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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Missing PE

18 replies

ZanyMobster · 13/05/2017 17:40

I currently only have DSs (plus his friends) account of this but just wondering what people think.

Y4 class walk just round the corner to a sports centre for PE on a Friday, they were chatting on the way there, teacher apparently asked them to be quieter so they said they were whispering but were then told they were still being too loud so had to miss PE. They then had to sit out for the whole lesson, all 3 boys have separately told the same story to their parents.

I suspect they were being louder than whispering after being asked but it just seems a really disproportionate punishment for what they were doing, if they had been talking loudly on the way to Maths or English presumably they would not be made to sit out of those lessons, PE is a lesson like any other IMO and surely if they are a bit hyper then a bit of exercise can only help. I can understand if they were disrupting the lesson or being dangerous during the lesson.

Knowing DS2 if he was told to be silent or he would miss the lesson then he would be terrified of missing it so I am fairly certain he would be quiet, although he is autistic so if the instruction wasn't that precise, ie be quiet/quieter may not have been completely clear to him (although the other boys back up his story as I said) he may have misunderstood. Diagnosis is very recent and we have not sorted speaking to PE staff yet but this is on the cards.

WIBU to raise this in a low key way? Maybe find out what actually happened first so not all guns blazing etc or is it actually a fair punishment?

OP posts:

RedScissors · 13/05/2017 17:45

I think it's very likely that all 3 were high as kites.

We would only walk children to another facility to use specialist equipment. I would not put hyped up children onto equipment if they weren't in a listening mood- too much of a risk.

I would find out what happened in order to make sure your son behaves the next time. I certainly don't think you should be complaining that he has missed out.

Original poster

ZanyMobster · 13/05/2017 17:54

That is exactly what I was asking really, I am under no illusions about what they can be like. DS2 has suspected ADHD too so it is a possibility although he plays lots of sports outside school and has never had an issue.

They weren't on specialist equipment, they don't have any real outside space so travel for PE 3 times a week. It was a football lesson. I totally agree that if they were being dangerous it's a no no, all 3 have separately said it was for talking and that they apologised when they were there and asked to join in and were told no (I forgot that bit before)

I did not say I would be complaining about him missing out but that WIBU to ask about what happened. He's not a naughty boy but yes can be hyper as can most 9 year old boys. I guess I was worried that even asking about what happened was unreasonable if people thought that missing PE was ok. I have had to be into school lots with regards to DSs diagnosis recently (not because of his behaviour, according to school he's actually well behaved most of the time, its concentration/friendships that are the issue) so I don't really want to go in again unless it's really worth it.

OP posts:

Original poster

ZanyMobster · 13/05/2017 17:55

Sorry RedScissors I wanted to ask that if school confirmed that they were just talking too loudly, do you think the punishment was ok? Thanks

OP posts:

RedScissors · 13/05/2017 17:58

For talking too loudly? No, that's very extreme. But I do doubt that that was the whole story.

Sirzy · 13/05/2017 18:02

How many warnings had they had before though?

When walking in a large group them chatting could easily lead to people missing important instructions.

I think the important thing is to reiterate to your son that he needs to walk sensibly and that includes not chatting.

robinia · 13/05/2017 18:03

I would have a word with the teacher if you don't want it happening again. Just try to get the facts and stress that you want to work with ds to make sure it doesn't happen again as PE is important to him and you.

Original poster

ZanyMobster · 13/05/2017 18:07

Me too, I keep thinking there must be more to it! I love the school in many ways but sometimes they do seem very old fashion with their discipline and dish out extreme punishments for what I would consider minor things, they have some very funny rules and I tend to tell the DCs if they know the rules then to follow them at school regardless but they absolutely insist they were allowed to talk but just quieter than they were to begin with.

I am under no illusions that kids minimise what they have actually done a lot of the time of course and as a rule I let the school get on with it.

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Original poster

ZanyMobster · 13/05/2017 18:14

Sirzy - I don't really know, their version is they were told once then they believed after that they were whispering. They were told straight away then that they were still too loud so had to sit out, they said sorry and asked to join in and were told no, so sat out for the full hour. I told him straight away he should be walking nicely and not talking, he insists they were being good, it was purely the talking. As I have said I absolutely do have my doubts. I suppose my concern is that if they are completely telling the truth it just seems so extreme.

Robinia - PE should be as important as the other subjects at this age, I think maybe it is more so to DS and I as he struggles at school with his SEN so this is something that he is good at and can focus on and is not as overwhelming as being in the classroom for him so maybe I am sensitive about it.

I am also unsure about using not doing PE as a punishment, I am fairly certain if they talk to much they don't have to sit out of Choir for instance. PE isn't a reward, as far as I am aware it is part of the curriculum? Although I am not 100% sure I am right about that so apologies if I'm wrong.

OP posts:

Original poster

ZanyMobster · 13/05/2017 18:15

Robinia - I agree that could be a good way to approach it though, I really don't want to cause an issue at school for him (or me)

OP posts:

robinia · 14/05/2017 10:30

I agree about PE. I'd put it up at the top with literacy and numeracy - and ahead of science - personally.

Original poster

ZanyMobster · 14/05/2017 12:23

Especially when they are little, it's so important.

I think I will speak to school but like people have said to find out what happened. In a way I am hoping it is not quite as DS2 said.

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BollardDodger · 14/05/2017 22:44

I wish when I was at school not doing PE was used as a punishment!

Original poster

ZanyMobster · 15/05/2017 09:01

Ha ha, yes me too but that's not really the point. I am sure many kids would like missing Maths or English as a punishment but a school would not do this presumably.

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Spam88 · 15/05/2017 09:32

I would have considered not going PE to be a reward personally 😁

But yes, I can't imagine kids being made to sit out of any other lesson as a punishment so it shouldn't happen with PE. The exception in all cases being dangerous behaviour of course, which can include talking/not listening depending on the circumstances. Definitely think it's reasonable to ask the school what happened though.

BeyondThePage · 15/05/2017 09:39

Depends -

Not paying attention in a team sport could be dangerous. (not paying attention in Maths is unlikely to end up with more than a paper cut) The teacher was probably trying to make that the point - if they can't do as asked when asked to do it, then they can't take part in something that requires them to do that all the time.

Girlwiththearabstrap · 15/05/2017 09:40

It's worth finding out what's going on. But as for saying that they wouldn't have to miss other lessons for talking- well they might! I would put a kid on a time out, or to work separately for persistently being loud and refusing to follow my instructions to stop talking during a lesson. Do they have roads to cross? Is it possible that they missed an important safety instruction due to the excessive talking?

BollardDodger · 15/05/2017 09:43

I know on here when posters complain about PE and letting their kids off, the response is quite often PE is part of the curriculum, and there should be no getting out of it for any reason, so the school of the OP's child is obviously not treating PE as a 'proper' lesson.

Original poster

ZanyMobster · 15/05/2017 11:39

I do agree with all of you, if they were being dangerous they need to be punished, I really have no issue with that but even if they were asked to sit out for 15 mins in the same way as being sent out of the class for being disruptive I suspect this would have done the trick. I know DS2 is generally well behaved during PE, he loves it.

Thanks all, when I am at the school next I will ask what has happened as I am really keen for it to not happen again, whether that is by either DS or the school doing things differently. I will support school wherever necessary, I'm not out to blame them for something DS has done.

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