Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

3.5 not speaking yet

51 replies

Tinkerbec · 14/05/2017 19:45

My nephew is 3.5 and he can not speak just make sounds. Possibly he can say da or ma but I am not sure.

He doesn't respond to his name but communicates by pulling people if he wants them to play. He is very agile and loves climbing. He laughs and smiles. If there is 'mild peril ' on a cartoon he gets upset.

He does get frustrated and cries sometimes.

Parents just say he will get there but they look co

Should we be worried?

OP posts:
Original poster
Tinkerbec · 14/05/2017 20:18

Thank you seenoevil.

He is a September baby.
Thanks too breathless will look into Salt.

OP posts:
Spikeyball · 14/05/2017 20:22

The nursery should be doing something but he may not be priority at the moment because of not starting school till next year. The best thing would be for his parents to ask for a referral by his GP or HV to a paediatrician.

HurricaneHalle · 14/05/2017 20:23

My now DS6 was a late speaker and wasn't put two to three word sentences together by three however being non verbal at 3.5 would warrant a trip to the GP or self referral to SALT.

Keep us posted.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 14/05/2017 20:24

They have not long had another baby I think they are finding things tough at the moment.

OP posts:
ChangedUsername123 · 14/05/2017 20:24

Sounds exactly like my DS. He's 3.2 and had an official autism diagnosis for almost a year. If he's like you say he is, he needs some intervention ASAP imo

Willyoujustbequiet · 14/05/2017 20:25

One of mine didnt speak beyond the odd word until nearly 4. Then it all came at once. It may well be nothing and children develop at their own rates.

Spikeyball · 14/05/2017 20:28

What is his interaction like? Does he show you or his parents things that he likes? Does he look at things that you point to or things that you show him?

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 14/05/2017 20:32

Sometimes he looks at things we point to. He doesn't point himself.

He throws things he doesn't like too which isn't good. My mam gave him some strawberries on a plate the other day he just threw them and the plate.

OP posts:
SiouxieQ · 14/05/2017 20:34

I agree this is concerning, the nursery must have brought this up with his parents by now. Have his parents refused support for him do you know since they're of the opinion he'll catch up on his own?

justwhiisitwhosvotingtory · 14/05/2017 20:35

My DD was at this stage at 2.5 and this was flagged up as needing interventions. She's had several rounds of speech therapy and is now talking at 3.5. I'd be a bit surprised that the nursery have not requested a referral yet? I would suggest that his parents need to contact their health visitor?

imjessie · 14/05/2017 20:36

Yes she should be worried . My son is 5 with sn and doesn't talk much . We have had every test under the sun and he has an echp and 1-1 help at school so everything is covered . They need to be doing stuff now to get things in place for school if necessary. You can't just ignore it even if you don't want it to be so .. if there are no other physical signs it's likely to be ASD . Either way it needs investigating asap .

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 14/05/2017 20:36

Nursery said they will get someone in when he has settled in. He has been attending since January.

OP posts:
HumphreyCobblers · 14/05/2017 20:38

My ds is very delayed in his speech, due to glue ear (now resolved with grommets) and possibly other issues. He is 3.5 and has lots of words, can ask for simple things and follow simple instructions. He knows his numbers up to 20, colours and shapes. But his functional communication is way behind, he simply does not communicate in the way that you would expect a 3.5 year old to do. He is seen by a paediatrician who is monitoring the situation and regularly sees a SALT.

I would be extremely concerned about no words at this age OP. Could it be that the referrals have taken place but the parents don't really want to talk about it to other people? I found that even though I have a background in teaching children with SEN, I was extremely stressed in my attitude to professionals who confirmed my fears about my DS's development. It is so hard when you are literally worrying about and analysing every single interaction your child makes.
But when your child has no proper communication at all, words can feel like the least

Musereader · 14/05/2017 20:39

My nephew was 3 in January and had been referred to a speach therapist last year because he was at the same level as your nephew, they told my sister that he was slow but still in normal range, he now does 2 word sentances, "want milk" etc

JaceLancs · 14/05/2017 20:40

DS was very late probably nearer 4
I had to fight to get him SALT from nursery age which carried on into early high school
He also had a statement so got some 1 to 1 in class up to age 11
No hearing problems or any other learning needs
He is now 24 a graduate in a well paid career (still not a big talker unless he has something meaningful to say!)
I worried that he would be a loner but he managed to keep a core of similar personality friends and now is very much a people person
If you can afford it at all I would pay privately for salt

hazeyjane · 14/05/2017 20:41

I think nursery should have tried to get something sorted by now - I assume they have talked to the parents?

JaneEyre70 · 14/05/2017 20:42

Does he still use a dummy?? Just a thought as I worked with a severely speech delayed little boy who was 4 and carried a dummy in his mouth 24/7 and mum refused to see it was an issue.
Also, if parents aren't showing any concern, it's pretty tough as a setting to get help in without their consent. We were unable to access any support for this little boy as mum got very offended at any attempts to talk to her about it. You may have to tread very gently here.

Iamthedogsmother · 14/05/2017 20:47

My DS didn't speak properly until he was in school. By 3, he wouldn't speak at all. I was worried but I was repeatedly fobbed off by my GP. He actually had ASD which was diagnosed at 5.

Even if it were to turn out to be something like this with your nephew, it's not the end of the world. My DS is 12 now, in MS school, he has friends. He plays hockey, rugby, football and is a talented artist. He's a bright lad and is doing really well at school. But with things like this, early intervention is the key.

Original poster
Tinkerbec · 14/05/2017 20:49

He has never had a dummy.

Just spoken to my Mother she said the health visitor is supposed to be referring him but they are still waiting.

I waited 8 months for speech therapy with my dd who had tongue tie so had a slight lisp. Totally gone now but I am much more pushy than my sister.

OP posts:
Lilicat1013 · 14/05/2017 20:55

He sounds like my sons, they are both autistic with a severe speech and language delay.

Your sister needs to seek help, the help he gets now will make a huge difference as will sorting out his EHCP before he starts school so he gets appropriate support.

It's difficult if she is unwilling, I have found you really need to fight for help.

hazeyjane · 14/05/2017 22:12

You can self refer to speech therapy - google the local service and there should be an advice line.

If they are waiting for health visitor to refer, I don't understand why they haven't asked nursery to get on the case

Helloitsme88 · 14/05/2017 22:16

3.5 means he now gets the 15 hour funding at nursery- do his parents send him to one? What have the nursery said? I would be worried. My daughter was a late talker. Only a few words at 2.5 but now at 3.5 she's talking in full sentences

Helloitsme88 · 14/05/2017 22:18

Just saw your update. Not pointing is very worrying in my eyes. That's more like a 12-15 month milestone. But I am not a professional.
Early intervention is key. The earlier he has support, the better for him.

Fruitboxjury · 14/05/2017 22:23

Have you talked openly to his parents, what are you going to do with the advice you've asked for here?

HeadDreamer · 14/05/2017 22:31

My DC1 didn't speak any sentences at 2. Only words. This was picked up as a concern at her 2yo checkup and by the nursery. She was referred to both hearing tests and speech therapy. It is serious and should not be ignored at his age.

Swipe left for the next trending thread