Are HR BU or am I expecting too much...

[mooglycrunch]

I have name changed as I am sure there are people I work with on MN and some details from previous account could identify.

I am due back to work after Mat Leave and have applied for flexi/part time hours. I work quite confusing shifts on a monthly pattern as follows:
WEEK 1 DAYS 0800 - 2000 MON, TUE, FRI, SAT, SUN
WEEK 2 DAYS 0800 - 2000 WED, THUR
WEEK 3 NIGHTS 2000 - 0800 MON, TUE, WED, FRI, SAT, SUN
WEEK 4 NIGHTS 2000 - 0800 WED, THURS

I have asked to work shorter hours (a 9 hour day) this has been refused.
I have asked to not work nights, although am prepared to work until later in the evening, this has been refused.
I have also asked not to work weekends although I am willing to work 1 in 4 rather than 1 in 2, this has been refused. I know I have the right to ask these things but not to receive however I thought some kind of adjustment would be made.

The only concession they are willing to make is to choose 2 days from my existing shift pattern each week to work,
I have worked for the company for 16 years and have always worked this pattern. I have always been incredibly flexible working Xmases, coming in extra days at short notice and rearranging my life to fit around them. I have even worked 30 hour shifts when they have dropped the ball and needed me desperately.

My husband and I do not live near family it is just us as far as childcare is concerned. The nursery need my DD to have set days a week. If I do 2 night shifts in a row I will not see her for almost 2 days.

I just don't know what to do. Is my request to work a 9 hour day unreasonable? They are a big corporate that supposedly supports working mothers but I can't see that in their suggested work pattern. I'm not sure how to go about fighting back or even if I have any grounds to push the matter further.

Please be gently with me as I love my job and finding this out has been really upsetting, I don't know if that is clouding my judgement.

I know I have the right to ask these things but not to receive however I thought some kind of adjustment would be made.

No, they don't have to make any adjustment if it doesn't suit the business. You are the person who chose to have a child, and who is now wanting to work different hours to the norm.

Have you offered any kind of suggestion/solution as to how the other hours could be covered?

If there's a need for 24/7 working then that isn't going to change because you don't want to do it. Who is going to cover the remaining three hours of your shift?

Consider how you'd have felt before becoming a parent if your manager had said that someone was returning from mat leave and had requested no nights and fewer weekends so your shifts would be more focused on nights and weekends. Unfair? That's pretty much what you're asking for.

If you want to keep this job you need to go with the hours and try to fix them to enable you to plan.

I was a nurse years ago and lots of nurses came back of mat leave onto permanent nights as it reduced childcare costs. Is that an option for you?

I think YABU. Shift work is part of the deal, why should you be exempted from nights/weekends/and other, shift patterns because you chose to have a child? So someone else has to pick up the slack? They have a right to refuse your request if it doesn't suit their business.

Britin is right, you need to explain how your work would be covered if your shift pattern was to change. I worked with a woman who applied to go from five days to four (one of those days to be wfh). When asked what her solution was for covering her work on the dropped day she said "I thought Carabos could do it" . I was already working full time, so in effect her proposal was that she would work four days and I would work six (without ever consulting me about that). She was extremely annoyed when our team leader obviously said no.

Be careful you aren't in effect doing the same OP.

they can refuse but have to be able to back up why they can,t accommodate this .if you all work 12 hour shift then how could they cover the extra hours without changing every one else from a. personal point of view i would be might pissed off if i had to work extra night,s and weekends to cover because some also has kids .think your best option would be to reduce your hours or find someone to job share with . what you suggest would have a massive impact o the people you work with sorry it,s not fair on them

Unless everyone at your work works flexi hours then I think you are being a bit U. i don't think you're especially asking for flexibility, you're asking for everyone one else to work around you, not because that's necessarily what you want but because that's what's going to happen. Maybe you should look for another job? Yes, easier said than done I know but there might be something out there with hours that you prefer

I can sense your disappointment OP, but I also think you are expecting a bit much from your company. You haven't suggested at all how you think they would cover the missing hours/days and that is a difficult shift pattern to job share!

What made you think that the company might let you go part-time? Are there any part-time workers who do the same role as you at the moment or had a similar shift pattern (to the one you want) previously?

Purely for my own interest - have you hit the 7-weeks-to-return mark? IME, most people have a wobble at that point!

Thanks everyone for the advice. I understand what you are all saying. I can appreciate that what I asked for could be unrealistic.

Previously people who have returned and were working the same pattern as me have been granted exemption from nights and weekends. For example one now works 3 days from 11 -6. The other was given a choice between working nights once every 2months or weekends along with her day shifts, she chose nights. There is one other whose children are 12 - 15 and go to boarding school all week yet she still has managed to negotiate no nights, she also picks up spare days as overtime but not any night shifts. I know that the arrangements of other employees are none of my business but I'm not sure if there is an case to be made regarding how things have been done in the past.
I have also been asked to go in a few times as a favour when I've been on maternity leave as they've had staffing issues. On these occasions I have worked 11 - 8 which worked well for them.
I am thinking of trying to ask for this 11-8 and saying I can work weekends. They have recently dropped a person on shift overnight so there is actually one less seat to fill. I'm not sure if they are open to negotiation or if this is a hard no. They have form for making things so difficult that working mothers leave, hence there are only 2 mums with kids under 7 working in my department.

There is one other whose children are 12 - 15 and go to boarding school all week yet

Everyone now has the right to ask for flexible working it isn't just parents.

I don't think you are BU to ask, as it sounds like you've gone above and beyond for this employer.
Judging by the extra context you've given, it wasn't unreasonable where you work either.

Provision of flexible working to one person, doesn't mean that a second person will get the same flexibility. It might be that the business could accommodate one or two flexible / part-time workers but cannot accommodate yet another.

I have also been asked to go in a few times as a favour when I've been on maternity leave as they've had staffing issues.

Did they pay you for these?

I'm quite shocked you were asked!

You being asked to go in on your maternity leave was completely inappropriate of them, that's pretty shocking that they did that. As for the other points, it doesn't matter whether other people who received flexible working arrangements have children to take care of or not. Additionally, various demands meet or don't meet the needs of a business at different times.

I am confused by your response? They have offered some flexibility but I am don't understand what, have they offered you two work 2 days a week or reduce by 2 days? I would take the reduction of 2 days in your shoes.

I am sorry but I don't think that your job is family friendly, not all are. My DM was in the Police and the shift work caused chaos to family life. On nights then quick change over I wouldn't see her for a couple of days, we muddled through, I would sneak into her room to give her a quick kiss on the cheek before school.

Did you speak to your employers prior to mat leave? in the years that you have been working there what you have you witnessed re other peoples hours/requests for a change in hours? if you are are asking for 9 hours, will this mean someone else has to work 13?

Some nurseries open at 7am, you could potentially do drop off every other week, on nights you could do pick up?

I'm not sure why people think it's so shocking that the employer got in touch regarding coming into work. The OP is entitled to take advantage of 10 Keeping In Touch Days (for which she can still be paid while receiving any maternity benefit) and there is nothing anywhere that says that the employer can't get in touch to ask if she wants to do them to the benefit of both parties! She can't be forced to do them but she can be asked.

I did a project for work when my daughter was 5 weeks old. In my case I only had to go into the office for one day and then did a further five from home but I wasn't at all offended to be asked.

I would say that getting in touch (other than to say congratulations) in the first couple of weeks of compulsory leave is bad form, but beyond that, there's no problem with it.

OP, it does sound as if other people have managed to negotiate something flexible. I would call them to have a conversation and see if something can be figured out. Even better, if you can, go in.