to ask DP to look after DD so I can go to guitar lessons?

[user1494761641]

I work part-time - Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I look after DD Tuesday and Thursday (on my own) and we both look after her at the weekend... She goes to nursery on the other days. I have just booked a term of guitar lessons (it's for an hour on a Thursday) and I've asked if he could have her on his own after work. He says it's unfair because we have both worked that day, so he gets extra when he gets home

AIBU?

You shouldn't have to ask him to take care of his own child. Checking they are in is one thing but it should only ever have been 'I'll be out for an hour at 6, you'll be in, won't you?'

It is one child, not like he is having to balance the needs of other children as well.

I think it's a great idea that he starts doing some parenting on his own as soon as possible TBH. He needs to stop making excuses.

You are effectively 'paying' to provide childcare by working part time, it 'costs' you the money you would have been able to earn at work. Think about that when saying you don't need to be married because you have savings. You are carrying the major financial burden of your child right now and he won't even do half an hour on his own while you enjoy your hobby 😡

Knock this on the head, sharpish. Totally unfair and pathetic on his part.

I can't imagine why you'd even consider yourself unreasonable.

Are you still going to do the guitar lessons OP?

Is the guitar teacher male or female? Because if it's a bloke, that will be the next reason not to do it (after you've paid for lessons from your savings naturally).

Obviously he is being ridiculous, but his argument doesn't even hold up, as surely you are only "responsible for her" during the hours he is at work, in the way Nursery is on the days you are both out at work. The time after that is either both of you jointly or either one of you. The 'carer of dd' role doesn't last 16 hours against the 'parents working outside the home' role lasting 9 hours. The evening is a separate thing.
You are going to lead pretty odd lives if neither of you can cope without the other parent being there for every hour of every evening forever more.
He needs to get over himself.

Each to their own, but I wouldn't want that life like this. No downtime, no me time, no hobbies for either of you? No thanks.