This is quite petty but..........am I being unreasonable

[IdreamofClooney]

Events chez Clooney this morning:

Clooney up at 7 with DS- puts his slippers on, gets him some milk and raisens, turns on cbeebies and puts on a wash (that DP was asked to do last night) then gets in shower

DP gets up makes sself cup of tea then goes back to bed with his radio

Clooney gets out of shower and gets dressed makes breakfast for DS, cleans up mess, gets DS dressed.

Asks DP to get up as she needs to go to work, eventually DP gets up and comes through to kitchen and puts on toast where Clooney is cleaning bits of rice out of the plughole in the skanky sink (nice)

When DP's toast pops up he says to Clooney "get out of the way I want my toast when it is hot"

Clooney is most annoyed and tells DP that she is clearly in the middle of manky job can he not wait 30 secs - no wants hot toast

Clooney looses temper and calls DP a spoilt child

DP v upset as Clooney such a horrible woman who picks on him!!!

This is not a one off - I get up and sort out DS each morning while he is in bed, he eventually gets up just before I go and immdiately fixes himself tea etc and puts on radio when I am frazzled after sorting out DS and self to go to work

Am I unreasonable to be pissed off at this or not? DP says I am, but I feel I am quite justified to be annoyed! I know it is petty and thanks for reading

does your DP work ?

Not in the slightest bit unreasonable, but not alone either. I think I live with your DP's twin brother.

I think its insane you have to sort ds out and get out to work - when does your dp work? If he goes after you then he should sort ds out imo.

I do have a bit of sympathy with your DP as I am not a morning person either and cannot function until I have had my tea and toast and 5 minutes listening to the radio, anyone who gets in my wasy has to look out. BUT I know ai am unreasonable, I just can't help it!!

He does work but evenings, although he is off on wed and thurs.

I find it really irritating that I am rushing around for two hours while he is in bed, then when he is finally presuaded to get up he immediately sorts himself out. grrrrrr

I think I'm your DP's twin sister. I can't stand mornings, my DH realises this though so is fab, he even makes my lunch in the week, and gets his dd organised in the mornings on the weekends and cooks me b/fast. But he's just fract his arm so now I have to make my own sarnies, sob .

get yourself ready for work and say, since you're not in a rush, i'm leaving you to get ds breakfast and get him ready. bye love/hun/sweetie/darling/little purple butt monkey/other pet name

and go!!

very 70s but get a teasmade - we got one and it's set to make tea at DH's bedside at 7 am. We both have tea in bed with radio on, then get up to get the DSs up. If you did that, then your DP has no excuse at all!

does he look after LO on wednesday and thursday?

if so, he should sort him out in the morning,then it would take you less than 2 hours to get ready and you could stay in bed a bit longer too !

That sounds like a normal day for me. Seriously though I do sympathise - sometimes I find it easier with DH out the way most of the time

Can you make a list of all the jobs that need doing and the time they take, inc paid work for both of you and looking after ds, and then split it evenly between you? Show him the list and let him have first pick of the jobs he'd like...

So it is your dp's agreed job to get up and look after ds on certain mornings, do the washing, make the dinner, whatever.

Because at the moment he obv thinks that housework and childcare are your responsibility and he 'helps you' with them sometimes.

I am liking the teasmaid idea - did see one in a charity shop and think it would make an ideal gift for DP as he barely functions before 12.00, and a cup of tea does seem to help though he is so grumpy getting it himself I often make it and take it to him in bed just to try and start the day on a more positive note (although it does annoy me that I have to take him tea in bed when I have been up and dressed for hours)

I've tried to get a more even split of household tasks but as it's my flat I do tend to end up doing a lot more plus all the bills etc are in my name so I need to do all that too.

He does look after DS on wed and thurs as those are his days off, although I have found out that he has been taking extra weekdays off (when DS is at nursery and I am at work) and staying in bed all day which I also think is sneaky and he thinks I am unreasonable to be annoyed about!

