To remain working part time when ds starts school?

[Fortunatepiggy]

I work 22.5 hours a week in a fairly demanding job so actually work a lot more than the hours I am paid but I have kept 2 days off a week to spend with my ds. I do answer the odd email or phone call on these days but they are largely free for me to do what I want with him. I work mainly after ds has gone to bed if I am busy and the other 3 days in the office. Boss has indicated that he expects me to up my hours when ds starts school in sept and I think it will be a bad career move to not look like I am committed and want to work more BUT.. I work over an hours commute away and I really want to try and pick ds up from school at least a few days a week and get to know other mums. If I stay on part time hours I could do this 2 days a week but I will be on my own all day whilst he is a school which seems like a waste when we could do with extra cash and also will impact negatively on my career. Is it indulgent to have days off when kids are at school? I should add we have no family nearby and I am also worried about him being ill or inset days. The alternative is to do my 3 days over 4 but then they will want me in the office another day and to get back for 3 I would need to leave at 1 pm. Or should I just get a good childminder to pick up ds and take on more hours but miss out on the social circle and being there for him at home time . Would welcome views from mums with school children. What's it like juggling everything? I feel we've been spoilt as he's been in nursery since 11 months which is 8.30 to 6pm thanks

Well you hold at least some of the cards so get your negotiating pants on!

I'd look at doing one other day from home, or spreading the day across two mornings. That will mean you can continue to do 2 days of drop offs etc, and also show willing. Or do longer days for a couple of days and get a childminder. You also need to sit down with your partner (if you have one) and negotiate his part of the bargain. Things do change at school age and the whole household needs to re-organise, ime.

And as pps have said, don't forget holidays - doing that extra day may well pay dividends when it comes to extra holiday allowance, which you're going to need.

I worked two days a week during my DD's school years, it was ideal as they get so many holidays etc and i enjoyed being there for her, but don't make the mistake of thinking once they start secondary school they don't need you, they do, possibly more than ever with regards to being a teenager, exams etc
My DD is going into her final year at uni in sept, she lives in a different city and yet i now work three days a week, after 22yr of being part time i just don't want to work full time again!

I would stay part time, but that's because I am happy at my current level and not looking for promotion. If I were in your shoes (wanting to progress) I might feel differently as I do think being part time affects your chance of promotion.

Interesting we got 20+ posts in before anyone mentioned your partner! It reflects what I see IRL, that mothers are the expected default for working part time and doing the school run.

You wouldn't BU, but if it's going to have an impact on your career progression then make sure you weigh this into the decision making process.

I think it's nice to have days where you can go to the odd meeting/play. It means so much to mine. There are numerous things - we have open book day once a term where you go into their class to look at their work. We have sharing assemblies once a term, where they give out certificates to those who've done well. Then there are various one offs like plays, concerts, church services. Mostly they seem to be on Thursdays/Fridays for us.

Also, it's really useful to have one day where they can invite a friend home after school. It's a shame to miss out on that. Yes you can do it on weekends, but people tend to be busy with various sports and seeing relatives.

So I would maybe try and keep one day where you can do some of this, if you can.

If you can afford to work part time and it is what you want to do then stick with that.
You should do what is important to you.
If you are career minded then you would have to decide which is more important obviously. Personally, I would prefer more time with my children while they are young because you never get that time back.

Talk to your boss about how stepping up hours when DS started can't be immediate (unless a day/s from home) but that once 6 months of Reception year is over you can assess?

Don't forget that if you want another DC, a short period of working full-time might be beneficial for maternity pay...

Part time with young children is a great balance, IMHO

YANBU, OP.

By any means.

People are obsessed with work on MN.

If you're not run-ragged you're not a modern woman.

Working 22 hours a week, have children, a home to run. Thats enough! But on MN you're still not doing enough - up your hours!

I work part time and DH works two days a week away and three days from home. It's really important for us that our children have a parent at home with them so we juggle our work to fit in with that.

If i was you I'd keep my hours the same. I agree with others who've said that kids need you more as they get older and don't forget childcare for the seemingly endless school holidays. If you have to pay for holiday childcare (ie if you don't have family/friends nearby to help out) then that makes working FT much less worthwhile. I also think it's true that no one looks back on their working life and wishes they had spent more time at work!!

I think you are doing plenty and agree with those who say stay as you are.

There should be a big banner up stating you are NOT free when they start school .

TBF MyOpe it's the OP's boss that's wanting her to do more, which suggests she's valued and that if she doesn't, she won't be seen as wanting to move up. That's an important thing to consider.

Oh and half a child and half a home, surely? (presuming she has a partner)

Hi

Thanks for all the replies. Yes I have a dh who is v supportive but has a fairly pressured job too. However he works locally to where we live and will be able to drop off on the days I work ( I leave at 7 to get to the office at 8.30 currently ) but I'm not sure he could then do any pick ups as he would need to leave at 2.30pm.

The career progression is a big consideration but if I do choose to have another dc it's screwed anyway!

Haha

I have 2 school age dc and work 15 hours a week
It's plenty for me and financially it's not an issue for us. I don't care what anyone else thinks

Can you afford to remain part time? What happens if your DH also wants to reduce his hours?

Presumably you are contracted to work 22.5 hours - so if you are happy with this pattern, stick with it! Don't allow the boss to pressurise you, they are not legally able to make you change your hours. Do what makes you happiest!

Career progression is important and it's very wise to think about it. No marriage is guaranteed.

Your DHs feelings are also paramount. He may not be happy to subsidise you having two days off whilst he has to work and may well want the same.

Just to be clear - I'm not suggesting you should up your hours, as 3 days a week is in fact plenty to deal with if you have a child and your partner is full-time. I only work 21 hours myself. Lots of PPs seem to be saying YANBU to stay at 3 days, tell your boss and anyone who says otherwise to do one.

I was responding to the OP as I read it, that you're conflicted about career progression etc and so I was offering different options if you want to explore that.

I certainly think you would not be unreasonable to stick at 3 days if you wanted to - but that options for stepping up some whilst retaining a balance might also exist. It's not all or nothing.

If another DC is on the cards then get back full time for six months then ttc, I expect that will make a huge difference to your mat pay [practical face]

I would definitely wait for a year and reassess. I think it is harder to work in the first few years of primary school and found it really important to pick up at least once or twice a week. Also they are so tired and usually much less keen on after school club than nursery. Also I found being part time meant I could swap childcare in the holidays with their/my friends who also worked part-time. I also could do extra days when they had holiday activities they enjoyed (e.g. a week of tennis) and they had to do less stuff they didn't fancy (like generic holiday camps).

Also there are so many assemblies, sports days, come and see our project days to turn up to at school that it really helps to have some flexibility in your week (if you want to be able to attend these things).

I was full time all the nursery years (dh used to have fridays off). When ds1 went to school I dropped to 80% spread over five days, so I pick up three days a week. It is perfect I think - I know his teachers and the school, cook something proper, he can have his little pals over for tea or we can all go to the park together. I know the other mums. I'm so glad I did it. Keep on if you can!

I do three days in the office and two half days at home now. Do all drop offs and pick ups twice a week. Technically it's 30 hours (it never is but that's another thread).

They wanted me to go back up to full time but this was the compromise.