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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Paid £400 and he walked all over it!!

54 replies

AnUnhappyStudent · 14/05/2017 23:25

Had an area of over garden concreted today (getting a new dog and wanted area we could let him out in and hose clean if necessary. Laid for about 2 hours go outside and find a ball mark and a set of footprints. Only child on the street my DN 12 years old so went to have a word with my sister about it and she hit the roof! Said he had not been out and that I aleays blame her kids for stuff. Told her had been out because we had seen him on the drive. She marches round has a go at me and gets her son to lift feet up saying 'there is no concrete on them' just fuck off. Point out that the tred is exactly same as the foot prints. More abuse and she storms off back into her house. Then texted me about 15 minutes later to say it was him, to get the contractors back and she will pay for it and that there nothing else she can do.
But its not the money its the fact that once again her DS can do no wrong and we have been verbally abused because her son caused damage then lied about it! He has form for this but honestly if he had knocked on the door and told us we would have accepted an apology! WIBU to say yes there is something else you can do, both of you need to apologise?

OP posts:
ThumbWitchesAbroad · 15/05/2017 09:19

I get why you're annoyed.
You knew it was him, he denied it, she went batshit at you because you dared to accuse him and of course it was YOUR fault and not his.
Then she finds out that actually, yeah, it was him.

But - she DID text you to admit that she found out it was him and to offer to pay to make it good. That's many steps up from some people, and in her eyes is probably as good as an apology (an admittance that she was wrong and offer to redress it)

So I say - take it AS an apology and let it go. But next time he does something, you could always say (if you feel like it) "Before you kick off at us, remember the concrete"...

Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 15/05/2017 09:20

I would take a step back from her and her snowflake.

One day it will be someone bigger and scarier than auntie student knocking and dsis will have to deal with it.

llhj · 15/05/2017 09:25

It all sounds very rough to me. Who creates a concrete space for a dog to defecate on?

NormaSmuff · 15/05/2017 09:26

dogs much prefer grass to do their business on btw

elevenclips · 15/05/2017 09:26

Bad behaviour by dn and dsis. It never fails to amaze me how many people think their child is ok out by themselves when they are doing idiotic and often dangerous stuff.

Secure your garden so people can't get in. Surely you need it secure for the dog anyway?

cricketballs · 15/05/2017 09:32

I was about to say that Norma ours will only go on grass

Original poster
AnUnhappyStudent · 15/05/2017 09:33

The concrete area is for it to be able to go out while a puppy!! We will be walking it twice a day over the moors at the back of our home. The 'yard' is a small area to the side of our large garden Hmm

OP posts:
Original poster
AnUnhappyStudent · 15/05/2017 09:35

Yes it does need to be secure but because her DS's think its OK to go into our garden if we lock the gate when the puppy is not in the yard they wil climb over the fence and damage that too!

OP posts:
NormaSmuff · 15/05/2017 09:36

did he chuck the ball over and walk on the concrete accidently or on purpose?

SnapAttack · 15/05/2017 09:37

Is your sister your neighbour? ! I am so confused haha

CotswoldStrife · 15/05/2017 09:38

How much damage to the surface is there, OP? It sounds as if the ball went on to the concrete and he walked on it to get it back.

Your sister has offered to pay so call the contractors and see if there is anything that can be done. No, her reaction wasn't great and I'm wondering what happened in the 15 minutes before she texted you.

SnapAttack · 15/05/2017 09:38

Ah DearNephew not DearNeighbour haha

. I assumed he was neighbour as call over fence ? Maybe he still is

Original poster
AnUnhappyStudent · 15/05/2017 09:39

I think the ball went over and he went to get it, and that is fine. But he then denied he had done it and sister had a go at me for suggesting it was him. That is the issue and that is what I think she needs to apologise for, not the concrete.

OP posts:
Justmadeperfectflapjacks · 15/05/2017 09:39

Anti climb paint on the top of the gate!!
Grin

NormaSmuff · 15/05/2017 09:45

you need to put somethign on top of gate, so your dn doesn't just walk in in case he leaves the gate open, something spikey

Original poster
AnUnhappyStudent · 15/05/2017 09:45

Just Brilliant!! They won't be climbing over the fence then Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
AnUnhappyStudent · 15/05/2017 09:47

Yes sorry my DS is my neighbour, we live next door but one to each other

OP posts:
Topuptheglass · 15/05/2017 09:47

What age is your nephew?

Are you close to him?

I have a huge number of siblings therefore a plethora of nieces & nephews... if I listed all the breakages I've had over the years (including a glass oven door...) I'd be here all night.

I'm one of the younger siblings so had years of babysitting relatives before I had my own children. My favourite part of our bungalow is my god-daughter's handprint (she's 22 now!) in the concrete where she landed when dh (a builder) was laying the side path Grin

I get it youre not happy but maybe some say when he's all grown up you'll see the funny side? If not, just get it relaid, it's not worth the aggro.

PaintingOwls · 15/05/2017 09:52

Does he get an OTT bollocking for every little thing?

Asking because I was under pressure to be "perfect" as a child and my mum had a very dim view of me making a mistake or misbehaving. I would be screamed at, lectured, sometimes hit, and she would bring up my misdeeds and list them, saying that I was just like my father, etc.

Consequently I was extremely anxious and developed a habit of compulsive lying to try and avoid all that.

I do wonder if the kid is in a similar position?

Original poster
AnUnhappyStudent · 15/05/2017 09:52

I wouldn't dream of getting them to pay for it.

OP posts:
1nsanityscatching · 15/05/2017 10:12

I think lots of kids would lie when confronted by an angry adult tbh and you can't really blame his mum for believing him.She obviously went home and spoke to him and found out the truth and has offered to pay to make good any damage so not sure what more you would want tbh.

Roomster101 · 15/05/2017 10:14

I feel a bit sorry for your sister and nephew. Unless you warned him that this could happen, he wouldn't have known that stepping on the concrete would cause permanent footprints. Therefore it was an accident and your sister has offered to pay for the accident. I think you should leave it there.

Jux · 15/05/2017 10:15

Accept the money, te her that you would have been happy with an apology from dn, but her verbal abuse has changed that.

Fluffyyellowone · 15/05/2017 10:20

She has years of this ahead of her, take the money and don't mention it again.

RB68 if you had just spent £400 on getting any work done for it to be vandalised I think that you are in your rights to be annoyed and to try to get it fixed.

witsender · 15/05/2017 10:23

Was it not an accident? I would assume the ball bounced into it and he got it back. Annoying, but hardly the crime of the century especially given she has offered to pay.

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