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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Noisy child in garden and light blocking

84 replies

DayMoth · 14/05/2017 09:29

My DBro recently moved into a studio ground floor flat. His windows back onto a small garden belonging to house next door (courtyard type garden). His wall is effectively their garden wall! Their toddler plays in the garden a lot, screeching and shouting and kicking balls (as toddlers do). He complained to his landlord, who had a word. They own their house. They were apologetic but said child has a right to play. The noise hasn't diminished and he finds it hard to study and work. He's getting very stressed about it. Now they are saying they will put up a fence in their garden! This will block his view of their garden (I appreciate they want privacy) but will also block most of the light into his flat. Is this legal?

I can see both sides: they want privacy in their garden and for toddler to play, he wants light and quiet to work.

Honest opinions please?

OP posts:

harderandharder2breathe · 14/05/2017 10:56

HIBU and ridiculous

A toddler playing in their own garden is normal noise and part and parcel of living anywhere with neighbours

He should stop whining and think about how much worse it could be, he could have rowdy students next door, a barking dog left alone all the time, a whole family of shouting people, people who smoke weed so he can't open his windows. He's very lucky if the worst he has is a toddler playing during the day time.

Go to the library.

strikhedonia · 14/05/2017 10:57

I feel so sorry for the neighbours of all posters who feel that screaming kids are normal. I have 4, they are lively, but still learnt to respect others. I am so grateful all my neighbours seem to share the same views and keep their own kids under control. Laughing is fine, playing is fine, screaming is not. If you want to behave like wild animals, move to an isolated place!

emilybrontescorset · 14/05/2017 10:57

The neighbours can do what they want within reason, in their own garden.
Toddlers do make noise.
This sounds like a design fault if there is there isn't any space which belongs to the flat, separating the flat from the house.

FloatyCat · 14/05/2017 10:59

He clearly IBU.

it's not his garden so he can't moan if someone else wants to have some privacy (from him??)
toddler is playing in their own garden - yes football and a bit of noise should be expected
he started the issue by moaning

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 11:01

So, the kids were making too much noise, he / the landlord complained, the parents offered a remedy (the fence) and he's not happy about that either? Good God there's not pleasing some people is there?

x2boys · 14/05/2017 11:03

This is the third thread this weekend where people don't like kids playing they make to much noise in their own garden or out in the street where are kids supposed to play

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 11:05

I feel so sorry for the neighbours of all posters who feel that screaming kids are normal. I have 4, they are lively, but still learnt to respect others

No one thinks screaming kids are normal. All there saying is it happens. Many kids haven't yet learnt the social normaties and if you want deathly silence you're going to have to move to the middle of nowhere. I'm currently sat mumsnetting and watching Sunday brunch and I can hear NDNs DCs AND their Dad screaming and playing around the garden. But then I also saw the mum take the baby away in an ambulance last night so I know he's doing his best to keep things 'normal' whilst mummy and 'baby Jake' are missing.

Is it a bit loud? Maybe.
Am I going to complain? No. 1) he's got enough on his plate and 2) there's more important things to worry about.

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 11:07

x2boys even with all the parking nightmares ans other neighbourly issues we have, I'm still grateful my only immediate NDN is an understanding lady, if I lived next door to some MNers they'd be banging on my door almost daily with DSs meltdowns (ASD).

BBCNewsRave · 14/05/2017 11:10

I think he'll have to talk to them and see if putting stuff on the window (as a PP mentioned - makes it look like frosted glass) will stop them putting the fence up.

It's hard to know without hearing the actual noise, but I think he WBU to complain... though I sympathise with noisy neighbours/studying issues (esp. if lack of housing choice, as is common). I suggest noise cancelling headphones with forest/waterful sounds...

x2boys · 14/05/2017 11:13

Me tooPixies D's 2 also has ASD and learning disabilities and isn't allowed out of the garden for his own safety he loves playing in the garden fortunately my ndn is understanding.

PaintingOwls · 14/05/2017 11:13

I would move, that's not worth the hassle.

llangennith · 14/05/2017 11:17

He's going to have a tough year isn't he.

Original poster

DayMoth · 14/05/2017 11:17

Toddler sounds very loud to me but probably because he's right outside his windows. It's worse when the mums friends come over and there are 5 or 6 little ones all running about squealing for hours or riding on wheelybugs!

The flat is in a sort of annexe, joined to both houses, so neighbours' garden's directly in front of it.

I will suggest privacy glass to him, thanks! But I think part of reason for the fence is to stop the kids running up to his window or kicking balls at the wall.

OP posts:

tinydancer88 · 14/05/2017 11:18

If I found it that irritating I would probably just move.

How many hours a day is the toddler out there? If it's literally 8 hours straight (which I can't imagine it would be) that's more of a problem; if it was an hour or two I'd probably just take that opportunity for a work break or relocate to a cafe or library if possible.

Allthebestnamesareused · 14/05/2017 11:21

As regards rights to light see this:

www.123plans.co.uk/uploads/frontend/media/documents/rightstolight.pdf

As regards to the toddler making toddler noise in his own garden unless it's after 11pm - suck it up buttercup!

YetAnotherSpartacus · 14/05/2017 11:22

Who wants deathly silence? I don't think that has been suggested here.

My Aunt lives near a family with three children 'on the spectrum' (the mother's words). The mother is upset because she's been getting anonymous complaints. Her children are constantly outside (weather permitting) and scream full volume and at a pitch designed to shatter glass and eardrums. They set off all the neighbourhood dogs and no one can enjoy their gardens. Another neighbour has a cat who is terrorised by it all. I mumbled condolences, when she mentioned the complaints, but frankly it's the neighbours I feel sorry for. I'm sure they would tolerate some noise, but what they have to tolerate is ridiculous.

NearlyEaster · 14/05/2017 11:27

My neighbour has 600 children playing out in their garden. Luckily I get six weeks break from it once a year.

But we bought here knowing that was the case so we live with it (and enjoy the opportunity to wave when it's our children playing the other side of the fence!).

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 11:27

But it's their garden. They're not in his. She's entitled to visitors, even in the garden

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 11:29

I get you x2boys I have to supervise DS when he's in the garden.

InglouriousBasterd · 14/05/2017 11:30

Agh I do have sympathy for him as I was woken up at crack of dawn again by my neighbour's screaming baby. But kids make noise - suggest the frosting / film for window and headphones...

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 11:31

NearlyEaster it took me a minute then!

You live next door to a school.

B3ingB3ige · 14/05/2017 11:32

You cannot stop "normal family" noise anywhere

Most DIY shops sell different types of coloured plastic film that you can stick onto inside of windows

Motorshops sell the silver plastic film

Unless he saves up to buy a detached property he will always have noise from neighbours

AwaywiththePixies27 · 14/05/2017 11:32

Agh I do have sympathy for him as I was woken up at crack of dawn again by my neighbour's screaming baby.

It's a PITA isn't it? DS was a screaming baby. I've still had no joy in finding the mute button 8years on.

imonaplane · 14/05/2017 11:35

I read the op as meaning the ball is being kicked against the wall of the flat. That is not acceptable but playing in the garden is just something you have to put up with.

Sara107 · 14/05/2017 11:35

If it's a toddler it can't be playing in the garden all that much can it? A couple of hours morning and afternoon? Presumably it has naps, goes to bed about 7 ish and gets taken out and about the odd time during the day. Could your brother arrange to be somewhere else during the times the child is likely to be playing? Does he not work or go to college or anything? Is there a library nearby he could use if he needs a quiet study area?

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