I need perspective here, please help

[user1466690252]

BIL live in another country. I've met him twice. He put a photo on fb yesterday of one of those frames with lots of different photos in. He has taken a photo off my fb of my children, printed it off, and put in the frame, along with other children in the family, then taken a photo of the frame and put it on social media. I'm annoyed he hasn't asked me and pulled photos off my fb, then posted them on his. It would of taken him a short message to ask, I find it really strange, but I have serious issues with my IL and control/lack of boundries so I'm prepared to be wrong. DH thinks IBU because ita his brother.

Surely you ate the controlling one, wanting people to ask your permission to use something that you have made available. Do you have a disclaimer on yoy FB page saying people must have your permission to reuse or share stuff you put on there?

It's photos of his nieces/nephews and he wanted to make a family collage for rhe benefit of the family.

Just a wee bit too much drama making.

I have a relation who is very high up in Australian Federal Police specifically cyber crime related to sex crimes including pedophilia. Our family are advised to limit all sharing of photos of our children on social media. There is no such thing as privacy in the cyber world, anyone who suggests otherwise is naive in the extreme.

OP, it speaks well of you that you have listened to people who disagree with you.

I wouldn't say it was controling, just strange (to me) because I would of messaged him and said "I'm making a collage and I'm putting your dc in, I love this pic can I put it in" I havn't said anything to him obviously, but if he had messaged us and we got involved I would of sent him nicer pics. he's never actually physically met the children, and I only post their pictures from a distance kinda thing so I could of given him a better one. but like I said, all sorted now. no issue

YABU...you posted them on social media in the first place. Sounds like a really nice thing of him to do; wouldn't you have been more upset if your children weren't in the frame? It's his way of showing that they're important to him and his loves them.

crazy that is scary, but I only post pictures I dont mind people seeing, I'm not concerend about that aspect as they are generic photos.
thank you Ethylred. no one is always right. even me lol

I think it was a nice thing to do actually!

crazy your post has made me think. I need to post fewer pics of my DCs.

I think I'm going to go old school, and print photos off and make some albums in future.

it's scary isn't it. maybe I'm naive as I dont understand why that type of vile person would want a picture of my fully clothed child? maybe I am naive? I'm off for another fb cull. (BIL is staying before anyone asks )

maybe I'm naive as I dont understand why that type of vile person would want a picture of my fully clothed child?

Because of my job I have had to see images I'll never forget and have some training and understanding of what you're getting at. It's likely that someone, somewhere in the world may want to see this picture but:

1. the chance of them finding this one is remote and we shouldn't

worry about the improbable.

1. there are other similar (fully clothed, 'normal') images everywhere

like on the pages of MN which they're more likely to get.

1. if a photo of my DC did end up in some collection somewhere of clothed, 'normal' children, and by some miracle I then found out about it) of course I wouldn't like it but there are other things I worry about far more like how to get DC2 to eat more veg.

You've realised you were unreasonable towards your BiL (well done but it's much more fun when the poster argues with everyone instead but you're also a bit unreasonable worrying about boring pictures of your child being viewable.

I can't imagine viewing some of the images you have seen, I'm assuming you have to see them to keep children safer. so thank you for that