Basically DP thinks I am unreasonable full stop and I think I am prefectly reasonable and very long suffering!

At weekends I get up at 7ish when DS wakes up. Change nappy, give him milk, give him breakfast, wash up huge pile of dishes from night before, run a load of washing, get DS dressed and clean his teeth etc. DH gets up about 9 and gets himself breakfast and sits down infront of Sky Sports to eat it...

Swann teasmade - it is sooo kitsch, but we just LOVE ours. You can even put in a little photo of your kids!! How naff! All you have to do is remember to take up mugs, teabags, the water to pour in the top and some milk in a flask every night. Easy peasy.

Not unreasonably at all. unfortnatley I have one of those at home as well..

Im up at the crack of dawn, often before with DS (toddler) and heavility pregant with new baby - 5 weeks to D day and counting - plus still at work - full time and major breadwinner, and DH has the nerve to say he needs a lie in this weekend.... when I get DS up every mornig, give milk, entertian him, go downstairs put the bins out hes forgotten to do, put a wash on, he wouldn't even think of doing.... or if he did put a wash on, it would stay in the machine for the next week, until the nagging got through. Lie in - huh! whats one of those!!!!!

I think its men in general, and if you are one of the lucky ones to get a semi reasonable man, hang on to him!..

Nope, not at all, perfectly OK to loose it.

DH will happily laze in bed while I bomb round sorting me, ds and housework out. He gets up 45 mins before he is collected for work and appears in the kitchen, making it obvious that I am in the way.

Today lift was 15mins later than usual oick up so does he help...NPO, has and extra 15 mins in bed

Totally agree - sadly - that it's a MAN thing. My DP doesnt work. I still end up doing the best part of everything although he does do diy (well) and he does stuff (if asked). Problem is, if he isn't asked it doesn't get done. Do they not see muck? My DSs are 16 and 14 so we all look after ourselves on school/work days but at weekends I usually tidy around/puts some washing in/unload dishwasher etc. before having breakfast. He gets up and immediately has breakfast - whatever chaos surrounds him. I do however get really p... off if I am working late (like most nights) - get in around 9 and STILL have to make dinner! Hopefully the next generation will be better but I don't see much hope of it with my two! Got to be better than my (late) dad and my fil who both did just about NOTHING.

So glad it is not just me then!

I am feeling very put upon at the moment.

Why is it that these DPs seem to think it is their right to a lie in and then get up and get themselves sorted grrrrr

I think this 'oh I'm not a morning person' is such a big cop out, I'm sorry, but I really do. DH is one of those too and it drives me up the wall. So, what you mean, dh, is 'I don't fancy getting up before 7 with the 2 kids, getting htem breakfast, making ds's packed lunch, getting htem washed and dressed and doing the school run' - well now you put it that way, neither do I funnily enough.

DH is foul, foul, foul in the mornings. He generally stays in bed until I've left on the school run (he works from home) and it drives me insane. I used to put up with it when he was out to work and I was a SAHM, but now he works at home and I work for his business too. So I have started letting the kids in to him - dd bashes him with a book, ds talks incessantly about transformers and then jumps on him. It's a lie in, but it's not restful .

oh two boys - you are totally out numbered!

I get upset sharing with two boys (one of whom in only one) and you have three big ones.....

My DP has to be instructed to do household tasks

ME: Please could you take the recycling

Him: I was going to do it tomorrow

Me: Ok,it's just you could have done it today as it is starting to take over the (tiny) flat

Him: I said I would do it tomorrow

I then go and do it myself - lugging three huge bags, plus a one year old down three flights of stairs, over load the buggy and trudge a mile to the recycling bank

Him: I said I would do it tomorrow

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrr

Men cant live with them and its illegal to kill them

only joking I am a complete bag in the morning my dh had been living with me for 5 months before he saw how horrible I was in the morning I worked night shifts but had to do a course one day involving leaving bed before 9am YUKKK pre dd's obviously. on the plus side I am ok in the evening and during the night when dd's play up so it works ok