To not want 13 year old to spend evening hanging out at O2 Finchley?

[waterfallrainbow]

Still learning to parent a teenager! His friends wanted to spend someone's birthday hanging out at the O2 centre. I'm a country girl - the idea of hanging out at a shopping centre all evening is totally alien to me! We're in Islington, where there's a serious knife crime issue. I realise O2 is a different scene, but I can't help thinking unsupervised teenagers in a mall for 2 hours could go horribly wrong?

"People are regularly mugged at gunpoint in Hampstead on the school run."

Blimey. Are you sure?

It'll be fine. They'll go to Nandos and hang out at the seats near the cinema or something. (I'm from Johannesburg where hanging out at malls is a teen "thing", so I'm giggling at a group like this opting for the O2 centre rather than Brent Cross or Westfield.)

Crime can - and does - occur in any area. However, "regularly mugged at gunpoint in Hampstead"? I know Belsize Park/Hampstead is a bit of a hotspot for robberies (mainly involving mopeds I believe) but think this must be an exaggeration...

13 does seem to me quite young to spend an evening out (unless the evening is actually late afternoon to early evening) but that's probably because unless I was at someone's house I couldn't do so at that age. If I could have I wouldn't have fancied spending it in a shopping centre, least of all that one.

I have to say one of the things I actually love about bringing up a child in London (actually in one of the areas mentioned above) is that the kids have to learn to be a bit street-savvy from a pretty young age.

I'm somewhat surprised to hear about the muggings at gun-point as I've lived here for 25 years and never heard of a single case of that, but the kids all know about thieves on mopeds potentially nicking their phones etc. It is drummed into them incessantly at school. Of course, they pay as much attention as any teenagers do...

And waterfall, if you're in Islington, wait until he starts saying he's going up to Highbury Fields for the evening!

YABU and a bit paranoid. Teens hanging around in a shopping mall is entirely normal. He will be fine. Probably the worst thing that will happen is eating too many sweets.

Also, even Highgate isn't immune from the odd criminal... Check out all the Russians buying up all the houses.

Are you really worried about knife crime in Islington? There are some really tragic, absolutely awful, events that are unlikely to affect boys hanging round the Angel centre.

1. Hampstead: a quick google reveals regular muggings with knives, crowbars and guns. Lack of police up there. . 2. Islington; 13 y old stabbed every week, some have no gang connections whatsoever. Yes, I am worried, but then I do have anxiety issues anyway, and no I am not glad that my child is learning to be streetwise from an early age. Children should be relaxed and carefree, I would have thought. They are busy growing. But it is what it is, we need to learn to manage the risk as best we can, forewarned is forearmed.

People are regularly mugged at gunpoint in Hampstead on the school run

There was a spate of high profile violent (but not fun IIRC) mugging a in Hampstead last year. People wearing £100k watches and £30k engagement rings.

I think the teens will be fine!

Islington; 13 y old stabbed every week, some have no gang connections whatsoever

Very, very few have 'no gang connections'. Even fewer were just walking down the street an snot involved in any altercation.

no I am not glad that my child is learning to be streetwise from an early age. Children should be relaxed and carefree

These are not mutually exclusive.

Kokusai, do you have evidence of that, or do you just prefer to believe that the knife crime is just gang related? I get the impression that it is mostly gang related, but by no means exclusively. These are chaotic gangs, anyone can get caught up in it. From memory I think 2 of the 13 year olds were just in the wrong place at the wrong time.

Mums on the school run in Hampstead are frequently targeted. Admittedly a lot do have 100k watches etc, but that doesn't change the fact that Hampstead is not quite as quiet as people often think.

YAB utterly ridiculous to suggest
13yolds are stabbed weekly.
Shame on you.

Googling 13yo stabbed yields the following in the U.K.
13 sadly knifed but not life threatening 2 years ago

Botched bulglary murder in the midlands
13 yo stabbed, not live threatening 17 years ago!

It's not exhaustive but certainly doesn't support your ridiculous claim that 13 year olds are stabbed weekly in Islington.

A 13 year old stabbed every week? Regular gunpoint muggings on the school run? Are you sure about this?

I was just going to say: there won't be many 13 year olds left in Islington if one is stabbed every week.

Honestly, waterfall, you really need to take a breath. Your son is 13. You live in London. I mean this in the nicest possible way: find some coping mechanisms.

Going against the grain here, but my two pennies worth is that I wouldn't allow any of my dc to just go an 'hang around' anywhere.
My youngest is 15 now (I have 2 older) but none of them have ever just 'hung around' anywhere for an evening, no.
I have no idea what the area you are talking about is like, it's not about the danger, but about having something to do in their lives!

If you scroll down the photos on the left hand side of this page, it might put your mind at rest that it isn't white teenage girls who are being predominately knifed to death on London's streets.

www.citizensreportuk.org/reports/teenage-murder-london.html

none of them have ever just 'hung around' anywhere

They never went shopping with friends? Got a McDonalds? Sat in the sunshine in the park and chatted about stuff?

If you scroll down the photos on the left hand side of this page, it might put your mind at rest that it isn't white teenage girls who are being predominately knifed to death on London's streets.

Not sure why you posted this as no-one has said it is.

Teenage girls are routinely harassed and subjected to sexual comments, intimidation and worse from a young age, though.

I don't know any Hamsptead parents or children who have ever been mugged on the school run and I know a lot of them.

Honestly, you really shouldn't live in London if you're this paranoid about even the nice bits.

In fact in my borough on that very link you posted, there are only 6 incidents. The only two which involved victims completely unknown to the attacker were a teenage woman and a teenage girl, attacked for no reason in broad daylight for no other reason than their sex. Misogynistic violence.

How can I not spell Hampstead?

DD (14) had her first evening out alone with her friends last Friday night. They went to the local (quite large) town. We dropped her off and went to a different restaurant whilst they went to Nandos, on to Kaspas for puddings and then we took 3 of them home. Seems they spent most of the time bitching talking about school and Snapchatting! We weren't nervous as they were in a group and had a game plan. Don't think we'd have allowed her just to wander..

I'm with you OP, I wouldn't be happy about those sort of plans either.

I have kids of a similar age and I'm fine with them going out with a plan -my daughter goes to the cinema with friends, or meets them in Costa where they drink those awful smoothie things, or a friend's mum takes them to the shopping centre to mooch around the shops while the mum sits in a cafe with a book.

But I don't allow the "hanging around" or "pointless wandering" that many teens seem to do in groups. That's where trouble starts, groups of kids hanging around, wandering the streets, it just takes one to push boundaries, cause trouble and they're all caught up in it. Not happening with my kids. Luckily I appear to be on the same page as most of the other parents as they don't allow it either.