Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To say no to my neighbour?

35 replies

igotdemons · 13/05/2017 18:43

Long time lurker here, just wanted some perspective on a somewhat unique situation with my neighbour to see if I am being unreasonable to say no to his request.

DH and I are moving house at the end of the month - the reason for our move is due to a sad and upsetting family situation, which has caused so much stress and worry over the past six months that it has affected my health to the point that I have developed a serious autoimmune disease (am currently awaiting treatment).

The houses in the area we are currently living in are all attached to each other by garages, however this particular neighbour has converted his into a living room, which means he has no other access to his garden other than directly through his house.

Pretty much as soon as we moved in a few years ago he sidled up to my DH whilst he was outside and asked if we would mind him using our garage for access to his garden once or twice a year, to which we said OK as we had just moved in and wanted to be neighbourly. However, since then, apart from when he has actually come to the door to ask for access, he doesn't speak to us, has dinged our car a few times with his car door and when I have taken in parcels for him, doesn't come to collect them for days on end. As you can imagine, my patience for being neighbourly has worn out and as we are moving, DH and I said to each other that if he comes to ask for access before we leave, the answer will be a big fat no because we have other things to be doing/worrying about without him adding to it.

Anyway, cut to this morning, two weeks until moving day and neighbour accosts my DH outside again to ask for access for works that need carrying out in his garden and for his usual access. As my DH is a people pleaser and soft as shit, he completely ignores what we discussed earlier and agrees that neighbour can use our garage! As we have the house for another month after we move out to get the carpets cleaned etc. my DH thought it would be OK just to leave the empty garage unlocked for them (to which I said no, we will still be responsible for the house if anything happened). I also explained to him that I have enough to do in terms of packing and getting ready to move, as well as feeling ill, that I do not need nor want the extra hassle of dealing with the neighbour and his workmen traipsing in and out of our garage, nor the worry of an unlocked garage when we're not there (I am home during the day, DH works long hours)!

So AIBU to say no when the neighbour comes round to confirm a date for the works to start and tell him he'll have to sort out his own access?

OP posts:
HappyFlappy · 13/05/2017 21:50

Is there no way that he could access his own garden via his back fence, rather than the one he shares with you?

He's been really short-sighted - what if he wants to sell his property one day? I can't see many people being keen to make an offer when they can't access the back garden. His worry of course, not yours.

Fragglez · 13/05/2017 21:51

Oh for the love of God it just gets better! Thank your lucky stars you are moving OP and don't have to put up with his rampant twattery much longer!

I suspect he is going to end up having to either put his oil tank in the front garden or convert to electric... serves him right - what a bonkers thing to do!

I wouldn't be putting myself out for him even a teeny bit, and I'm not ill or trying to move house. Seriously, just tell him no.

TestingTestingWonTooFree · 13/05/2017 21:54

You don't like him, you owe him nothing, say no. Perhaps he can be nicer to the next tenants.

Staypuff · 13/05/2017 21:55

Yanbu. Send dh back around to clarify tonight.

ivykaty44 · 13/05/2017 21:56

Tell him to use the other neighbour the other side or his back door, tell him the sale was brought forward so he will need to contact new neighbour's

igotdemons · 13/05/2017 21:57

HappyFlappy Its farmland to the back of our gardens, so in theory I guess he could get permission from the land owner but I'm not sure if the oil lorry would be happy to deliver from there as he has a thickish short hedge and fence? The downside to that is also that the whole field will soon be off limits as new housing is going to be built there in the next few years...

Yes Fragglez, I completely agree with you, he was very short sighted about the whole access issue and that's why it pisses me off that he has the cheek to think he can inconvenience us and why I want to say no to him!! 😡

OP posts:
igotdemons · 13/05/2017 22:01

Glad you all think IANBU 😊 DH is a soft hearted guy and says he just likes helping people when he can and that's why he said yes. I said that's lovely under normal circumstances but not when the person who wants your help is taking the piss!! 😡

OP posts:
Tapandgo · 13/05/2017 22:02

Unbelievable situation.
Just tell him no further access possible for a number of reasons you haven't got time to go into.
I'd never leave the garage door open for all the reasons given - and a lot more besides.

Pettywoman · 13/05/2017 22:22

Your solicitor has advised against allowing it as it may jeopardise your house sale, that or insurance.

AnnieOH1 · 13/05/2017 22:30

You say you're renting yes? I really wouldn't worry about it therefore, it's your landlord's headache long term. I would just say that once you've left (he doesn't know you're technically still there for a month) that you will be doing the check out report and therefore can't give permission for something that you aren't party to. If you don't want to lie just say that you can't afford for anything to happen between you leaving and the check out report being completed. Refer to the landlord directly.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page