Congratulations on the arrival of your baby!
I could have written your post in October, my son arrived at 34 weeks and I was torn between him and my 2.5yr old daughter. I was 'lucky' that scbu was very quiet when we were in so I had the first two nights in postnatal, going back and forth between the ward and scbu to drop off expressed milk to the fridge and to sit with him. Unfortunately he took a serious dip and dropped 20% of his birthweight in those two days so they switched to drip feeds to let his system rest. As he was so poorly I was able to stay for another three nights in a parents room in scbu. During those first five days I only saw my daughter once, on day two when my husband brought her to meet her brother. The following day she woke with a cold so couldn't come into the unit. Once my son was more stable I made the heartbreaking decision to go home. I was able to borrow a hospital grade pump (but if you can't you can hire the medela ones online!) and so I expressed every three hours.
My daughter was already in full time nursery so we kept her routine as much as possible when I went home. I would get up with her, prep her breakfast, drive her to nursery and then head to the hospital where I'd spend all day, then would leave directly after an expressing session, pick her up and go home to do dinner and bedtime, express at home and then go back to hospital to drop off the evening milk and do my sons cares/meet the night nurse to hear about the handover, would stay at hospital until I needed to express again and then head home after that. We were lucky to be only twenty minutes from hospital so it was doable (though how I kept going I'll never know!).
Our scbu didn't use bottles for mums who wanted to establish feeding, once my son was off his tube they would use a syringe or cup to feed him if I wasn't there. We started with one breastfeed a day and increased it quite quickly as others what he wanted though I had to use shields initially as his mouth was too tiny to latch properly. Once he had done a full day of feeding from me the staff organised a parents room and I roomed in for another five days to establish feeding. My husband brought my daughter in each day to visit in that time and the scbu nurses were incredible with her.
If you are going to go home spend some time planning how you will manage expressing etc first. I bought a Milton sterilising bucket as that's what they used in scbu and I borrowed a mini fridge so I didn't have to walk downstairs in the night to store my milk. Also bought a mini cool bag and ice packs for transport to the hospital.
Be careful when you wean off of expressing, nurses told me to go cold turkey once my son was feeding from me. My supply was ridiculously high at that point and he had no bother getting milk at all but once it was just him feeding (relatively inefficiently due to size of mouth and shields) my supply dropped and we were nearly readmitted for his weight gain (though we also had other issues with allergies and fixing my diet which were partially to blame).
Oh, and look out for your husband, mine is still struggling eight months on. He hated being home alone at night once the toddler was sleeping, he really struggled with thinking the worst and never felt able to talk to me about it. It's only now that our boy has more than tripled his birth weight (and quadrupled his lowest weight!) that we are starting to look back at photos and process everything that happened.
Hope your little one is home soon x