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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To find 'I'm a bit OCD' over something trivial so bloody galling!

65 replies

ocdprobs · 14/05/2017 09:43

Gah! I need to vent.

I have a colleague who regularly says 'I'm a bit OCD' because he likes to keep his desky tidy, I have heard this countless times before. It's not OCD to just be a tidy person!!!!! Fwiw he has been asked before if he actually does have OCD and he said 'no, I just mean I like to be tidy'... Right...

OP posts:

AnxiousMunchkin · 14/05/2017 10:36

Dawn your post comes accros to me a bit like you're trying to pick a fight. I'll try to answer your points but by what you have written/asked I'm not sure that you have understood my post.

if it doesn't impact on daily life its not an illness - I don't quite understand what this is in reference to, are you meaning my assertion that traits/diagnosable OCD is not a black/white situation? In which case I disagree, I'm afraid. It is perfectly possible that people experience distress but not to an extent that it qualifies for diagnosis, also, we are making the massive assumption that the person saying "I'm a bit OCD" never experiences any distress, ever. We can't know that. Especially with people we don't know well, or are talking about in the abstract.
Again you've made a huge assumption that I'm not bothered by marginalisation or dismissal of mental health concerns. I just disagree that this use of language constitutes significant trivialisation and therefore impacts on these concerns.

You do wonder if I've thought about others having feelings - in a similar slightly patronising manner, may I kindly suggest you re-read my initial post, where I emphasise the importance of respect and support.

Tigger365 · 14/05/2017 10:36

I have OCD, it was affecting my life in a huge way. Coping strategies and a buttload of medication means it's only affecting it slightly now...
Logically I'm now a bit OCD?

AnxiousMunchkin · 14/05/2017 10:39

Bibbity quite. Perhaps OCD is the new trans?

Mammylamb · 14/05/2017 10:42

I think it's a phrase that people just bandy about with no real understanding of what it means. I had an obsessive compulsive disorder that meant that I felt totally out of control and was hugely distressing. When I got diagnosed my mum said that I couldn't possibly have OCD as I wasn't tidy enough

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 10:42

Perhaps OCD is the new trans?

Dawndonnaagain · 14/05/2017 10:43

I wasn't trying to pick a fight anxious, I just disagree with your take on things. I too have had to stop my son from wanting to kill himself, I've had to talk him out of lying in his trunk (think Harry Potter type thing) and refusing to come out. So I don't see the light and trivial side of this and yes, 'I'm a bit OCD' pisses me off because it does trivialise.

strikhedonia · 14/05/2017 10:47

It's not a badge of honour, suffering deeply from something doesn't mean that others can't have a lighter problem, but still a problem. Someone can suffer from very mild OCD, not wanting to kill themselves, and if they want to say they are "a bit OCD", which they are, why shouldn't they?

They are not trivialising what you are going through, they are describing their own reality.

SheSaidHeSaid · 14/05/2017 10:48

YANBU.

My DH's aunt actually has OCD and it makes her terribly ill, I find it odd how some people seem to think having OCD is trendy or a badge of honour to wear.

rightwhine · 14/05/2017 10:49

We were told the medical profession take you seriously if the routines etc take up more than an hour of your day. Therefore by that definition people can be a "bit" OCD as it is affecting their life and they are suffering the anxiety involved in true OCD but not to such extremes, and perhaps not affecting such a huge part of their life. Obviously not just for liking a tidy desk though.

CricketRuntAndRashers · 14/05/2017 10:54

YANBU.

However, I quite like that OCD is seen as more of a "cute" thing, by so many.

Simply because that means people will be less prejudiced when I do tell them that I have it. They may also struggle understanding that it is an illness that has had a tremendous impact on my life, that there are different kinds of OCD etc. But at least they don't think I'm a loose cannon or about to snap....

AnxiousMunchkin · 14/05/2017 10:56

Yes, we disagree completely Dawn. You're bringing your own emotions into it a lot more, I feel, and I understand too because watching it from the outside in a loved one and feeling helpless to make things better for them must be horrendous, I can only imagine. I've only the experience from the other side as a 'sufferer' myself. That is bad enough. We all feel strongly about things that have affected us deeply.

Other people having a less severe experience does not invalidate, or trivialise, what your son went through, or what I go through, or anyone else with diagnosed OCD, in my opinion. No one is suggesting that your son just likes his desk tidy. But the term can encompass a wide spectrum of experiences.

Away that was a joke following bibbity complaining about the frequency of this topic arising.

FourPillars · 14/05/2017 10:59

@dawndonnaagain "If it doesn't impact on daily life it's not an illness"?

How absurd. If my cancer doesn't impact me today or tomorrow, make sure to remind me again that I don't have an illness.

CaoNiMartacus · 14/05/2017 11:00

We had a maintenance guy the other day who was putting a new notice board up. He was doing it really precisely (as well he should!) and said "Sorry it's taking me a while - I'm a bit bipolar about stuff like this."

Bipolar??

