To be annoyed about parents moaning about ds when he's captaining team

[theduchessstill]

He's 10 and the team in question is obviously more of a fun version of the over 11s side. As captain he chooses players for the positions and the order they go on. He says his approach is to ask who wants a position and then make sure they all get a go.

The last couple of games he has heard parents complaining about the order and telling their kids to "just tell him you're going on next," etc. He is now saying he doesn't want to be captain anymore and is also worried he is being held responsible for the team losing the last few games. He absolutely loves this sport and was so proud to be captain.

Aibu to think they should stfu and to complain to the coach about them?

I think the coach is putting too much onto young shoulders if he's being given the final say on the batting order and positioning, at that age the captain should have some say but be led by the coach and their experience. Your DS needs to speak to his coach about it and ensure they will back him up.
I coach young cricketers sometimes and parents butting in for no real reason are the bane of my evening!

Why do the parents feel so strongly that the order makes any difference anyway? Or are they just trying to make sure that their child gets a go before the game is over?
I do despise parents who get over-involved in "my child matters more than anyone else's" ways, in team sports. The clue is in the name - TEAM sport.

Hope the coach can intervene and, as TeenandTween so beautifully put it, tell the parents to butt out.

hmcAsWas Thank you for the clarification of competitiveness. It highlighted my error in that I meant to say some people are over competitive, taking things to an unnecessary extreme.

Absolutely nothing wrong at all with competition and I too have kids in teams. My point is that there is occasionally a parent who takes it a whole lot more seriously than needs to be. Apologies about not making that clear.

Batting order makes a difference if it's not 'Pairs' Cricket, as played by most U10 and U11 leagues, except for cup matches. In Pairs cricket, everyone bats and bowls. In it's not pairs cricket, then not everyone will necessarily bat. You bat until you're 'out' or in children's leagues, until you're retired if you've scored a set amount of points. If 20 overs are bowled, not everyone will necessarily end up batting, so order can come into play. Ditto for bowling. Not everyone will bowl; the best bowlers will be chosen for several different overs each. Tricky, because they're all still kids and really should be getting a go. I don't like the non-pairs format for anyone under 14, but that's not how it works, sadly.

If it is cricket then at that age they'll all get a bat anyway so the parents are causing an issue where there isn't one!

X post with Ewe there..

Well the OP did say at the outset that her DS makes sure that he asks everyone what they want to do and then makes sure they all get a go, so again, I can't see what the parents' beef is, unless it's pure egotism by proxy (ok, I know that's not a "thing", but you know what I mean!)

I take your point SparkleSoiree - those kinds of parents are a PITA!

Cricket is totally different than other games, DS1 has been Captain for the U11 team since he was 9. Pairs is easier as it doesn't really matter as everyone gets a go although he used to decide the pairs and the order plus who bowled the extra overs if the wicket keeper didn't bowl.

He is Captain for the A team this year which is proper rules cricket so he decides the batting and bowling order plus fielding positions, the coach will assist him and suggest ideas to him, he coach also insists that everyone gets to bowl rather than just the best bowlers bowling maximum overs, DS1 will chose who bowls extra overs although there are limits anyway.

We make it clear to parents at the start of the season that in cricket the Captain has decision making responsibility and that the children should show respect to the Captains in the same way they would the coaches. If the club chooses the right Captain, even at 10 they are old enough to make sensible decisions (not just putting themselves and their mates in first) so it should never be an issue. DS is also the school team Captain and gets a harder time there as his best friend does push him around a bit but he has learnt to stand his ground.

Football/Rugby Captain's are relatively pointless and definitely don't make decisions at this age but right up from U9s cricket is totally different.

Anyway, I would definitely get your DS to mention it to the coach or you could mention it in passing as they have chose your DS for a reason so the parents should respect that, maybe the team manager could send out a similar email to what our club does about respecting the captain etc.

The coach should be stepping in to talk to the parents who don't like this system. The lad should only have to deal with any unhappy team-mates, not their grumpy parents as well. Refer the moaners to the coach.