all the markers in the driving instructor's car to help me park etc and got all confused in my own car.

RebootYourEngine · 19/05/2017 19:28

I passed my test earlier this year. I was so scared the first few times i got into my car.

I spent a few nights practising in an empty car park. I took a friend out (one who is completely honest) who boosted my confidence by telling me that i can drive.

I also did a lot of journeys on my own driving further and further away each time. The furthest i have driven in one day is about 100 miles.

Dont think of how good a driver you are, just keep reminding yourself that you are a driver. You have passed your test.

Original poster
catgirl1976 · 19/05/2017 19:37

If you see a terrified looking woman driving an old Saab at 15 miles an hour muttering "I am a driver" over and over again, that will be me

OP posts:
madmare77 · 19/05/2017 19:37

Do not give up! Practice makes perfect!
Your driving lessons give you the information on how to operate the car, learning to drive comes after you pass your test with experiences and practice. Stick with it - you'll be great xx

Asoiaf · 19/05/2017 19:45

Practice practice practice i agree! I passed in November just gone, aged 33, and had to start picking my toddler up from nursery the very next day. Like you I didn't have real experience parking. I started by using the sports centre car park next door (it's massive) until I felt confident enough to use nursery's tiny car park. I'm not a pro at parking yet but it does get easier in real life situations. I've battered my car a bit - misjudged a turn in multistory car park and scratched up the side (also a pheasant flew into my radio aerial and bent it so can only pick up 2 stations now).
My main issue at the moment are the many drivers who are always in a rush beyond the speed limit. I'm fast but appropriate (and can only afford up to 6 points on my licence!) But some jerks really do tailgate and that shakes my confidence a lot. That's another story tho!

Asoiaf · 19/05/2017 19:46

Ps - congratulations!

Saltandchilli · 19/05/2017 19:58

Well done on passing. Keep in mind that passing a driving test doesn't make you a "driver" it just means that you are safe enough to go on the road and gain experience. Keep at it, it's like everything else, I'm still trying to figure out my phone and I've had it a year :)

specialsubject · 19/05/2017 19:59

If the car is under 15 years old it will have crap sightlines. If you can't see a reflection in something or what you need in your mirrors, there is no shame in getting out and checking to see how much space there is behind as you reverse into a space.

Otherwise if you don't tailgate, speed, use your phone or brake /accelerate brake you are much better than most.

frasersmummy · 19/05/2017 20:13

First few times I went out on my own I can back shaking and sweating...it's normal...

I got myself a set of p plates..I found people do give you more room and patience

I could only find sticky ones so I stuck them on top of magnetic l plates so hubby wasn't stuck with them when he was driving

Dumbo412 · 19/05/2017 20:24

Cat girl,
You will get there. I turned into a nervous wreck after passing my test. I had a few people bib me each day for the first week. I was so bloody jittery.
I hit a few things, and more than a few times I promised I would NEVER drive again.
Within a few weeks, no one bobbed at me anymore, and the nerves slightly calmed down.
I can't give exact markers, but my confidence has improved in very small increments over the past 6-7 months since I passed my test.

All of these things you feel you can't do, eventually you'll feel confident doing.
I used to hte reversing with a passion. I now do it without thinking. In fact I've found myself thinking, like fuck am I walking that far in the rain, I'll reverse instead in the past few days.

I promise you will get there, just keep at it, and in six months you'll look back and laugh about how you felt when you first started driving.

Anxiousninny · 19/05/2017 20:57

This could almost be me writing this post I'm so glad it's not just me who feels this way. I passed last month and get sooo anxious about driving and always worry about parking. My car is nothing like the one I learnt in and my confidence has definitely been knocked. I am trying to drive somewhere everyday and am also going to do some practice parking I've already got a friend on hand to help. Good luck to you im sure we will both be fab soon!