People should just avoid comparing behaviour to conditions and illnesses, full stop.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/05/2017 11:00

"i think it probably is possible to "be a bit OCD" i.e. display clear obsessive/compulsive behavioural traits or thought patterns but not to the extent that it causes distress or impacts daily life enough to warrant a diagnosis. "

Yep. My mum is really untidy, but a bit of a hoarder, which is associated with OCD. She also has strange rituals, counting to 3 after doing something, for example. I definitely think she's "a bit OCD", but I don't think pushing her to get a diagnosis would be helpful.

Gwenhwyfar · 14/05/2017 11:02

"t's not a badge of honour, suffering deeply from something doesn't mean that others can't have a lighter problem, but still a problem. Someone can suffer from very mild OCD, not wanting to kill themselves, and if they want to say they are "a bit OCD", which they are, why shouldn't they?"

Yes, it's a bit like saying that only those people who can't get out of bed for months can be depressed. You can have mild depression and you can also be depressed in the every-day sense of the word, rather than clinically depressed.

Nicky333 · 14/05/2017 11:03

I have mild OCD and it's nothing to do with being tidy, for me. I'm more about evens and odds. If one foot or hand touches something, the other has to. I jump over the last stair in each flight at work because there's an odd number. Lots of things I eat need to be eaten in threes, such as Maltesers or French fries. I get twitchy when something is pegged out with pegs that don't match.

These things are, to other, trivial, but they're important to me. There are various stages. As a PP said, it's on a spectrum.

Nicky333 · 14/05/2017 11:05

Sorry, meant to add that this doesn't really impact my daily life, other than me managing it, but it doesn't take away that it's on the spectrum.

OvariesForgotHerPassword · 14/05/2017 11:10

The thing is it doesn't make sense. They're saying "I'm a bit obsessive compulsive disorder", which is grammatically incorrect. If they said "I'm a bit obsessive compulsive" it wouldn't be so bad but surely the whole point of the disorder is that you've been diagnosed with it?

I don't care when someone says "I'm a bit hyper" or "I'm a bit inattentive". When someone is being silly or daydreaming and says "I'm a bit ADHD sometimes", I get annoyed. There's a huge difference between occasionally showing traits that are part of your personality, and having it affect your life in such a way that you seek a diagnosis.

It's not that it's an exclusive club. It's that if you claim to have a disorder, but really you just have a few personality quirks, you demean and cheapen the diagnosis, increase stigma and make it harder for others to seek diagnosis.

Dawndonnaagain · 14/05/2017 11:15

Anxious If it were just about his desk being tidy that would be fine. He has 'pure O'. It's nasty. Really nasty and the intrusive thoughts can take over for days on end, so that he can't hear a lecture over them. Can't leave the house, can't eat or sleep. OCD is not just about a cleanliness thing.
FourPillars
I apologise, I did mean in this particular case but should have been clearer.

bibbitybobbityyhat · 14/05/2017 11:15

There was a time in my life when my mental health was badly affected by a phobia.

I found it helpful to talk on a thread with fellow sufferers. Some suffered more than me, some less or in a different way. Nonetheless it was good to speak to others who understood.

What I didn't do was start threads on the general boards on Mumsnet telling everyone how shit they were for not understanding me waaaaah. It's GOOD that many people don't understand how bad some mental illnesses are. They are never going to understand until/if they suffer it themselves - do you honestly want that for other people??

Try and get it in perspective.

FourPillars · 14/05/2017 11:19

@dawndonnaagain thanks for clarifying that, I appreciate it

OvariesForgotHerPassword · 14/05/2017 11:26

It's also the language. I can't speak for the OP but those saying "yes but I have mild OCD", I don't think this thread is aimed at you. You don't say "I'm a bit OCD", you say "I have mild OCD". The difference seems tiny but it's huge.

My mum isn't OCD, she is a woman with OCD. I'm not ADHD, I have ADHD. It is a condition I take medication for, not as natural a part of my personality as a sense of humour.

yakattack · 14/05/2017 11:28

I hate the whole 'I am OCD' 'He is OCD' - no you aren't/he isn't, if anything you/he may have it, but you most certainly aren't it. People do the same with Down's syndrome - it annoys the shit out of me, they aren't the illness/condition, and vice versa - it's just something that they happened to have

m0therofdragons · 14/05/2017 11:28

I think I'm going to go against the grain here. There are so many different levels of OCD and other mental health issues I believe we all may show elements at some point in our lives. People will flippantly announce "Trump is in power!... I'm so depressed" when obviously they're not clinically depressed just expressing an opinion.

I have 2 thoughts really:
1, Expressing ourselves is important for all of our mental health and how someone chooses to do that shouldn't be judged unless it actually directly impacts/injurs others
2, the English language is amazing and evolving. Non of us own words and people use the to illustrate something. Stop making up rules to suit you. If my dd is having a major tantrum but isn't sn I'm told I can call it a melt down, I can't say I'm OCD to illustrate I like to have certain things certain ways. maybe I have OCD tendancies but maybe I'm just fussy. Now I have to get a diagnosis before I use a word? No, English is amazing let people use it how they see fit and stop being offended.

If you want to be offended, take a look at how Syrian refugees are being treated and be offended by that. So much in the world to be offended about yet you choose this?

yakattack · 14/05/2017 11:29

Ha ha Ovaries - Snap!

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