To turn down free family holiday

[FedglingFTB]

My dad's just told me his big idea is to take us all for free (family: siblings, DPs, and poss our mum) to Cape Verde for 3 nights to celebrate a big birthday happening in just under 3 years time.

He's an alcoholic, constantly ill and my parents split was horrific. They still don't talk. Also, god knows who else he'd invite as he does hang around with pretty unsavoury types. To top it off he has a family history of bi-polar and narcissism - and he's def one of the two, if not both

He is completely oblivious to all this and in his head it's all perfect, and he won't be able to understand why I wouldn't want to go.

That's all before I even start to think about if it's somewhere I want to visit (it isn't)

AIBU to say no? I don't actually know how I'm going to be able to

As it is planned for so far in the future, can't you just smile and nod and then when he is actually booking it, find some reason why you can't go?
No offence but alcoholics do talk a lot and then don't do stuff, IME.

Just leave it, he'll probably forget

Agree with antigone

It's in 3 years time? Then stop thinking about it until he starts talking about booking. Plenty can happen in 3 years.

Can you go to CV for 3 days now? Must have changed flight patterns. I wouldn't go to an all inclusive with an alcoholic.

My dad is one too

My thinking was to nod, smile and hope it goes away. He did frame it as "if I'm still alive..." and I'm pretty sure he was half cut when he told me about his great idea.

But I do worry that by not nipping it in the bud I'll be stringing him along

You know, if he really wanted to take you all on holiday, he would just do it now, not in three years time. Honestly just smile and wave.

Just ignore. It will never happen.

If it did happen would the rest of the family be able to cushion the difficulties of his drinking? It's a long way off. Try not to borrow trouble from tomorrow.

Nod and smile. Nod and smile.

If you are in the uk it isn't possible to visit CV for 3 days.

Thanks for the reassurance.

I can now see that it's complete fantasy on his behalf, and for some reason it makes me even more sad.

Family holidays were always a huge pleasure for him, and I think it's all down to loneliness. He's clearly trying to recreate what we had.