To not bend over backwards to please my employer?

[SayHelloDoris]

I got a call from head of management yesterday, I've never seen her before but she's above all our line managers etc.

I've had two weeks away from work due to horrendous HG sickness. She said ''so what is it that's exactly wrong with you?''

I replied that I have pregnancy related HG sickness, and it was very debilitating at present. She then went on to ask if I was certain I would be in Monday, as they needed to know. I replied yes I would be but would be needing a bucket to puke into
She then went on to say "Can you make sure all your appointments are made during the morning or last thing, so as to not disrupt the working day too much''.

I replied this wasn't really in my control since I'd asked for first thing/last thing appointments each time and I'd only ever been offered the choice between two availabilities, none of which so far have ever been convenient, more afternoonish time.

She replied ''Well, you need to tell them you work for the NHS, if you said that they'd grasp how busy we are''. Again, I said I tried this but it hasn't worked.

Then, in a very fed up voice she said ''What hospital is it you're with?'' I said the hospital name. She said ''Why that hospital? It's a bit far isn't it? Not really local at all'' (She knows my address so she knows it isn't local to work or home).

I was really put on the spot to answer. I've had horrendous experiences with maternity care and I have had lost babies due to poor care, so I chose this one as I feel safe and cared for. I didn't tell her this, I lied and said we were moving to the area so I based my mat care there I know I shouldn't have lied but is it really her business?

We had a new line manager start a few weeks back who has taken over handling sickness, holiday etc etc. I told new manager about pregnancy quite early on due to needing time away for quite a few appointments earlier on too. Turns out she didn't even document the sickness as pregnant related, even though it's clearly stated on medical evidence and letters etc that I've shown and given copies of.

Am I in the wrong? Am I breaking the maternity law because my expectations aren't reasonable, and should they expect a closer hospital?

Thank you for any input

As a former nhs midwife I would email this manager and copy in hr asking for clarification on the points she made. She's totally out of order. Many maternity appointments are at inconvenient times and run late bother of which are absolutely beyond your control. You don't need any more stress and anxiety than you currently have.

HR will almost certainly support you and should be reminding her of her role. Her behaviour is really disgusting.

Wishing you well.

I'm already further into the 2nd trimester and it hasn't eased at all Seems to get worse every week if anything!

I will be outlining the facts Monday morning if they try and bullocks with me during the return to work interview.

You're entitled to a "reasonable" amount of paid time off to attend ante natal appointments - there's no six hour maximum, that's the law for partners accompanying their pregnant SO.

They can't require you to make appointments at the beginning or end of the day, nor can they ask you to make the time up, or get arsey because your hospital is further away

I think HR need to have a strong word or you'll be handed a discrimination claim at this rate!

I actually think you should notify HR and let them know just so they can let the manager it's not on. MrsPinkCock if the '6 hours' was in reference to my post, I was using 6 hours as an example not saying it was a time limit. I should have clarified

As well as all the other good advice If you're in a union this is a good time to call them.

I'm an NHS worker and my work were useless during my pregnancy, in the end my obstetrician worked with my boss and called her to tell her that she was risking my pregnancy and I was going in mat leave early. The NHS can be really dumb as you think your boss would know what waiting times are like!